TT&TOT

Cats on Tuesday: Amber has culture

2012-01-31T08:54:00.000-05:00

Amber sez, dis is how I lik to spend my Sundays gettin "culture". Da beans spend dere time lookin at these paper things.

I prefer to absorb my knowledge dis way.

I don't think it matters which way it happens, do you?

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Today's small blessings so far:

1. Heidi's bus was on time today so we didn't have to wait long. Yesterday, the bus hadn't shown up by 7:30 so we ended up driving her to work. Luckily there were some things we needed from the store.

2. It's supposed to get up to around 60 today. I'm thankful for the mild winter we've been experiencing!

3. Heidi gets back to town around the same time Kristin gets dropped off today so I'm grateful I'm not going back and forth.

4. Munchkin's ears have been looking better although I'm not sure the ear mite infection is totally cleared up.

5. I'm so glad I collected so many CDs over the years. Now I have plenty of music to listen to when I'm sick of the radio station's play list.

Making a toolbox with Tomas

2012-01-30T11:32:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, our little guy came over with his father for a few hours of fun. We had them come over earlier than usual because we wanted to start out by taking T to the flea market. The project this week was to make a tool box and we thought to pick up some tools for T. He seemed really into it.

I was surprised at how few people were at the flea market. TB said most people show up on Thursday or Sunday. Hm. I would have thought Saturday would be a big day too, but that's all right. We didn't have to fight any crowds. There weren't a lot of people selling tools but TB managed to find a good collection to start T off and it cost us only $12.

We went back home, had lunch, and then headed to TB's workshop. T wanted to paint stripes on his birdhouse so that was the first thing to do.

Next, T peeled off all the blue paper to reveal the stripes!

TB and T are using a drill press to make holes in the pieces for the toolbox. The holes will make it easier for T to hammer nails in.

T hasn't entirely gotten the hang of hammering but he's catching on fast. It just takes practice!

Once the toolbox was together, it was time for T to paint his name on it. His favorite color is red and so that is what he chose.

T decided he wanted to paint the whole tool box red and so TB is showing him how best to hold the brush. It's all painted and dry by now so when he comes over next weekend, he'll just need to paint his name again in a different color. I'm hoping it's a nice day so we can then go to the park or playground!

Tomas is such a joy for TB and me. The unconditional love strengthens us when we feel low and his energy inspires us to set aside our aches and pains. Grandchildren are very good for health and well being!

Small blessings:

1. What I just wrote above -- the energy bursts I get from being around our Little T. The rest of being with him, well, those are big blessings.

2. I think Kristin's financial aid is finally coming through. Long story.

3. Alcatraz looks like it's going to be a good series. I need something to follow as avidly as I followed Lost.

4. Jorge Garcia is in the series! He was my favorite actor from Lost.

5. Kristin gets dropped off for work and Heidi gets picked up from the bus stop at about the same time. The good thing about that is that the bus stop is just yards from the store where Kristin works. The other good thing is that I don't have to go back and forth today. That happens sometimes...but not today!

World Without End by Ken Follet

2012-01-26T09:12:00.000-05:00

I so enjoyed this book but, I have to say, not as much as The Pillars of the Earth. I'll get to why in a minute.

World Without End takes place 200 years later than Pillars in the same town of Kingbridge. It opens with four children doing what kids like to do--playing in the woods. Their play is interrupted by violence: a man is attacked by two others. Three of the children are able to get away as the two attackers are killed. The fourth child enters into a pact with the surviving victim. They hide a certain something and it's not to be spoken of ever unless the man dies.

Fast forward ten years. The children have all grown up and are pursuing different paths in life. The secret something remains buried, just waiting to be uncovered. The book spans a good 25 years, following the fortune and misfortune of each of the four. There is a true love, soul mates type romance in the story that is continually frustrated. There's triumph and tragedy in the story. There is also that dreadful disease that wiped out half the population in the Middle Ages: the plague. And does the secret ever become exposed? Read to find out!

Now here's why I didn't enjoy it as much as Pillars. I think I read it too soon afterward. At first I thought the characters would be completely different but then I realized there were a lot of similarities. The lead hero and lead heroine are almost interchangeable between both books. Even the heros look alike. The love affairs go through many trials and tribulations, similar but different.
There is a cruel, amoral earl in both Pillars and World. There are kind and decent monks and there are selfish, self-centered monks in both books. In both books, there are characters that carry grudges throughout a lifetime. I don't think I would have noticed it much if I'd read a bunch of books in between the two.

I would definitely recommend both books to anyone but I would also advise not to read them back to back like I did!

Cats on Tuesday: Hibernation Mode

2012-01-24T10:33:00.000-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

I haven't had much luck getting pictures of the gang doing anything but sleeping. They do play but by the time I get my camera, they've moved on to other things. It's not just the cold weather that makes them sleepy. Today is a nice, mild day.

Indigo

Mouse

Munchkin

Amber

Cubby sez, uh oh, Mommy Bean's at it again wid da fwashy ting!

Kosmo sez, don' worry 'boud it. Just kwose your eyes and go back to s'eep and she'll go 'way!

Better luck next time!

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Today's small blessings:

1. The vet's going to let us buy ear mite medicine for Munchkin without making an appointment for her. So we just have to pay for the medicine.

2. My daughter has to work on her birthday today but at least she's got a day shift and can have a hot meal with us at dinner. :)

3. My other daughter has the day off. I like it when all or most of the family can be together on birthdays and holidays.

Man Cat Monday: Cubby's Nest

2012-01-23T09:50:00.000-05:00

Cubby's got a couple of nesting spots throughout the house. There are two in our bedroom closet, at least one in TB's shop, another one under TB's desk and then there's this one.

Cubby sez, with Mommy Bean and her flashy ting I can't always get all the privacy I want.

Pwease go away now and lemme nap in peace!

Some recent small blessings I'm grateful for:

1. We didn't get a lot of snow, just a couple of inches, over the weekend. We can have a snow drought this year--I don't mind!

2. The weather's supposed to be in the 50s and 40s this week. I like that--a week of consistency!

3. It's been fun watching DVDs with the kids over the last couple of weeks. The library is a wonderful resource for movies and Walmart has some for $5.

4. I haven't heard anything back about the CAT scan I had for the possible adenoma on my left kidney and the chest scan. It's been over a week. No news is good news?

5. Today, I don't have to do any driving until 5. That's a nice break from yesterday, when there was a lot of driving.

6. I use this as a small blessing a lot but it really means a lot to me in the mornings: our coffee maker with a timer. Some mornings we have to be up at 4 a.m. and it's a blessing to have nice, hot coffee waiting for us!

7. Kristin organized my recipes for me. I re-discovered recipes I tried once on the family and they really liked it but it got "lost" amongst all the others.

8. This morning I took a shower and the bathroom was nice and warm thanks to our space heater.

9. Munchkin has ear mites again but we still have medicine to treat her.

10. Walmart has a store brand for different products. One is lemonade. I like to make a pitcher and then mix it with my lemon tea protein. It tastes so good to me and definitely makes drinking the protein mix easier!

The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

2012-01-20T09:54:00.000-05:00

This book was actually published back in the late 1980s and didn't make a big deal. I wasn't aware of it then, probably because I had two little toddlers to chase after. It came back on the best seller list some years back. I picked up the paper back from Costco but it stayed on my shelf from 2008 to around Christmas time of this year.

Why? Ken Follett usually writes thrillers and I wasn't sure how he'd do with historical fiction. The Pillars of the Earth has to do with the building of a cathedral in the Middle Ages and that just didn't catch my interest much. To top it off, the size of the book was daunting!

What changed my mind? Reading Sarum and London by Edward Rutherfurd. Reading about the Middle Ages could be compelling, I realized, and it was about time I gave Pillars a chance. I'm so glad I did!

As for a thriller writer being able to write historical fiction in an exciting way ... well, no doubt about it, Ken Follett can do it!

The story follows a small group of characters through the years of building the cathedral. There's Prior Philip of Kingsbridge, who has the dream and ambition of having the cathedral built. He's a good man, stern and just, but he has ambition. There's Tom Builder, the mason who's always wanted to build a cathedral and his second wife, Ellen, considered by many to be a witch. Characters who start out as children and grow up throughout the story including Jack, Ellen's son who has a mysterious background, and Aliena, daughter of an earl who runs afoul of the king. There are many secondary characters, several of whom develop into enemies of Tom, Aliena and Jack.

Of course, the building of the cathedral doesn't go smoothly. Philip's enemies do everything in their power to stymy the progress. Politics--a conflict between the king of England, Stephen, and one who wanted to be queen, Maud. Out of the conflict comes King Henry II.

I learned a lot from this book but it wasn't tedious. The book was exciting and very hard to put down. You can never be sure what to expect. A major character isn't necessarily "safe" from death or mayhem and I like those kinds of shocks and surprises. I'm half way through the sequel, World Without End. I highly recommend this book!

Catching Up

2012-01-16T10:37:00.000-05:00

I "slept in" this morning to 7 a.m. because I didn't have to get up earlier and drive anywhere! There are no doctor appointments nor anyone needing to get to work. I almost don't know what to do with myself! I'd started out listing five small things that are blessings to me on a daily basis but unfortunately that's gone by the way side. Many days I didn't get a chance to get on the computer. So instead of daily, it'll be whenever I have the time to actually post something.

We got a big blessing recently. TB's mom decided she didn't want to drive anymore and gave us her car. We went down with her to DMV to transfer the title over. Now we just need to save up enough money to register and insure the car. This has been an expensive month and we don't have any extra cash.

We had Little T over on Saturday. It was too cold to go to a park or playground so TB had a couple of projects to work on in the shop. T was thrilled! Under supervision, he got to use several of the big machines and I could tell he was happy about that.

Here TB and T are using the scroll saw to cut out a picture of Sponge Bob. T is a big Sponge Bob fan!

Next, they painted the cut out. T can play with it like a wooden paper doll when the paint dries completely.

TB pre-cut the pieces of wood to build a bird house. The pieces then had to be fitted together. That's where T came in--he did a lot of the hammering. It wasn't easy but he stuck with it.

Tomas proudly showed off the bird house once he and TB painted it red. This week, it needs to dry completely so that next week T can paint purple stripes on it. Yes, purple. Purple and red are his favorite colors!

It's been a pretty mild winter so far but recently we've had some very cold days. For my birthday, Heidi got me an adorable hat with polar bear ears. I love wearing it but it especially was a blessing on these super cold days! I thought to change my avi picture on Facebook for the winter.

Here are the small little things that brighten my day everyday:

1. coffee on a timer--it's wonderful to wake up and have the coffee brewed and ready for us!

2. the local news--we watch WKYS here in the Philly area and the morning news team works so well together. They make us laugh sometimes. I really miss them on the weekends when they're not on when I'm up and I have to wake up some other way.

3. Judge Judy--so wise, so funny, and so very tough!

4. dinner when everyone is home--so rare and so enjoyable

5. reading with TB--companionable time spent together in a hobby we both love!

6. days like this when I don't have to start the day early in the morning, driving around

7. listening to the classical music Bill burned for me from the internet

8. naps--to re-energize

9. watching movies at night with the kids when they don't have to work. Last night, TB, Kristin and I watched Kung Fu Panda 2.

10. watching the cats play with the little mice Kristin got for them. It's so much fun to watch them (Amber and Mouse especially) somersault across the floor, chase and bat at the mice and carry them off in their mouths.

I'm sure there's other daily blessings that brighten my day but I can't think anymore.

I think I'm going to get my book, settle down and read to a CD of Mozart.

Cats on Tuesday: A Winter's Day

2012-01-10T08:22:00.001-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

A cold winter's day ...

Awright, I know I look silly but it's cooooooolllld outside and I don't have a nap buddy like Cubby and Mouse do!

I don't neither, wanna share that nice warm scarf wif me?

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Hey! What's dat noise?

Just Kosmo...not sharing!

Don't worry, we'll share...if you can find room!

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GiST #7 & #8

2012-01-08T14:39:00.000-05:00

I've been doing so much running around I haven't had much time for anything, including going on Facebook or Blogger. When I get home, I want to crash because I'm so tired and when I get up it's time to run again. But I didn't want to skip GiST two days in a row or I'd forget about it again!

Grace In Small Things 7 & 8

1. What a beautiful day yesterday! It's just about unheard of to have 65 degrees on a day in January.

2. It made for perfect walking weather with Little T. He likes to stop and look at the various streams that run through the woods all the way to the Rancocas Creek or to Smithville Lake.

3. It's not as warm today but it's still very nice! This is more October weather than January!

4. We had enough $ to get everything we needed from Shoprite and Walmart. Sometimes we have to cut back and not get things but today we were able to get it all, including healthy fresh produce and snacks for the kids trying to lose weight.

5. Today I found a new recipe for pork loin chops and am looking forward to trying it.

That's all I can think of for now and I need to take Kristin to work, pick Heidi up from the bus stop!

Watching the news is hazardous/GiST 5 & 6

2012-01-06T08:35:00.000-05:00

I don't like to watch the national news because so often it gives me agita. Watching the local news can be fun, entertaining or heartwarming ... or, lately, it can give me agita too. In the past few days, I've watched badly behaving Flyers' fans beating up on NY Ranger fans. A couple of teenagers took videos of themselves vandalizing cars and then uploaded them to U-tube (or someplace like it).

This morning a pair of thugs were caught on video beating their victim and then robbing him at a train station in full view of everyone. In fact, you can see people standing in the background watching. Watching. Not calling 911. Just standing there, watching. What is wrong with people? I can understand not becoming physically involved in rescuing the guy but why didn't anyone call 911? And a reporter interviewed someone later who said that at a busy stop like that, there should be more cops. Really? Did he call for help? I bet he didn't!

None of these stories inspire me to visit Philadelphia anytime soon, that's for sure! I may have to give up on the local news, too, because lately there hasn't been enough feel-good stories to counteract the horror of what some people have turned into.

I didn't get a chance to post my Grace in Small Things yesterday so here goes:

Grace in Small Things #5

1. Our Little T called us and it never fails to thrill us when he does. We're seeing him for a few hours tomorrow and will probably spend part of it walking in the park.

2. T's father tells us that T has wanted to play checkers every night since they brought it home. That really warmed TB's heart. T didn't seem too interested in it at first but I had a feeling he would really get into it.

3. What a day for driving yesterday! TB enjoys cooking, though, and he made dinner while I was away at the doctor with Kristin. It was totally delicious!

4. Kristin actually saw the nurse practitioner and she has no problem at all with helping to manage Kristin's prescriptions. She wants Kristin to get blood work but also had some good information about a program through a lab for people who have little or no insurance. Yay!

5. Watched a movie with TB, Bill and Kristin called Apollo 18. It was okay but what was nicer was spending time with everyone. The really nice thing was that it wasn't a long movie so I could get to bed early because I needed to be up so early this morning.

Grace in Small Things 6

1. Today is my sweet TB's birthday. He is my best friend and the most wonderfullest husband ever! I wish him a day filled with joy and -- I pray -- the pain meds kick in and work for him very well today!

2. Bill is giving me a big break from driving by picking up Heidi from work. He's also picking up things I need for dinner. He says it's no big deal and it's all on his way anyway but I still gave him a big hug. I really appreciate it!

3. Today I'm starting to take the Christmas decorations down. As I do, I look at each thing and remember something special about this past Christmas season.

4. Heidi's early morning bus was on time. It's nice not to have to wait a long time!

5. I finished The Pillars of the Earth and am about to start the sequel, World Without End. Pillars was an absolutely awesome book!

GiST #4

2012-01-04T13:57:00.000-05:00

Today hasn't been such a great day. We learned that Kristin's health insurance through the college is truly a junk policy! It doesn't pay for first doctor visits at all, $60 for the second, $40 for the 3rd and on up to $750. A regular physician's visit is $130 and never mind the specialists, which she needs. Now we're scrambling to make sure she can keep getting the meds that keep her stabilized. It's hard to feel positive today but I'll try.

Grace in Small Things #4

1. The polar bear hat Heidi gave me does a great job keeping my ears warm
2. TB warmed up the car for me earlier this morning when I was going to take Heidi to the bus stop
3. The bus was pretty much on time so we didn't have to sit around waiting
4. I'm listening to The Messiah right now and it's beautiful
5. I'm almost done with my book and have the sequel up on deck

GiST #3

2012-01-03T17:47:00.000-05:00

Grace in Small Things #3

1. Ah meatloaf--simple but delicious!
2. We had a lot of places to go to and errands to run today but got it all done so I could still take a nap!
3. I am absolutely thrilled for my brother and his lady love.
4. I love Judge Judy. She doesn't put up with any BS, tells it like it is, and is wiser than an owl!
5. Outside we are finally getting the coldest weather we've gotten since last Friday. I am grateful for my heated house!

Cats on Tuesday: Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T09:38:00.000-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Hi effurybody! We had such a nice New Year's weekend and hope you all did too. We thought it would be nice to wish effurybody a Happy New Year! Kosmo, wake up!

(Yawn) Yes, Happy New Year, effurybody! Munchkin?

(snork) Wha? I thought the party was over! Oh...Happy New Year, effurybody! Mouse?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Effuryone is too sleepy from all the fun this weekend. Good night! Zzzzzzzzz...

Even my bean conked out!

I'm going to conk out too! Happy New Year!

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Man Cat Monday & GiST #2

2012-01-02T12:37:00.000-05:00

Kosmo and Cubby are frequent cuddle buddies. Usually I find them snuggled together on the bed but this time here they are on TB's chair. They were worn out from celebrating all New Year's weekend!

Grace in Small Things #2

1. Kosmo and Cubby are such good sports about having their pictures taken! When the "flashy thing" appears, many in the gang disappear or move from the cute positions they were in. Not these boys!

2. There was no frost on the car this morning. It was really blustery so I appreciated not having to stand there scraping the windows!

3. Heidi's bus was not only on time, it was early! Even better, it was parked alongside the stop so that people who would normally catch the bus wouldn't miss it!

4. I'm listening to The Trans Siberian Orchestra. I just love the way they sound--orchestra and rock instruments and Christmas music. You wouldn't think it would work but it does very well. No wonder they are so popular!

5. Morning naps are very restful. I've been getting up at 4 or 5 to get Heidi to the bus stop and find I need to conk out later in the morning. I feel more rested from a morning nap than I do from an afternoon one. I'm not sure why but am glad for it!

Fresh Start 2012--GiST 2012

2012-01-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

It's the first day of a brand new year and I'd resolved to look for the positives in my life to counter balance the negatives. Our family gets hit with a lot of the negatives and it gets so discouraging it's hard sometimes to see the little bright glimmers. One thing I thought to do is start over with Grace in Small Things (GiST). GiST is a 365 day challenge to express five little things in the day that make it brighter. So here goes my first GiST of this year:

1. The sun is out and it's very mild for January. Normally I'm done with winter as soon as Christmas is over so this is a blessing for me. Also, we don't have to run the heat. Temperatures are supposed to plummet later this week but we'll enjoy this while we can!

2. There's nothing like waking up and following your nose to the kitchen, smelling fresh coffee brewing. Thank heavens for timers! I remember when I'd fumble around, half-asleep, trying to make that first pot of coffee!

3. I opened the door to a full fridge. Ah, delicious left overs for lunch!

4. Heidi's car is still kaput but there is the bus so that I don't have to drive her 20 miles to and from work. The schedule isn't always convenient but it's better than nothing!

5. I'm reading a really good book, The Pillars of the Earth, by Ken Follett. I can't seem to put it down. Some of the books I read are so-so and some are so bad I put them down. I'm really grateful when I have a book I just fall into!

Happy New Year, all!

Happy New Year 2012!

2011-12-31T08:47:00.000-05:00

v4orkut.com

Another year is coming to an end and a new one is beginning. I picked this gif because it seemed the most hopeful to me--bright, beautiful colors and healthy green grass. That is my wish for 2012--that it's a better year for everyone! My resolution for this new year will be to focus more on the positive things happening in my life.

It promises to be a busy afternoon and evening. I want to make seven layer cookies (very decadent) to have this evening. We also have chips, cheese, pigs-in-a-blanket makings, and cookies to snack on while we watch movies and count down to midnight.

The cats will get their favorite flavors of Fancy Feast!

Best wishes to everyone for a happy and safe New Year's celebration!

Cats on Tuesday: Is Christmas Over Yet?

2011-12-27T08:02:00.001-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Kosmo sez, the last couple days da Beans been crazy! They've been ambushing us wit dose reindeer ears and takin pikturs wit dose flashy tings!

Dey got us on Christmas Eve.

Dey got us on Christmas Day.

An den dere was yesterday!

I taught Christmas was over wif! Uh...Boxing Day? What's dat?

Dey say it's my turn to wear dese ears! Halllllllllllp!

Oh no you didn't! What do you mean you want a piktur of all of us in dese ears?

No, I won't smile for the camera, are you kidding me?

I fink it's all over until next year, fank goodness!

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Our Merry Christmas

2011-12-26T14:37:00.000-05:00

We had such a lovely Christmas and hope everyone else who celebrates enjoyed peace and joy yesterday.

All of us donned festive head wear whether we wanted to or not! ;)

The kids made merry

and TB and I made merry!

Tomas came over later in the morning. It was fun to watch him open presents!

TB made this checker board for T in his workshop. It came out beautifully!

TB explains how to play checkers

T and his daddy enjoy a moment together

Kristin took this picture of me. See the little pin on my collar? I love it! It's an angel pin for grandmas and T gave it to me! :)

Hope everyone is enjoying this day after Christmas!

From All of Us To You: Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T12:48:00.000-05:00

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas and...

Someone is gonna die for this!

How do I get this awfffffffffffffff????

I fink I know how!

Woooohooo! An a Happy New Year!

Awright, so maybe the ears aren't so bad!

Merry Christmas to all!

Cats on Tuesday: Mommy Bean's Desk

2011-12-20T09:40:00.000-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Halp! Halp! I'm trying to hold everything on but I don't fink I can!

Mommy Bean's not the most organized human bean around. Usually there's a place for me to lie down but not always. When there isn't, I try to help by keepin stuff from slidin into my sleepy spot but ...

...sumtimes I just gotta give up! All I want for Christmas is a nice clear spot, a nice clear spot, a nice clear spot!

Want more cat blogging?

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The Great Santa Search by Jeff Guinn

2011-12-18T15:06:00.000-05:00

Jeff Guin's written three books in the "Santa Claus Chronicles" and this one is my favorite. The first two dragged a lot for me but this one moved along at a nice smooth and steady pace.

Santa has his biggest challenge ever because of a proposed reality show called "The Great Santa Search". The owner of a local TV station is desperate to save it. He's been losing viewers because of reality shows so he teams up with (unbeknownst to him) an unscruplous toy manufacturer to produce a live contest between the 10 best Santas in the country. The Santas will compete in different activities and the audience will participate in voting for the best Santa. Sound like every reality show we've seen?

The winner will be the spokesperson for the toy company, which produces low quality products.

Santa's horrified. Children will be confused because Santa's the spokesman of one single company! They'll become disillusioned with him because the toys he sponsors break on contact. He must do something about this contest! But what?

There's a little bit of history thrown into this story--particularly, how we got to have a Santa in every store and how Santa's helpers turned out to be elves.

There was some mild suspense with Santa worming his way into the competition and a possible cheating scandal. That's all I'll say about that.

One of my objections is this: Santa keeps trying to insist that the holday is all about loving and giving and Jesus. He says when he gives gifts, children understand the spirit of generosity and giving to others. I guess I'm cynical about that. I don't think that's the Santa message at all. I think it's about presents, presents, presents.

Even when I was a little kid, I didn't learn that Santa Claus had anything to do with baby Jesus. They were two separate beings. On Christmas morning, Santa brought us lots of gifts and, oh, yes, by the way, we also went to church to celebrate the birth of a baby I never met. Okay, so that's probably a failing on my parents' part or maybe even that of my Sunday school teachers.

I didn't make any connection between Santa and Jesus or even what Christmas was really about until I was much older, a teenager, maybe. So I don't think little kids are getting a message that Santa's gifts mean that they should turn around and give gifts or celebrate Jesus' birth. Sorry, Jeff Guin.

On another note, we took Little T back to Smithville Park for another long walk. What's really nice is he loves going on these walks along the trail. He led us again and we went down part of a trail we hadn't been down before. We were all good and tired by the time we were done!

Cats on Tuesday: Christmas Tree Kitties

2011-12-13T12:23:00.000-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Kosmo sez, I have a great new hidey place! The beans put up this thing called a Christmas tree an when I get under it, no one can see me!

Amber sez, if no one can see you how come Mommy Bean took a piktur of you?

OK, then, I'll shut my eyes! No one can see me now!

Yeeeeeesh! Santa Paws, please bring Kosmo a brain!

Want more cat blogging?

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Thirteen Ways to Happiness & Wishin' and Hopin' by Wally Lamb

2011-12-08T11:44:00.000-05:00

I was going to write about this study I read about the other day. Children that grow up in homes with violence end up with the same types of brain responses as soldiers in a war environment. I remember my therapist told me about that and I sort of believed it but was also skeptical. How could I compare what happened to me to that of a soldier in combat? Well...there it was, all true. The thing is, I also didn't want to write about it. It depressed me.

I liked this article much better and it fit in nicely with the Thursday Thirteen theme. See, I waver between feeling up and positive to feeling depressed and negative. It's a battle to stay upbeat but I find if I can do it a couple of days in a row, I can get a momentum going and keep at least an even keel for a while.

The article talks about what happy people do differently to stay happy. There was a list of 12 things and then I added one:

Thirteen Ways to Happiness

1. "Express Gratitude". Even if the only thing you can say is you have a roof over your head and food in your belly, this helps. I think about the things I do have when times are rough--like now, with the spending Christmas season. Things could be a lot worse.

2. "Cultivate Optimism". This is something my therapist was trying out with me. It involves saying things like, things aren't going so well but they can get better.
Or they will get better.

3. "Avoid over-thinking and social comparison". In other words, instead of worrying about the Joneses' just focus on yourself. So I'll just not concern myself with all the lights and decorations everyone else seems to have.

4. "Practice acts of kindness." This is a good one. I've done lots of these and it really is true--it gets that feel-good serotonin flowing.

5. "Nurture social relationships." This is a little harder for me to practice except on the internet. I never did make any friendships here in NJ mostly because it just seems like I have to say good bye to people I've made close friends with in the two states I lived in before, MD and NY. I try to attend to my internet friendships though. I've found some of my closest friends online.

6. "Develop strategies for coping". Ah, well, this is a skill I learned as a child when there were all sorts of crisis and chaos going on around me. I would come up with a Plan A, B, C, D, and E. If one failed, I'd turn to another.

7. "Learn to forgive". That's come with age. It's not something I could do when I was younger and filled with righteous anger. Over the years, the anger's tempered and I've learned a lot about how people behave and think.

8. "Increase flow experiences". Well, that's something I need to work on. I can get into the flow when I'm writing but haven't been able to focus recently. If I developed a hobby I enjoyed I could get into the flow too.

9. "Savor life's joys". Ah, yes, like spending the day with Little T or watching a snowstorm from the safety of my home or the sun coming up over the ocean.

10. "Commit to your goals". This is another one I need to work on. I feel adrift because I don't really have any goals other than getting through each and every day.

11. "Practice Spirituality". We do that, praying several times a day.

12. "Take Care of Your Body." I could improve in this area. I could exercise more regularly and watch what I eat. I could make sure I get to doctors for regular check-ups and preventative tests like mammograms and stuff.

13. Keep your sense of humor. This my own addition. I think if I didn't have a sense of humor (albeit a dark one sometimes) I would have lost my mind already. When I laugh, I feel those feel-good endorphins flowing around.

Last night, I finished reading a book called Wishin and Hopin by Wally Lamb, one of my favorite authors. The book was funny and sweet, focusing on 10 year old Felix Funicello, his family, friends, and school teachers. I saw it marketed in the book club as a Christmas book. I wouldn't have called it that although Christmas is in it. So are Halloween and Thanksgiving. It's more a coming of age story and Felix reminded me of Ralphie, the kid from A Christmas Story. I also got a kick out of the book because it was like a walk down memory lane--the way people dressed and talked, the TV shows they watched, and how simple everything used to be. Families ate together instead of apart. It was a fast, entertaining read and I'm glad to add it to my Wally Lamb collection!

Cats on Tuesday: Kosmo's Grooming

2011-12-06T08:34:00.000-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Kosmo sez, today wuz my turn fur a nice massage and grooming!

Oooh, dis is so wewaxing, I might jus fall asweep!

Mouse sez, jus wemember dis when it's my turn!

Ack! What's dis? I tole you not to use dat hair cream! Yuck! Ptui! You owe me!

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Fun With Little T Again

2011-12-05T15:38:00.000-05:00

This time we planned on a relaxing time with Little T. Smithville Park was having a Victorian Christmas celebration with a visit from St. Nick. We figured we'd be watching or listening to entertainment, looking at crafts, touring the mansion, and taking T to see Santa. It didn't quite work out that way. Today we are aching and tired but still had a wonderful time.

This is T in the parking lot when we got there. We overshot the entrance to the closer lot and so we ended up parking farther away. We enjoy walking so that was fine. T saw a sign for the "Blue" trail leading off into the woods and thought that's where we were going but we redirected him and he led us through the old Smithville village to the mansion.

When we got there, we found out that they weren't quite all set up for the start of the celebration. Well...we had the blue trail to fall back on, right? We'd take a lovely walk through the woods. It was close to 60 and didn't feel like December weather. Here are a couple of pictures I took along the way.

I bet this trail was beautiful during the peak season of leaves!

This was kind of wild. The smaller tree in front had grown into the larger tree behind!

As usual, T was our guide along the way. The path was steep in places, up and down, and full of tree roots. Big, thick ones!

Check out this big old tree!

We got back around the blue trail and headed back to the celebration. There were some "photo ops" set up around the grounds and TB and T took advantage of them!

Another one was near a wagon from the period laden with stuffed animals and gifts.

Unfortunately we didn't get to take the tour. I should have realized it wasn't free but it didn't cross my mind until we walked up to the mansion. Oops. We didn't have enough for the tour and lunch too...and by now our tummies were rumbling. Time to eat!

T is a very picky eater and always has been. This is associated with PDD-NOS and so we're just used to it. But hey! The vendor had chicken fingers, a close cousin to chicken nuggets. We got on line and then began to check out the prices. It was like reading a menu at a place on the turnpike. They know they got you so you can get gouged.

Except...we knew there was a McDonald's close buy. We could stay in budget and get something to eat so off we went.

When we got back, Santa was just going on break. We hung out, revisiting the booths. "A Christmas Carol" was being performed but it was too noisy and crowded for T so we just kept moving. Fifteen minutes later, Santa was back!

This time I got into the picture!

Santa asked T what he wanted. "I want," T began and froze. Maybe he was nervous, maybe he forgot what he wanted, maybe he wasn't sure how to put what he wanted into words. Maybe he would have said he wanted to hear from his mother who hasn't called in almost a year. He hasn't said anything about it but I'm sure he wonders.
Ugh. Off that. Santa said when T was ready, he could think what he wanted to Santa and he'd bring some gifts to make T happy.

Speaking of that, TB made Little T a checker board with little wooden cars as the pieces. I think T will get a kick out of that!

From there our busy day wasn't over. We went back to the house and to TB's workshop so T could sign the gifts he painted last week. We then put the gifts into boxes, taped or wrapped them, and T wrote out the gift tags. It was fun.

Now it was time to take Little T home. It was nearing dark and we'd had a wonderful day. TB and I came home and collapsed. Heh. It was worth it!

11/22/63 by Stephen King

2011-12-04T17:31:00.000-05:00

Stephen King is one of my favorite authors--he never fails to entertain me with his page turners. Normally he writes horror and as I'm turning the pages, unable to put the books down, my hair is standing on end. 11/22/63 isn't horror--unless you count Kennedy's assassination, how the simple things you do can affect the future and the general hateful ignorance of some people. This was a time travel book and he really pulled it off!

Jake Epping is a caring English teacher recovering from an unpleasant divorce. Al, owner of a diner, has decided that Jake fits his bill nicely and takes him into his confidence. Al's become mysteriously very ill and asks Jake to meet him at the diner. He has some kind of wormhole in the back that takes you back to the same September day in 1958 every time you use it. Jake of course is very skeptical so Al has him give it a shot.

Jake comes back amazed and even more curious. Why is Al telling him all this? It turns out there's a method to Al's madness. He's been time travelling in an attempt to stop the assassination of President Kennedy. The problem is, he's become seriously ill with cancer and can no longer pursue his goal. Enter Jake, a single man with no children and no real attachments.

The whole thing seems so crazy and yet Jake is drawn to the idea. Maybe if Kennedy had lived, we wouldn't have suffered such terrible events as more assassinations, the war in Viet Nam, and the near depression. Jake decides it's worth a try.

Will he succeed? Time resists change. It might not be so easy to change things. If he succeeds, what happens to the country as a result of President Kennedy surviving the assassination attempt by Lee Harvey Oswald? What changes occur just because Jake is wandering around in the past? What happens if love comes along to complicate things?

Read to find out. You won't regret it and will enjoy the ride back in time!

Wordless Wednesday: Don't tell about my hiding spot!

2011-11-30T09:59:00.001-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

I know this is supposed to be Wordless Wednesday but I'm concerned about a couple of comments I've gotten from readers who say when they click on my blog they're directed away to another website. This has happened to my husband several times too. We're not affiliated with any other website so I can't imagine why that should happen! I'm definitely taking it up with Blogger!

Cats on Tuesday: Holiday Wear For Felines (Or Not)

2011-11-29T09:16:00.000-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

These are the pictures I was supposed to post last Tuesday but didn't get a chance to. Kosmo and Munchkin were hoping I'd forget entirely!

Heidi came in one evening with a little Rudolph outfit she'd bought somewhere (maybe Walmart). Of course, we had to model the outfit right away!

Kosmo sez, are you kiddin me? I are not a reindeer! I'd eat reindeer if I was bigger!

Munchkin sez, hai what is dis red jingly thing around my neck? How come Kosmo don't hafta wear one?

The truth? It wouldn't go around big boy's neck!

Munchkin sez, oh, halp!

Mebbe if I close my eyes it'll all go away!

Kosmo sez, I don't care what the store says! Dis is not appropriate feline wear. Matter of fact, there is no appropriate feline wear 'cept our furs!

The Beans decided to lissen ... at least until Christmas!

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Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

A lovely day

2011-11-27T16:09:00.000-05:00

I have that kind of delicious soreness grandparents get from spending time with grandchildren and overextending themselves. You have so much fun at the time you don't really mind the pain that comes later.

Today was more like a day in September than late November. We'd arranged to have T come over with the idea of working in the shop painting Christmas projects. It was so lovely, though, we just had to have a walk first. We set out, TB, me, T, Bill and the dog, and walked around the lake. T led us and even though we hadn't been this way in a couple of years, he remembered all the paths.

Once we got back, we had lunch and then headed back to work on the projects TB'd cut out on the scroll saw.

These are just a few of the ornaments TB made. We thought it would be fun for T to decorate some of them for his dad, other set of grandparents, and aunt and uncle.

T chose the ones he wanted to paint and decided which colors he wanted to use. He was very curious about color combinations, i.e. yellow and green make orange.

TB painted other ornaments side by side with T.

Sometimes he acted as a consultant.

All in all, it was a lot of fun.

After T grew tired of painting, we went back outside. T wanted to go for another walk, this time down the street. Our legs were already sore but how could we say no? Off we went.

It sure was a lovely day today!

Bah Humbug to Black Friday shopping

2011-11-26T11:37:00.001-05:00

I think I'm in the minority of people who choose to say no to Black Friday shopping and just sleep in. This year some stores (Walmart, Toys R Us, Target and others) opened Thanksgiving evening. And the people came. Not only did they show up, some of them started camping out in front of the stores on Tuesday! One couple had a young child with them. So they were going to stay out overnight for several days and spend their Thanksgiving in a tent!

Nope. Not me. A sale is never as important as spending time with my family on Thanksgiving.

You know what will happen now, don't you? The stores will declare that the customers loved this new opening time, are willing to come and shop and so they'd probably come out even earlier. Pretty soon we'll have people rushing out to shop between the turkey and the pumpkin pie. Or ... they'll skip it all together and just camp out like that couple with the child did. I'd love to hear this kid's memories of Thanksgiving. Oh, yes, we spent the week camping and shivering. Then Dad would go to Wawa and bring us back Gobblers (turkey, stuffing, gravy & cranberry sauce either in a bowl or in a sandwich). Then the store would open and we'd have a race to see who got the most the fastest. And one year, I even got pepper sprayed in the face!

Yep, this year a woman brought pepper spray into Walmart with her. She was determined to move all those cattle, I mean, customers out of her way so she could get everything on her list. She pepper sprayed about two dozen people right in the face, got her stuff, went to the check-out line, paid and left. Okay, so you know there were people who saw this but no one stopped her. Walmart has employees on the floor. I know they would much rather have been with their families but where were they? Did no one see this woman? I'm willing to grant that the cashiers didn't see her commit assault because they were probably very busy checking out all the other shoppers. So this woman assaulted two dozen shoppers and got away with it.

You know, this may start an ugly trend when shoppers want to get other shoppers out of the way. Thursday it was pepper spray. What will it be next time?

Rich and I went out on the first Black Friday event I can remember in 1999 or 2000. We were up at 3 or 4 in the morning and it was cold. We had to bring the kids with us because we had no babysitter. That was the first turn-off, looking at those poor, sleepy, shivering kids. Rich blasted the heat and stayed in the car with the kids while I went from store to store and did the shopping. We got some good deals, it's true, but many items were "bait and switch" to get you to spend more. That was the only time I went Black Friday shopping. I didn't think the bargains were so great that I'd drag my kids out of a sound sleep and put them in a cold car. There's no way I wanted to be getting up that early either!

About all those bargains I saw people carting away, I wondered how much of it was truly Christmas presents and how much I-want-it-for-myself gifts. I read a short article somewhere about the large amount of money people spend on self-gifting. I mean, who's getting that 55" flat screen TV? Or that new iPod or iPad?

I don't want other people's selfishness and stores' greed dictating when I'm going to shop. There will be no Black Friday or Small Business Saturday or Cyber Monday for me. I have a budget and a list I'm working with and will go in my own time. I may not save a ton of money but I think I'll have fun choosing gifts for everyone.

Health insurance disappointment

2011-11-22T08:40:00.000-05:00

I was so excited to find out that there are Medicare plans offering dental and vision coverage. I called for more information and after talking with the Medicare representative almost an hour about our needs, we settled on two companies to compare, Horizon and Bravo. Medicare sent a more detailed report about the two companies.

Meanwhile, I contacted our doctors and found out that all of them take Horizon. Not all of them took Bravo, though, nor did a hospital we use and so that was a deal breaker. When the reports came, we focused on Horizon and read through it carefully. It sounded good.

Right now, TB and I each pay over $200 to our current secondary carrier, $96 to Medicare and $36 to our prescription plans. With Horizon, we'd pay $84 a month and then $96 to Medicare. We'd save quite a bit of money. A drawback was that specialists' co-pay would be $35 and TB sees a few specialists a month. Okay, so that would eat up our savings but, hey, we'd get vision and dental! I contacted Horizon and asked for their benefits book and some applications.

The books arrived yesterday and TB and I were taken aback and confused. The dental and vision plans are very limited. For instance, with vision you pay up to $35 for the exam and then they cover a max of $100 toward glasses every two years. That's fine for someone who doesn't have involved prescriptions like TB and I do. Our glasses are, minimum, about $300 each. Still...maybe we could save up. And then we looked at the dental plan. There's a $35 co-pay and then you pay for each additional service. A filling would be $56. A root canal (which is what TB needs) is $661. Crowns cost $1000 and up. There's no way we could pay for these things.

On top of that, there's a $150/day for 10 days co-pay on hospitalization. That was the deal breaker for me. With everything we have going on, I couldn't say we wouldn't be in the hospital for a surgery or something. There is absolutely no way we'd be able to pay that bill.

I am so bummed. TB and I have talked about it and talked about it and it doesn't really look like it would be in our best interest to switch. We could stick with our company and have no co-pays and full coverage. We would have to save for a year to afford getting glasses or our teeth fixed, though--if then. Other emergencies keep popping up.

This is yet another reason I totally support health insurance reform. Too many people either don't have it or have really limited benefits and then are screwed when something goes wrong. Oh well. Having dental and vision insurance was a nice dream while it lasted. :(

Man cat Monday & fun with Little T

2011-11-21T08:38:00.000-05:00

Kosmo sez, Mommy Bean got a book last week by some bean named Stephen King. I yam helping her out by reading all dis other stuff dey sent with da book!

Yesterday, we spent the morning and early afternoon with Little T. We saw him for the first time in a long time last weekend. His dad has been ill and TB's had surgery and other physical problems for the last few months. So last Sunday we were all catching up and Little T became restless. He turned and looked at his dad and said, "Aren't you leaving me here?" It was so funny. We made arrangements for yesterday and T asked, "And then you'll leave me?"

When they arrived yesterday, Kennan was telling me that T had been up since five getting ready to come over and becoming more excited. I was so touched. Does anyone really understand the impact they make on a child? I know I felt sort of awed by the fact T was looking so forward to spending time with TB and me.

TB made walking sticks for all of us and had carved our names into them: Tomas, Pop-Pop, Nana. T was excited to use his walking stick for the first time.

We went to Smithville Park. There are several trails through the woods and we've been on all of them. The longest one and the favorite by far is the red trail. I think it's about 1-1/2 miles, maybe closer to 2. Throughout the trail, there's heavy wooden bridges and steps. Those steps! TB and I can't race up and down those things anymore. We have to go one at a time and T waits for us patiently at the top.

T likes to take the lead. It's fun to play a sort of follow-the-leader game. T would unexpectedly veer off the trail to have a closer look at Rancocas Creek. Once he got really close to the water and we cautioned him to be careful. He asked, "Why?" and TB explained he might slip on the leaves and get wet. The next time we veered off the path, T didn't get as close and told himself to be careful not to slip.

One thing was curious to me. There's a place along the red trail where you come out of the woods to a field. There's these huge high tension wire structures. Last year, T grabbed my hand anxiously and said, "you won't let them get me" and I assured him I wouldn't. Then I added he didn't have to worry because those things would not get him at all. So this year, as we came into this clearing, he said: "You said they won't get me." I assured him that's right, nothing will "get" him and we walked on. What makes me curious is why T would think those structures would get him? Is it something someone said to him or is it just that they look big and scary? I'll have to ask him next time.

After our invigorating walk, we decided to go a nearby McDonald's so T could play on their equipment. There's a ball pool and several slides. You have to climb up and down these convoluted paths to get to the slides. T was having a wonderful time as he had the place to himself for a few minutes.

A mother with four daughters showed up. I could see that T was interested in the children and seemed to want to interact with them but hung back shyly. When they started to enter the play equipment, I heard him explaining which path to take. He was trying to be helpful but the girls ignored him and began to play hide-and-seek. Other children showed up and I thought how much fun it would be to have one big game of hide-and-seek but they all stayed in their own groups.

Times have changed. When I was a kid, we would get up a game with whoever was available. The more the merrier, stranger or not. Oh well.

After he'd had enough play, T said he wanted to show up his new car. His dad races--although he hasn't been lately because of his responsibility as a father (not wanting to get hurt, etc.) so T has been fascinated with race cars. Well, apparently there are mini cars for kids that race--sort of like go-karts, I guess. T told his dad he'd like to race so Kennan found one of those mini cars. T has to go for training classes before he can use the car.

Meanwhile, he and his dad are going to work together to fix up the car.

When we arrived back at their house, Kennan and his dad were out working on a table. T ran to the car and proudly showed it off. I thought to take some pictures. I think Kennan was a little embarrassed because he wanted it to be all together, polished and shiny.

I see it as a work in progress. I can't wait to see it when it is all together and polished up. It'll be beautiful! We told T we were looking forward to seeing him drive the car once he's taken all his training classes!

More thoughts on mainstreaming

2011-11-20T09:45:00.000-05:00

I had some time to think some more about mainstreaming while I was waiting for Kristin to finish her ASL class. I see many benefits for most children but I'm not a big fan of mainstreaming for Deaf children. The view is that all children should be educated with their peers in the "least restrictive environment". I just am not sure this is the least restrictive environment for Deaf children.

Why?

Most Deaf kids start out at a disadvantage. They have hearing parents that don't realize at first anything is going on with their child's hearing. These children miss out on a lot of language development. Deaf parents of Deaf children and even hearing children start out signing from the get-go. The language development is there. When the hearing parents realize something is "wrong" they go to a medical professional. These professionals view deafness as a problem that needs to be fixed. In years gone by, they'd recommend lip reading to the parents, not sign language. Nowadays it's the cochlear implant. Sign language is usually not encouraged and hearing parents are not introduced to Deaf adults.

Deaf kids used to go to state schools for the Deaf almost exclusively. That's where they learned language and sort of "caught up" where they lagged. The children learned their language and culture not so much from teachers as from peers with Deaf parents. Deaf culture is a whole other big topic I could get into another time. The biggest complaint about Deaf schools, I guess, is that the education isn't comparable to hearing schools.

Okay, so now deaf children are mainstreamed into hearing schools. Some schools have a Deaf program so at some point during the day, the child at least gets to interact with other deaf kids. Many times, though, the child is mainstreamed into a school with no other Deaf students. There's a teacher of the Deaf and an interpreter, that's it. The child usually becomes attached or dependent on one or both of the adults. The adults are the ones who teach the child sign language (if the parents will allow it) and fill in so many of the gaps the child has with everything that goes on.

This has been my experience interpreting for Deaf children in a mainstream environment over the years: it's isolating and frustrating and lonely for the kids, especially when they start out in school not knowing any sign language. That puts them at a big disadvantage because they miss so much. The best lip reader gets 30% and guesses the rest. It's exhausting to watch lips moving for hours at a time. Having a cochlear implant doesn't mean the child can hear and understand everything. Teachers and interpreters have to re-teach a lot!

Deaf kids are cut off from their hearing peers due to communication barriers. Hearing kids often don't want to repeat or explain things so deaf kids are left out. There are a few kids that are interested enough to sign and explain but there's not many. In Deaf school, the environment is different because everyone signs. Some hearing kids avoided the deaf kids as if they were afraid they were going to catch "it".

Then of course, any difference can make a kid a target for bullies and teasing. That kind of stuff happens everywhere, it's true. Still, my feeling is why put a target on a kid's back?

I believe that mainstreaming Deaf children puts them in the most restrictive environment. More than once I've shared my view with the parents of students I interpreted for. The kids were miserable and not performing well. I would tell the parents privately that I thought their children would do better in a school for the Deaf--even if it meant my job would go away. A few years later, I met several of the kids who transferred to Deaf schools from hearing schools and was gratified to see how they'd flourished.

My view would be much less popular now because of the cochlear implant--implanting children is an issue that makes me froth at the mouth and is another topic I could rant on later. Hearing parents think the implant is a miracle operation; that it restores their child's hearing and ability to understand. It doesn't. There are times when the implant has to be turned off or come out and then the child is as deaf as ever. Parents are less likely to learn to sign when the child is implanted. That's unfortunate because it leaves the child at a disadvantage at home and at school.

On the up side, I did meet a teenager who was implanted successfully you could say. She came to my Deaf Culture class and spoke to us. Her speech was very clear. When it came to Q&A, though, I noticed our instructor became an interpreter for the teenager. She was unable to understand questions from the audience but at least was able to fall back on sign language. She was about to go into her senior year and was presently at a school with a Deaf program. However, the district wanted to disband that and send everyone to their home schools. The student would be alone, without Deaf peers. She and her parents were fighting the district about that. I don't know what happened.

As for Little T, because he's hearing, I think mainstreaming would benefit him at some point. Right now, there is a program at his school for kids on the autistic spectrum so he would still see his friends from those classes. Next year, T will be in third grade and will move to a new school. I'm thinking that's the ideal time to start mainstreaming him for more classes. New school, new routine to get used to. I hope that's the way it goes.

To mainstream or not?

2011-11-18T09:52:00.000-05:00

Our grandson is now in second grade! He's a very bright little boy; we've known that for years. One of his gifts is that he remembers how to get places after only being there one time. He also enjoys writing and spelling. He's been practicing letters since I can remember. A couple of years ago, I kept pads of paper on hand so he could write out words. He enjoys reading and being read to.

The issue of mainstreaming him for classes came up in a recent parent-teacher conference and his dad is understandably concerned. Little T is a very bright boy but he's also a sensitive little guy. Kennan was telling us that he's come home crying on the bus because his teacher gave him a hard time about having dirty fingernails. I think the teacher handled the situation very badly. If there was a problem, she should have written a note to Kennan.

Anyway, T is diagnosed with PDD-NOS. He likes a routine and is not happy when it's disrupted. A change can cause him to shut down. That's one of Kennan's concerns. We're half way through the school year and this would be a major change for T. Kennan's thinking it might be better to just wait until the next school year.

The next concern is that T also has apraxia of speech. When he's excited, it's hard to understand him at all. I understand Kennan's worry that other kids would make fun of him for his differences. I worry about that too. Kids can be so cruel!

I remember when I was an interpreter in two school districts. Many times I was the buffer between mean kids and my Deaf students. A couple of times in the hallways, I had to reprimand these mean kids. They mostly made fun of the Deaf kids because of their speech. I wasn't there on the playground or lunch room so I wasn't able to intervene at those times. I knew the Deaf students were very isolated and it was sad. They clung to me out of loneliness. T wouldn't even have that. He'd be alone in the classroom and I don't like to think about it.

What to do though? My view is that the teacher should be providing material to challenge him. Instead, he's bored. The law says he should be educated with his peers. The law does not see what happens to disabled kids in classrooms though. There's no heart, blood and feeling in the law.

My own opinion in this is to gradually introduce T to mainstreaming. He's already mainstreamed for art and music. I think he could try part of a language class--spelling, for instance. Or reading. He could go in to be read to or write a story. I'm not sure what his math skills are. As he gains success, he can get mainstreamed more.

Kennan seems to be leaning toward waiting until next year and I think that's okay. He's willing to let Little T try science, possibly this year. Kennan's talking with us about it and exploring his feelings about mainstreaming because he's worried and wants what's best for Little T. He's a good dad!

Thursday Thirteen and a bad day!

2011-11-17T15:33:00.000-05:00

Thursday 13

I got this idea because I just finished Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King and just started his 11/22/63.

Thirteen Favorite Stephen King novels

Pretend all these titles are underlined. It's too much work for me today! ;)

1. The Stand
2. It
3. Salem's Lot
4. Dolores Claiborne
5. Hearts In Atlantis
6. Green Mile
7. The Shining
8. The Talisman
9. The Black House
10. Carrie
11. Needful Things
12. The Eyes of the Dragon
13. Bag of Bones

Getting back to Full Dark, No Stars, Stephen King delivered four short stories of one type of horror or another. He always delivers, even though I think his writing has changed since he was hit by that van and nearly killed. I'm a devoted fan of his earlier books, which appear on the list above.

I wonder what kind of book King would write if he wrote about us.

This has just been one of those days.

It's raining so TB is in excrutiating pain.

He started to chew one of our bariatric supplements for omega three. These chews used to be soft and now they're hard like rocks. One of the caps on his teeth came out. I put my chew back because that's all I need. We don't have dental coverage and won't get any until January 1.

The last time this happened, over a year ago, TB glued the cap back in himself over and over. It worked for months and then he accidentally swallowed it and we couldn't afford a new cap. So now that tooth has been sitting there uncapped. This time we'll rob Peter to pay Paul to have the dentist glue it back in. Hopefully it will stay put permanently or at least until we can get the insurance.

I had an appointment to see the kidney specialist this morning. I'd scheduled it for soon after Kristin's class started and figured I'd be back in time for the last class to end 3 hours later. Okay, you guessed it. I waited an hour in the waiting room before being called back and then went through a lot of rigamarole only to have the doctor barely look at me, order up a bunch of tests and say repeatedly I should've been sent to an endocrinologist. I got out 15 minutes before Kristin's class ended and it's a half hour drive to the school. I was aggravated and frustrated and majorly stressed out.

The sound on our TV isn't working. We don't know why.

I forgot to take a chicken out for dinner last night so I took it out around six this morning. It's still frozen. I put it into a sink of cold water. Think it'll be thawed enough for me to cut it in an hour?

With the way today's been going, I doubt it. :P

Cats on Tuesday: Hangouts

2011-11-15T10:18:00.000-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Indigo sez, I luffs my cat tree. I lik to keep it all to myself. It has many uses!

Here Iyam in my dining area.

Here's my sleeping area. When I just want to chill, I hang out on the tube thingy.

Cubby sez, it's been so nice lately, I just lik to hang out where the sun is all shiny!

Kosmo sez, here Iyam hanging out with Kristin Bean. I gotta tellya, I don't get the way these beans sit! It's not comfable at all! Next time, I'll get Kristin to curl up like me. I think she'll like dat!

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

TB's first craft show

2011-11-13T10:20:00.001-05:00

We participated in TB's very first craft show yesterday and I thought it went very well. He was excited about it for days, alternating between a positive high and anxious worrying. The event was at his mother's retirement village and it's been a pretty big deal locally for years. When we first found out about it, we were eager to participate but didn't have the money for the table. A few weeks later, the lady who organizes the event called and said someone donated money for a table and she asked if we'd like to take it. Did we!

We went on Friday to set up for Saturday morning. There were fifty crafts people with tables.

TB makes adjustments to the stand he built to display his plaques.

TB had thought he'd be able to display everything he had but found out that the tables don't hold as much as you'd think! One solution is to get two tables. One of the other crafts persons, though, suggested an even better idea: layering with boxes. All we'd have to do is cover up the boxes with linen so people wouldn't see them.

People were so friendly and helpful! Our table was on a corner, which I thought was an ideal location. While we were setting up, another crafts person suggested we take the plaque stands and face them two ways so that customers could see some of the plaques from two different directions!

TB's mother helped out for a while in the morning. That's when most of the people came through. TB got a lot of compliments.

How did we do? I thought we did great for a first show. We learned a lot. People admire things but won't buy unless the price is right in this economy. The other crafts people told us that they never make back in labor what it cost them to create their items. They make pennies an hour when you figure it all out. We also need to know the community we're going to be in. For instance, lap top and ipod holders didn't appeal to the seniors. Bookmarks went like hotcakes mostly because they'd make good stocking stuffers. He got one order for a remote carrier and several people took his business cards.

With the money he made selling his items, TB plans to set up a business type account. The money can be used for materials he needs or to pay for tables at craft shows. This is the way to get a business off the ground and hopefully make a modest living!

Thirteen must haves in my kitchen!

2011-11-10T15:11:00.000-05:00

Thursday 13

These are in addition to the usual essentials: flour, sugar, salt, pepper, corn starch and ;) coffee.

1. Garlic: fresh, chopped, diced, and powder. I put a lot of it in everything from eggs to roasts to gravies and what have you.

2. Onions: I use fresh onions the way I use garlic. If I don't have an onion, which is a true emergency situation, I use powder. Onions go great in everything!

3. Soy sauce

4. Honey

5. Vinegar

6. Ginger

I make a lot of sweet & sour or Polynesian type sauces and marinade and that's what the above three ingredients are for. Usually I have to plan and get pineapples when I'm going to make the Polynesian sauces.

7. Worcestershire sauce: meatloaf and hamburgers!

8. Paprika

9. Sour Cream: goes great in different sauces or gravies I make

10. Emeril's: BAM!

11. Cinnamon: one of TB's favorites. I like to put it in mashed yams or on my cottage cheese

12. Bay leaves: must have for soups and stews

13. Italian seasoning: I like that they're all rolled into one. I enjoy all equally and use this one a lot too.

I wonder what everyone else would choose?

First aid for a baby bird and other stuff

2011-11-09T12:29:00.000-05:00

What do you do when a baby bird flies into your window and crashes to the ground? TB picked the poor little guy up and cradled it in his hands. We didn't know how badly the little guy was hurt and hoped it was just stunned. I found a box and we put a little water, birdseed, and some leaves into the box. TB gently put the bird down and it just did not want to let go of his finger, poor little thing!

We had to go out for a doctor's appointment. When we got back, we checked the box and it was empty. It looks like our little patient was just stunned and needed to rest before flying away! :)

We went to Good Will the other day for sheets. We were hoping to avoid buying new queen sheets just for this craft show. Good Will has everything and is a godsend for people in need. I like shopping there and don't mind the inconvenience of going through each piece of clothing to find my size. It's worth it! They also have everything from socks to bedroom sets and more. Anyway, we didn't find queen size sheets but we did find a set of three. I think they're full size but can be pieced together to make the size we need. It cost us only $6.99!

TB's been working almost around the clock to get ready for the craft show. I took a couple of pictures of the smaller items he's made and will bring.

My favorite is the mouse with cheese. TB took better pictures of his creations because he used a white backdrop. I plan on getting more pictures of the other projects the day of the craft show.

Yet again, I will need to call Medicare. TB and I want to compare health plans and hopefully go with one that has vision and dental. There are two in our area and when I discussed them with a Medicare agent named Jose they both seemed pretty good. He told me the monthly premium would be $84 for one and $89 for the other. I got a comparison report on those two companies from Medicare and was completely confused by the price breakdown. There were about a dozen breakdowns in different categories. Was I supposed to add them up? The report said the monthly premiums would be about $115 a month. What happened to the costs Jose gave me? So that is what I need to ask Medicare. What is the *real* monthly premium?

After that, we need to figure out if our doctors participate. In some cases, like with Dr. Greenbaum our bariatric surgeon, we're not going to want to switch to a stranger. Next, we have to figure out the cost of co-pays. Right now, we have no co-pay. If we switched, we'd save around $200 a month (I think) but then we'd have to figure how many times we see a specialist in a month. The specialist co-pay is $25 or $35. I think I would need a specialist once a month as long as I'm healthy. Switching might be a good option for me if it means I can get dental and vision.

Today I'm calling our doctors to see if they participate in either of these two plans. It's especially important for TB that they do!

This week I'll be thinking about whether I want to push off PTSD therapy to the new year. Susan, my therapist, insists that digging around in all these memories is supposed to dredge up all these feelings and reactions. That I've not reacted with strong emotion nor cried tells her that I'm resisting and using my defenses to stay away from painful memories.

I'm sure she's right because most of the painful stuff either feels like it's in a block of ice in the freezer or in a box stuffed into the back of a closet.

Well. Maybe what I should decide is whether it's worth trying to tackle all that PTSD stuff period. It took me over 50 years to build these walls and defenses and I don't think much will change in a 12 week program. So, I'm thinking...

And while I'm thinking, I've decided I like the Black Friday movement to boycott all but the independent businesses and stores for Christmas shopping. Big name brand stores make tons of money and don't treat their employees well. I suppose the little independents treat their employees similarly which makes me mad but I think I'd rather support them than the big chain stores who could afford to behave better toward their workers. Maybe what I'll do is just boycott everybody and make my own gifts!

On Facebook, I share pictures that resonate with me. Today there was one that pissed me off. It listed the outrageous salaries the president and members of congress earn *for the rest of their lives* and then lists the average social security salary of a senior as $12,000. And it's some of these senators and congresspersons who want to mess with social security and medicare. You'd never see them say anything about reducing *their* forever salaries!

Cats on Tuesday: Hugs make for good sleep!

2011-11-08T10:08:00.000-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Mouse and Kosmo sez, dese pikturs look like dey were taken on da same day as da ones frum last week but dey wasn't. We just liks to sleep onna bed wit Dad an Mom Bean. Dere's a good reason too!

Cubby sez, da beans lik to pet and hug us to sleep.

See? Daddy Bean awready fell asleep and I'm getting sleepy, sleepy, sleepy...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Want more cat blogging?

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The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

2011-11-06T16:06:00.000-05:00

I borrowed this book from Kristin. It's a fantasy, a genre I usually enjoy. She hadn't read it yet but said her friends raved about it. The Name of the Wind is the first in a trilogy. The reviews for it elsewhere are positive.

On the whole, though, I didn't like it very much. I did like the way it began: the setting is in an inn in a dangerous land populated with people beset by demons. The innkeeper is a quiet red-headed man, Kote. On a night populated with regulars, someone staggers in wounded with what appears to be a demon in tow. I was intrigued but then soon after a biographer called Chronicler shows up. He's figured out that Kote is really someone else, a powerful wizard called Kvothe.

Kote/Kvothe reluctantly agrees to tell his story but insists it will take three days. Get it? Each book is a day in the telling of the story. Oh dear. Here I was all about finding out this land and the demons and now we're going back into the past.

Well, the story was fairly interesting at first. A member of a travelling troupe of musicians, actors, and what have you, Kvothe journeyed around with his parents and an interesting assortment of characters. Something about a song Kvothe's parents sing enrage a mysterious group and provokes them to attack the troupe. There is tragedy and Kvothe is left to struggle on his own until he is fifteen and makes his way to the university.

For me, this is when the story really bogged down. I didn't care about Kvothe or his experiences at the university. Think of him as an arrogant and unlikeable Harry Potter, showing up other students and teachers. He makes enemies that cause him all sorts of problems. He falls for a girl who shows up, disappears, shows up, disappears...well, you get the idea. Whatever difficulty comes his way, he manages to find a way around it.

I won't be reading the second or third book. It's just not for me because I just could not care about the main character. I realize that not all main characters are likeable and that's okay with me but there has to be something that "clicks" for me to stay interested. It just didn't happen for me. I kept waiting for it to get better and it just didn't.

Whiling away the Saturday morning hours...

2011-11-05T12:31:00.000-04:00

Some Saturdays it's difficult waiting for Kristin's ASL class to end. Those are the Saturdays when she has a doctor's appointment 90 minutes after the class ends. It's difficult because on those days, I don't shop as much and have a longer period of time to wait. I don't shop as much because I don't get the perishables. I don't get perishables because I won't get home until around 3 and I don't want them sitting in the car up to 4 hours. I can't take them home and come back because it's a 45 minute trip one way. It would help if the library or lounge were open but they're both locked up tight on Saturdays! This is one of those instances where reliable and convenient public transportation would be a big help!

I brought a couple of books, this notebook I'm writing in, and a Shoprite flyer to help me pass the time. I can get some non-perishables and that will take a half hour. Writing is a great way to use time if only I could think of something to write about! ;)

One thing I've noticed this year is how my body's response has changed to temperatures. When I was heavy, my internal temperature was 10-20 degrees warmer than your average person. In winter, I would go around in a light jacket. I shunned sweaters. We kept our bedroom thermostat set to 55. I was always miserable in the summer because I always felt too hot.

When I lost all that weight two and a half years ago, my inner thermometer was still on the warm side. I remember last fall, when the temperatures were in the mid-to-upper 60s, I was comfortable wearing a tee shirt, jeans and a hoodie.

It's all different this year! Lately, we've had some truly gorgeous weather. The temperatures have been in the 60s. Now, though, I find I need to wear my heavier jacket--the one lined with thick quilting. My kids all stroll around in hoodies, like I used to.

Previously, TB set our heat between 55-62. Now we freeze at those settings. We've gone a little higher and bundle up. On an evening when it's in the 50s outdoors, you'll find me in my winter robe. TB's struggled with the change in his body temperature well over a year. He used to be like me, an internal furnace. Now he dresses like Nanook of the North: long johns, layers of shirts, hoodie (with the hood pulled up over his head) and winter robe. I should take a picture of us! I wonder what we'll look like when it really gets cold? :D

Thursday Thirteen Random Thoughts on Friday

2011-11-04T12:54:00.000-04:00

I meant to post this yesterday using the meme format but I just never got the time to sit down and do it. I'll get to that in a minute.

1. So Bank of Satan, I mean, Bank of America, is thinking about dropping the idea to charge all its customers $5 a month for using debit cards. They say it's because of all the feedback from their customers. Ha. I'd like to think it has something to do with November 5 switch-from-a-corporate-bank-to-a-credit-union day. I heard some of these other banks that were jumping on board with BOA are also reconsidering. Thank you. How much money did we spend on bailing out BOA and other banks again? They're making nice profits and what do they want to do? Squeeze more money from all of us!

2. And don't get me started on those obscene bonuses executives of other corporations bailed out are receiving!

3. Part of the reason I didn't get to blog was because TB and I were busy going to Walmart and Lowe's to get a couple of things for the craft show on November 12. This venture is costing us. It's not expensive if you've got it but we're using money that would go to other stuff. TB needed things like lemon oil, sand paper, cash box, queen size sheets ... Yes, queen size sheets. I think we're going to borrow them from his mom. They're to cover the table from top down to the floor. The lady running the event said she uses queen size sheets so it should be good.

4. I'm seeing "Blithe Spirit" with Kristin on Saturday night. She's treating me, which is really nice. She's taking drama this semester and one of the requirements is that students have to take in a play. It's been quite a while since I've seen a play...maybe almost two years. Tickets for non-students is only $10 so Bill wanted to join us. I'm looking forward to this!

5. I'm relieved that Dr. Greenbaum was pleased with how TB's doing after his most recent appointment. The abdominal wall infection cleared up and the seepage from the incision slowed down considerably!

6. We're having a hard time remembering to finger stick first thing in the morning! Our sugars have been running over 100 lately so the doctor wants us to test for two weeks before deciding what else to do. After testing several times a day for years, you'd think this would be old hat to us but I guess two years of freedom from it all has totally erased all the old habits. If we forget to get the fasting level, we go for an hour after the meal. I'm kind of bummed that the levels have been above normal.

7. Another reason I didn't have time for blogging is I had a therapy appointment. She thinks I am depressed again. Really? I think it's situational. Yes, I'm stressed. There's a lot going on. I don't think there's a pill for that. I take a nap to escape the stress.

8. Christmas decorations in October? If you looked, you could see them lurking in the background. The Halloween decorations barely came down before the Christmas ones went up. Does anyone else get depressed about this stuff? I mean, what about Thanksgiving? Can't the stores wait until "Black Friday" weekend to start all this commercialism? The arrival of Santa at malls was traditionally after Thanksgiving. Now it could be anytime in November. I was in the middle of filling out this survey for B101, a radio station in my area, and they want to know when did I want to start listening to Christmas music? Now? November 15? After Thanksgiving? I was about to say after Thanksgiving but then I thought if I have to be subjected to all this other crap now, why not enjoy the music? Holiday music does lighten my mood considerably.

9. Now I'm rating Christmas songs for B101. There sure are a lot! It doesn't seem like they all get played because in past years if feels like I just hear the same ones over and over.

10. Kristin's taking ASL 101 this semester and it's fun to practice with her. Her signs are nice and clear and her face is very expressive. I'm glad I can help her practice. She's doing very well in this class.

11. I'm still working on that Christmas song survey for B101. I wonder if they'll pay attention to my results? I wonder if anyone else had the patience to sit there and rate all those songs?

12. Why does trying to find the best insurance plan/a doctor have to be so darn difficult? We're still trying to figure out our medicare options, waiting for the information about the insurance companies to come in the mail. Also: Kristin was on the phone for about an hour trying to find doctors that would take her insurance. We'd first called the insurance company and they passed us off to the "preferred provider", whatever the hell that means. The preferred provider at least was more helpful. The representative got on the phone with the gynecologist's office and finally got them to understand who they were. The doctor's office then agreed to make an appointment for Kristin. As for the other doctor, well, we struck out and so the rep is doing a search among nurse practitioners to find an appropriate doctor. Don't ask me why nurse practitioners are doing this. I have no clue.

13. I don't think there's an end to this Christmas song list on B101. I'll probably be here tomorrow too! ;)

Cats on Tuesday: Naptime

2011-11-01T10:01:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Indigo sez, now that it's cold, effurybody likes to nap on the beans' nice warm bed!
It 'specially helps to have them in it, too!

Doesn't Cubby look comfy cozy?

Cubby sez, would you believe TB Bean is sleeping in here too? He is totally covered by blankies to keep warm. I'm helping him stay nice and toasty too!

Munchkin sez, hey, where'd my bean go? I was all comfy cozy and snuggled up against her under the covers and then she woked up! Now she's takin pikturs! Stop that, Mommy Bean, and come back and snuggle!

Of course, when it's time for TB and I to get up and carry on, our feline friends still can find more snuggle buddies.

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T09:44:00.000-04:00

Halloween has always been a fun sort of day for me. One of my earliest Halloween memories comes from spending the afternoon at my grandparents'. They'd raked up a huge pile of leaves and my brother and I spent hours jumping in it. We'd roll around or bury ourselves in the leaves and just generally made a mess. That was back in the days when people burned leaves. Burning leaves is one of those smells that brings back memories of childhood. When it was dark, my parents took us around the neighborhood to trick-or-treat.

Back in the day, my brother and I would collect quite a bit of loot. We'd go home periodically to dump the candy, sift through it, and give my parents everything we didn't want. They'd give out our rejects when they ran out of candy. I guess candy was cheap because people gave us a lot. Nowadays we have to limit our candy giving to one of those teeny tiny bite size pieces because candy's gotten so expensive. We used to have a wide roaming area for trick-or-treating on our own. Was it really safer then? It seemed to be. We didn't have as much publicity about poisoned candy or child predators out and about.

Eventually we outgrew trick-or-treating but it was still fun to dress up when giving out the candy. There were also Halloween parties to go to. I used to enjoy decorating the place. In the last few years, though, we haven't had any decorations. This season, TB made these pumpkins:

There's a little bit of glare on the windows but it's pretty clear to see they're pumpkins. There are little orange LCD lights in them and we turn them on at night. They're pretty cool!

The neighborhood is pretty beat though. I don't know if it's because we're generally older or if there is a high percentage of conservatives around. Only one or two of the houses are decorated. In the last few years, a declining number of houses leave their lights on for trick-or-treaters. Well...maybe it's the cost of candy, too. I know I said "ouch". I only got a bag or two. Less and less kids have been coming around probably because hardly anyone is giving anything out. I don't bother dressing up anymore. I do still enjoy seeing the kids' costumes.

One of my daughters was invited to a Halloween party over the weekend and she got to dress up. She had a really great time and I'm glad. The kids don't get to do a lot of fun stuff. The costume brought back memories of the years I used to dress up!

The big plan for the evening is to watch a spooky movie with whichever of the kids will be around and to give out candy to anyone who shows up.

The other plan of the day is to get TB to the surgeon's office this afternoon. His incision started leaking a bloody fluid. :P

The Green Woodworker and other things

2011-10-30T10:58:00.000-04:00

TB's hoping to get a business off the ground and wants to call it The Green Woodworker because he'll be using recycled material. He's made various things for people over the last year or so. Here is an example of what he can do. Someone with a nautical theme asked for an anchor to fill part of her wall and this is what he came up with. I think it looks beautiful! I'm sure the customer will like it too.

Here is a spice rack TB made for our cabinet. He's very creative and can make all sorts of things--magazine racks, wall hangings, ornaments, and on and on. He can customize things to what the customer wants.

What we basically need to do is get a website going with pictures of his projects. We also need to get the word out. Being able to participate in that craft show will help!

So we survived the great snow storm of October 2011. Yes, it was an event but I didn't see a reason to go all ballistic about it the way some people and news stations did. I like to watch Judge Judy and it's carried on a station out of Allentown, PA. Well, last night the show was preempted for non-stop coverage about this great storm. I guess Allentown must have gotten a lot of snow. We got just a dusting but I heard some areas got up to 8 inches of snow. The way they carried on at that station, you'd have thought the world was ending! I watched something else.

I didn't get any pictures of it but Munchkin lent a paw to "help" me fold laundry. She'd put her paw out to hold down a sleeve so I could fold the shirts properly. The only problem was, her claw kept getting stuck and I'd have to gently remove it. I tried to convince her that I didn't need any help but she insisted on assisting. ;)

On the down side, diabetes may be creeping back to TB and me. :( For the last several days, our sugars have been running higher than normal in the mornings. I contacted my doctor who said to track it for 2 weeks and if the levels are consistently high, I'll need to get some blood work done. It's very discouraging. One thing I'm trying now is cutting way back on carbs. On one of my previous visits to Dr. Greenbaum, he was concerned I was losing too much weight too fast. At that time, I added a lot more carbs to my diet to try and slow down the weight loss. The same thing happened with TB.

It's always something! :P

Snow in October

2011-10-29T15:27:00.000-04:00

Now I know there are places where snow in October is the norm...but it ain't around here. Today TB and I made our shopping run after dropping Kristin off at her class and Heidi off at work. It was pouring down rain and cold. When we got out of Walmart, the rain drops were fat and heavy and I suspected the dreaded *snow* was mixed in. After Shoprite, we were sure. We were getting ice pellets and hearing reports of accumulating snow in northern Jersey. Sigh.

I love snow. I do. But I love it in winter, not in fall or spring! Who wants to see the little kid trick-or-treaters running around in heavy coats over their costumes? That's no fun! I also miss fall and spring weather. It seems like we get a few days of each and then the rest of the year is summer or winter.

I finally gave in and turned the heat on very low last night. I was hoping to hold out until November but the weather just didn't cooperate.

One benefit to the chilliness in the house: the cats all want to nap with us. I have pictures to share on Cats on Tuesday of various members of the gang. This afternoon I had Munchkin snuggled up under the covers, Mouse on top of the covers curled by my feet, and Kosmo and Cubby lying nearby and providing their own heat. It's like having space heaters all over the bed! :)

I wonder how the people at Occupy Philadelphia will fare. I know they want to stay no matter what the weather but today will definitely be a test. With the heavy rain, cold, and snow, if they can withstand this they may actually make it through colder weather. At this point, I think I would be a fair weather protestor and would pack my stuff up and go. My body ain't what it used to be.

TB still has pain and discomfort from the hernia surgery. I've been looking at his abdomen and the redness doesn't seem to be spreading but it's also not going away. I wonder if we should be contacting the surgeon but TB says we were to do that only if the redness was spreading. Fortunately, there is another appointment with Dr. Greenbaum on Wednesday so we'll see what he says!

Assistance

2011-10-28T10:26:00.000-04:00

There have been a lot of commercials on TV directed at Medicare recipients. Our open enrollment is going on right now. This is the first time ever I can remember commercials from insurance companies as well as Medicare itself inviting people to call and get assistance figuring out which program is best for them. The insurance companies, of course, are pitching themselves. One that intrigued me is a company called Highmark, which claimed to have vision and dental coverage.

I looked all over for information about Highmark and looked through the Medicare book we were sent. There's nothing about Highmark so I called Medicare. The first thing I wanted to know was how they could claim to have vision and dental when my company claimed no one could offer it. Well, it turns out there are categories of insurance. It's all very confusing and you really do need someone helping you figure it all out.

I told the lady we needed dental and vision and she found two companies in our area that can give us that coverage. Highmark, unfortunately, is not in our area. Anyway, she is sending out all the information so we can decide whether we want to switch or not. It's going to depend on the premium, co-pays, and what doctors participate with the plans. I'm so hoping that one of these plans will fit our needs!

A very nice thing happened just now. TB was interested in participating in a craft show at his mother's senior development complex. He wanted to bring his projects over and get exposure and possibly some orders. Well, unfortunately, this was when his tooth needed to be taken care of and we just did not have the $25 fee for a table. The lady running the event just called because someone else had to bow out and instead of getting a refund, just said to keep the fee. The lady thought of TB and called to ask if he'd be interested in that table. Boy howdy! Now he is going to get busy making holiday items. The craft show is Nov. 12.

From checking around, I found out the college Kristin goes to has a health services office that treats all kinds of issues. There's a nurse practitioner there that can prescribe medications for illnesses and other issues. That would be a big help for Kristin, whose college health insurance policy covers up to $5,000. That can go real quick in some cases.

As for other forms of assistance, we don't qualify because our income is just over the limit. The programs (like heat assistance) are there for the very needy and it's a good thing they are. It's tough for us because we sure could use the help but don't qualify. So we try to find programs and places like Angel Food Ministries (which is now closed) or food pantries. There is such a demand and need for food pantries!

I have a feeling we'll have to turn the heat on this weekend. It's supposed to snow on Saturday! Snow before Halloween!

TB's post surgery visit and other stuff

2011-10-26T06:59:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was TB's one week post-op visit to Dr. Greenbaum. Everything seemed fine except ... there is a redness all around the incision. It didn't look like an infection and didn't feel hot to the touch, just warm. It sort of looked to me like a yeast infection, the kind TB got after his shoulder surgeries. Dr. Greenbaum, though, said it's an abdominal wall infection (cellulitis) and drew lines around the areas with his pen. He prescribed an antibiotic and said if the red areas spread, TB would have to come to the emergency room and get admitted for IV antibiotics. Since then, we've been watching the red areas closely. Boy, it's always something and it's exhausting!

It's cold inside the house. Everyone's wearing hoodies and sweaters and (in TB's case) blankets. It doesn't seem fair because outside it's actually rather nice. I open the windows to try and let the warm air in. In the summer time, it's always been hotter inside than outside so I'm not sure why the sun isn't warming our house up more. We won't turn on the heat yet because it costs too much. The rates jumped up a few months ago.

Is it me or has the fall colors been muted the last few years? When we first moved to NJ, I remember the trees being so vibrant with reds, oranges and yellows. I loved to go for a drive and just look at the gorgeous colors. One year we took a trip to northern Jersey to see the colors at peak. Lately, though, the colors have been so subdued I hardly notice the change. The leaves aren't strikingly beautiful. The first year it happened I thought it was because we hadn't gotten enough rain. The next year we did and then I thought, maybe it needs to be colder.
This year I just wonder if it's my mood or my age. Taste declines with age and so does hearing. Does the perception of fall colors decline too? I wonder.

Cats on Tuesday: Mine!

2011-10-25T10:08:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

What do you want with a heart shaped box, Munchkin?

Munchkin says, Ida know. All I know is ... it's MINE!

Okay, she's a little bossy and possessive but who can resist that face?

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

More Miscellaneous Stuff

2011-10-24T11:02:00.000-04:00

This little town I live in has been around since the Revolutionary War. TB found a website once that told him this town has had its share of good times and bad. I think it hit a height in the 1920s if I remember correctly. It was almost like a resort town. The natural lake reflects trees, sky, and any buildings like a mirror. Wikipedia says the median income for a family is around $45,000. I can tell you, with the cost of things these days that income isn't so great.

When we moved here almost 10 years ago, it didn't seem so run down. It was a middle class town with a barber, beauty parlor, library, grocery store, a few clothes stores, a shoe store, an ice cream parlor, a couple of fast food joints and too many auto parts stores.

There are two shopping centers not far from each other. One is the place everyone goes and the other is an eyesore. The owner of the eyesore gets some kind of tax breaks or something on the losses from the place and so he has no interest in improving things. At one point everyone wanted the place condemned including the town government. Somehow it didn't happen. The derelict lot is still there, bleak and ugly as ever.

We have a homeless population that has grown over the years. Many of them live in the woods. There's a hotel in town that provides shelter for the lucky ones.

There's supposed to be a couple of drug nests in town. I know where these places are and don't go there. I've never seen drugs bought or dealt anywhere I've been.

There's nothing for young people to do around here except go to the library. The nearest movie theater is about 20 miles away; same with the nearest mall. Luckily, we do have doctors and a couple of dentists here. Otherwise, we'd have to travel about 20 miles to find one.

I was ranting about the lack of public transportation around here. You really need a car to get anywhere, including the grocery store. Not everyone (including us) is lucky enough to live in walking distance of places we need.

Like I said, it just seemed like a middle class town when we moved here. Now, though, it's gotten older, sadder and poorer...like us.

I thought about boycotting Walmart and grocery stores but I don't think I'd be able to. With all the money those places make, they could treat their employees better. Part-timers get no benefits and these places like to schedule their employees up to an hour below full time just so they don't have to give them benefits. Walmart's benefits for full time employees will be going up as much as 60%. People don't make that much in those places. They'd have to decide between eating or paying bills or the health insurance. The other thing they do is suddenly cut the hours of their employees and hire a whole bunch of new ones. Employees can't be sure from week to week how long they'll be working.

If there was a Boycott Walmart day or week, I'd do it. I don't think I'd do it on my own because it would hurt me and my family and I don't want that. I can save a lot of money on groceries getting things at Walmart. That savings goes into our account for emergencies and things we need. It's about $5 or so here and there but it adds up!

As for boycotting the grocery stores...they all engage in this practice with their employees. I can shop less at grocery stores but there are still some things they carry I can't get elsewhere.

I wonder if there's another effective way of letting the grocery stores know I'm not pleased with them?

TB's recovering from his tooth extraction and hernia operation. He's very sore and hasn't much appetite and is sleeping a lot, but I guess that's to be expected. He sees his surgeon tomorrow. He has another tooth that is on its way out and it would be nice to save it but I doubt we can afford the root canal. So it goes.

The state (lack thereof) of public transportation around here

2011-10-22T11:25:00.001-04:00

We're not a well-to-do community by any means. Not everyone (gasp!) can afford a car. The trouble is, around here, there's little to no access to any alternate means of transportation.

When I first moved here almost 10 years ago, I was shocked to learn that there's absolutely no taxi service. I'd moved from Long Island where there seems to be hundreds of cabbies going anywhere you needed them to go. I asked why no cabs would come to our town and I got two answers. One was because there are some areas with high drug usage (yeah? I bet there's lots of places like that in New York too! What, New York cabbies are braver or something?) and the other was because this is a poor area. Ahem. Not a lot of money to be made here. It seems unreasonable and outrageous to me. My son and I have both been approached by people we barely know, asking for a ride here there or home because there was no other way to get there. We both gave rides to those elderly or frail women but come on! They deserve better than to have to beg rides!

Having a cab available sure would have been helpful for us today. TB was having his tooth pulled at 8 and Kristin needed to be in her class 40 minutes away by 9. That was okay but ... how would TB get home? The class would go until 11:30. Bill was available to bring TB home if it could be done by 9:45. Then Bill would have to go to work. Heidi was already at work. Luckily, TB's tooth pulled without complications and so Bill was able to bring him home. If it had gone the other way, TB would have had a long uncomfortable wait. Either that, or I would have had to go in and pull Kristin from her class. Meanwhile, if we had taxi service, then all TB need do is call a cab if his appointment ran late. Good thing it didn't!

And the buses! They run once every two hours if you're lucky and then you have to have transportation to the bus stop. If we had no car, first we'd have to walk a mile for the little bus that runs around town and take it to the grocery store where Kristin works, hoping the arrival time will more or less coincide with the big bus that runs up the main drag. The schedule usually doesn't match and so you end up having to wait somewhere for a couple of hours coming or going.

To save gas and wear and tear on her old car, Heidi drives to the bus stop and then catches the big bus to the grocery store where she works. If she works from 8 to 3, she has to catch the 7 a.m. bus (which is fine) but then there's no bus in the afternoon until almost 5.

Kristin is one of the few kids around who has no car (can't afford one and we can't afford to get one for her) and can't drive (can't afford the insurance and neither can we) so I take her to her ASL class at the campus located 20 or 25 miles from home. With the cost of gas, there's no way I'd drop her off and go home like I do when she has classes at the local campus.

I called the bus company which was a total waste of time. I called the township and wasted more of my time. That kind of response is just one of the reasons I am so mad and fed up.

Our Hospital Visit & PTSD Work

2011-10-20T16:04:00.000-04:00

I saw this quiz on Facebook and decided to try it. Here are my results:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Low
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Low
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

So it's nice to know I'm just moderately nuts in some areas! I'm surprised there was nothing for anxiety and depression. Those are the areas my diagnoses lie. Anyway...

Starting backwards, today I got up and was off and running almost right away. TB wasn't bleeding and was in relative comfort so I took Kristin to school and then went for my therapy appointment. For the last month, I've been working a program used by the military to diminish symptoms of PTSD. I've never been to war but it seems I have PTSD from growing up in another kind of war zone, the home of two alcoholic angry deaf adults.

One thing I've been working on is called "stuck points". They are areas where I've given myself an incorrect message because of something that happened to me. An example is when my mom found my writing, read it, and went all ballistic all over me. That's the incident. The message I tell myself, writing is bad; writing is not safe. The feeling is shame. There are hundreds of these "stuck points". Another one is where my parents were fighting and beating on each other. In terror, my brother and I ran from the house to our neighbor's. What I told myself is that I should have been able to stop the fight and didn't; I ran away instead. The feel is inadequacy.

With that example, my therapist wanted to know what I would tell the younger me. I thought about it and said I would say I'd done the best I could and it wasn't right that I should be put in that position. The therapist pointed out something I wasn't aware of. She said my affect was that of an orator and that I was disconnected from what happened. She said through all this, she's never seen me cry. She seemed surprised.

I told her there's no point in crying. It doesn't change anything and all you get for it is swollen eyes, hitching breath and a stuffy nose. She wondered when was the last time I cried and I can't remember. I'm sure it was after Rich died but then after that--say the last 5 years--I just have no clue.

The therapist thinks I've got repression going on, a defense mechanism to protect myself against painful feelings. That doesn't surprise me. I know I can detach from my feelings very easily. I also have a wall up that no one gets through. Will any of this change? After all, I'm 56 years old and have been using these defenses my whole life. Still, I have to try.

I would like to feel whole. I've often heard Dr. Phil tell parents that if they fight in front of their kids or abuse them or expose them to bad things, it changes the child forever. It's true. My brother and I were forever changed.

TB's surgery was a success! The procedure was done at the same hospital where we had our duodenal switches, Lourdes Medical Center. We really are impressed with this hospital and continue to be in spite of the mix-up in what time we were supposed to report. TB originally had an appointment with his orthopedic doctor in the morning because surgery was to be in the afternoon. However, we were told initially to report at 9 and so he had to cancel his appointment. Then they called back after it was too late and said oops, surgery is in the afternoon, come in at 11.

I had an up and down experience with the cafeteria. I went in at 11 to get a cup of coffee and found the door was locked. The vending machines outside didn't have coffee so I checked the time to see when I could come back. As I was doing that, the manager of the place saw me and said although the place was closed for half an hour, I could wait there. "Could I buy a cup of coffee?" I wondered. She smiled and said, "You can HAVE a cup of coffee." Ah! What a nice person. After TB went up for surgery I returned for a bite to it. There were no prices listed anywhere and no grilled cheese so I took a chance on a single slice of pizza and an iced tea to mix my protein with. It cost me just under five dollars!!!! For those two bitty things! Yikes, I felt like I was on Jersey Turnpike! So they got back they money for that first coffee. ;)

Dr. David Greenbaum did the surgery so we knew TB would be in good hands. Dr. Greenbaum also did our duodenal switches. He called me in the waiting room to tell me everything had gone well and TB would be back downstairs for me to see him in about an hour. Because TB missed his appointment with the orthopedic doctor, Dr. Greenbaum refilled his script for one of his pain medications.

So TB is holding up pretty well. His next big adventure is getting his tooth pulled on Saturday.

Miscellaneous Stuff

2011-10-19T09:49:00.000-04:00

Today TB is having hernia surgery. He's not allowed to eat or drink anything, not since midnight last night, and so he's pretty out of it. Originally we were supposed to go to the hospital at 9. TB was supposed to see his orthopedic doctor and had to cancel that appointment. Then around 7:30 the hospital called and changed the admission time to 11. It was really annoying because TB needed a refill of his pain medications.

It's so hard to watch him suffer. I'm helpless because there's nothing I can do. His tooth is especially causing a lot of agony and he'll chew a percocet and put it into the broken area. Sometimes that helps relieve the pain but not always. Then there is the chronic pain he has from busting his hump for an ungrateful employer all those years. Funny...you think you're doing the right thing by working hard but then you learn quick what a mistake it was when you get kicked to the curb after becoming disabled. I wish surgery would help the pain in TB's back but the doctors say it won't.

I think Occupy Philadelphia at least is becoming more organized and trying to set goals. I gave feedback about which issues I felt were most important and what I thought protestors ought to do about it. I hope they hear back from a lot of people. I really want to see this movement take off. One thing I would like to see is lobbying for healthcare for everyone. Poor people should be able to buy into a policy they can afford. I'd also like to see that fair trade act repealed--the one that gives credits to businesses allowing them to outsource. Even if we can't bring back the jobs already lost, let's save future jobs from going overseas. I've heard about another company laying off all their workers and setting up in the far East.

I heard the tail end of a story about a possible COLA for social security recipients--the first one in years--of about 3%. For a person now receiving about $1,000 a month it would mean an extra $30. Wow! With it, I can order a monthly supply of the bariatric vitamins TB and I need. Or we could get one half tank of gas. Something is better than nothing, which is what we've been having.

Speaking of bariatric surgery, TB and I had our annual visits with the surgeon and we're both doing great! I've lost 87% of my excess weight and TB 76%. My calcium was a little low so my PTH (thyroid) level was high. I need to take more calcium, no biggie. We both were low on Vitamin D so we need to boost the levels we take. No biggie, just means the vitamins will be a little more expensive.

Kristin decided to carry a double major. She met with an advisor to talk about what she needs to take to fulfill all the requirements. Kristin already had a schedule for herself mapped out for the near future and had questions written down so she wouldn't forget what to ask. I was really impressed with her organization!

Munchkin may be a bit of a bully but we still love her. One of the things I love most is when I nap or sleep. She will go under the covers and snuggle with me. I fall asleep stroking her fur. It's very soothing. The cats like to hang out on our bed. Many times we have five of them lounging around and it seems to be the one time they all get along!

Time to get ready to go to the hospital!

Cats on Tuesday: The Bully

2011-10-18T10:28:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

What a sweet and innocent looking kitty! Who would guess she could be such a holy terror?

The gang generally gets along and tolerates each other except ...

There is one who always chases and tries to attack the two smallest ones, Indigo and Cubby.

Indigo sez, I can usually hold my own but I might have had a scratch near my eye. It's been watering and I need to go to the vet to make sure there's no infection! Mom and Dad Bean fink Munchkin may have had somefing to do with it all.

They also fink Munchkin bited my tail and caused the infection I had!

Guilty or innocent? Bully or not? We just go by the evidence and that is: Munchkin is the only one who chases and tries to fight with Indigo and Cubby. She's also been known to mix it up with Kosmo and Mouse.

Separating them just seems to cause more jealous behavior.

We don't know what else to do other than to keep loving Munchkin up.

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Sarum by Edward Rutherford

2011-10-17T15:54:00.000-04:00

I just finished Sarum and I have to admit I rushed it, skimming through the last few sections. I enjoyed London so much so I'm kind of disappointed with this book.

I loved the first section, which dealt with the prehistoric era. I was hooked and drawn in by Rutherford's descriptions of what he thought prehistoric life was like in the area. I was especially fascinated with the Stonehenge section. I enjoyed and remembered all the characters, like Nooma the mason who worked on Stonehenge. The first part of the book dealt with Old Sarum which was located up on a hill.

The second part dealt with New Sarum and that's where I ran out of steam for the book. What was it? I just didn't find the characters as inspiring. There was a lot of detail about cloth manufacturing that I found boring. Some of the historical events, like the outbreaks of plague, I remembered from London. Sometimes I found these interesting. Other times--like with the Round Heads of the Oliver Cromwell era (these were really rigid and religiously intolerant Presbyterians)--I was just bored.

I still other books by Rutherford to read. I'll wait a while before I start one and hope for the best.

TB's Tooth and Health Insurance

2011-10-17T09:59:00.001-04:00

Today TB's got an appointment with the dentist he used to see before we lost our insurance. Except for the dental schools, of all the places we called, this dentist had the least expensive cost for extracting a tooth. TB prayed that the dentist would be compassionate and let us have a payment plan so that maybe he could save the tooth but I don't have a good feeling about it. Maybe we should have gone to the dental school instead, I don't know. Maybe it's better to go locally because of the cost of gas.

All this plus the fact that my kids are uninsured or under-insured reminded me of another cause I got involved with after Rich had heart failure and needed surgery in the 1990s. At that time, Bill Clinton was in office and his wife Hillary Clinton was working with a group of people to put together a comprehensive plan to help people with little or no insurance. It was an uphill battle.

I marched around on union picket lines in a couple of places. They were picketing not for wages but because management wanted to cut benefits. While on one of these lines, I happened to get interviewed by a radio reporter and told him our story. The next thing we knew, we were part of a story for U.S. News and World Report and we got interviewed for a segment of the David Brinkley Hour.

So here's my feeling about health insurance--in a country as wealthy as ours, there is no reason anyone working should be uninsured. If a person is disabled or very poor, they're covered by Medicaid. The working poor and lower middle class and others aren't always covered by insurance and don't make enough to afford insurance premiums. There should be a program for these people to get decent health insurance. Insurance is cheaper when people are grouped. So there should be a large pool of college students and of part-time employees. But they're stuck with expensive individual policies.

I supported Mrs. Clinton's plan. It failed.

I supported President Obama's plan, especially the public option. That would have gotten insurance for my kids. It failed. What passed is, in my opinion, not particularly helpful to anyone.

Why can't we get reform for health insurance? I think it's because we people have no power. I think to get anything positive done you need lobbyists and they cost money. Otherwise, the drug companies and insurance companies will just continue to heavily influence Congress.

I feel pretty jaded about trying to get changes to make life better for us. But I continue to try because I can't sit by and do nothing.

Later: Well...that was nice. It cost $60 of the money scraped together for the visit to pull the tooth for the dentist to look at an Xray he brought and decide not to do anything because the tooth is still infected. Their idea of "working with us" and "payment plan" involves getting a credit card. Ha! First of all, our credit is virtually destroyed and second of all we either might not get the amount we need OR the monthly payments might be too high for us.

TB is depressed and upset. He's been praying and praying for relief from the pain and to get his tooth fixed or extracted. I'm just mad. This is one of those days I think God is with the 1% or He's the CEO of Bank of America.

I've heard from other people so I know we're not alone suffering like this. I feel like the downtrodden people in the movie Network who got sick of it all and opened the windows to yell, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." A futile thing to do, but it helps with the anger.

Golden Oldies and Classic Rock

2011-10-16T11:55:00.000-04:00

Wow, I've made it into the age of dinosaurs when it comes to listening to music! I say that only because I sort of arrogantly thought that about music from my grandparents' and parents' era. My parents didn't actually listen to any one kind of music. They just loved anything that had a strong beat they could dance to. When I was much younger I remember the "oldies" stations were playing music from the '40s, lots of big band stuff. I actually liked it but would never admit that to my friends. The music now relegated to oldies and classic rock is now the music I listened to as a teenager and young adult!

In the '70s and through the early '80s, I loved to listen to Casey Kasem's Top 40 program. He would broadcast the forty hits of the country every week. I loved tracking the songs climbing up and down the charts. Recently, I discovered that one of my stations plays a recording of Kasem's show on Saturday mornings. On our very busy day yesterday, we got to listen to some of the hits from the week of October 20, 1979.

I remember three songs specifically because I hadn't heard them in ages: "Tusk" by Fleetwood Mac, "Dirty White Boy" by Foreigner and "Lonesome Loser" by the Little River Band. I was really delighted to hear these songs again, particularly "Tusk" because I always thought it was cool they played with a marching band.

It did bring up a pet peeve about the stations I listen to though. They play the same songs over and over. I always hear "Dreams" or "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac. I always hear "Urgent" or "Head Games" by Foreigner. I can't remember the last thing I ever heard by Little River Band.

Why is that? I think it's because the play lists are preprogrammed and are on a CD or something that the DJs use over and over. I remember when DJs used to play vinyl and they could choose what they wanted to play, including deep cuts off the album. It just isn't that way with the stations I listen to.

I miss it! I wish the DJs had DVDs of the various groups and would play different songs from the times. As it is now, I listen to one until I'm sick of the play list and then I switch to the other. When I'm sick of both of them, I drag out all my DVDs and listen to them.

Bring variety to oldies and classic rock stations!

Stretching the dollar on a busy day

2011-10-15T15:59:00.000-04:00

Saturday's become our major shopping day since the fall semester began. Kristin is taking a course at the community college campus about 40 minutes away. It so happens that Walmart and Shoprite are along that route so we drop her off first and then go on our merry way.

Gas prices have gone up at least a dollar a gallon since last year and that's really hurt us. We only have so much to budget for gas and can't really change the amount so we're getting a lot less and have to curtail our driving quite a bit. I am really ticked about the gas prices. Maybe that's another sign I would bring to Take Over Philly. The prices go up, come down, and then jump up again for no rhyme or reason other than (I suspect) corporate greed by the oil companies. I don't mean the jump you get around the holidays. I mean like what happened in recent weeks. The price of gas went down fifty cents, to around $3.13. Now it's jumped back up again. Why? Who knows!

I collect the grocery flyers and look through them carefully to see who's got the best price on what I need. Usually Shoprite has decent deals on meat (although prices have gone up) but not this week. No chicken or ribs or sausage or anything. However, at Acme (the store closest to us), they had a 4/$19.99 meat sale going on.

We usually skip Acme when we shop because they have the highest prices around. The 4/$19.99 special is okay though. The packages are supposed to be enough to feed a family of four. Before our surgeries, this wouldn't have worked for us. TB and I eat as if we were one person and so the meals do make it. We just don't have left overs. We're able to get ground beef, whole chickens, sausage and ground turkey.

So with the flyers I have, I make lists. I haven't been clipping manufacturer coupons because they really haven't helped me. Most of them are for products I don't use. When they are for something we us, I find the store or generic brand is cheaper. I do use store coupons though. As long as we make a $25 purchase, we can save money on things like deli cheese, produce, sometimes meat or shrimp, and dairy stuff.

Walmart's been a place to save money since they opened a refrigerated section. They are not a super Walmart because they don't have meat or produce but they have just about everything else. Their canned, bottled, and boxed foods tend to be less expensive than Shoprite. Another thing is, they match prices from other stores. I haven't taken advantage of that yet mainly because it would be a little confusing. I'd be bringing five flyers to show them that red cabbage is blah-blah at Stop & Shop, tuna is 10/$10 at Shoprite, bread is so much at Super Fresh and so on. But as prices for food goes up and our budget has no more wiggle room, I'll have to do that.

I'm sure a lot of people have to shop this way these days.

We had a busier day today because we needed to stop for TB's cat scan appointment. This is another test the doctor ordered to figure out why he had so much protein in his urine. Hopefully this will explain it.

Which bright lights decided this?

2011-10-14T10:20:00.000-04:00

Way back when, I'd asked our Medicare Part D counselor about dental insurance since Medicare didn't cover it. He answered that getting dental insurance was way expensive and it would be cheaper just to pay out of pocket. Maybe he's was right then but we sure need the insurance now. I called Medicare to find out if they'd cover Ted's broken tooth since it's now an emergency and they said no.

I next called our secondary. Sometimes when the primary doesn't cover a service, the secondary will pick it up. That's when I discovered the dismaying news that the secondary is not allowed to. If it's not covered by Medicare, none of the secondaries can pick it up. I asked why and the representative could only tell me that's what the people in Washington decided.

Sure. These are the same people who enjoy full coverage of any type.

It makes no sense to exclude dental and vision from the elderly and the disabled. All of us need cavities filled or teeth pulled or root canaled or what have you. When a tooth goes bad and becomes infected, that infection can spread to the heart. That would lead to an emergency room visit and probably a hospital stay, maybe even death, and sure that's more costly than providing for routine visits so it never gets to that point. As for glasses, what's up with that? The older you are the more likely you are to need glasses. What are fixed income people supposed to do if there's no generous Lion's Club in the neighborhood? Drive around half blind? I guess so.

Hearing aids aren't covered either. As we get older, our hearing diminishes. TB is already pretty much deaf in both ears. Luckily he got hearing aids before he became totally disabled. I guess everyone else just has to take ASL classes. :P

If I ever get to the Take Over Philly protest, my signs would be about health insurance reform. I would like to see President Obama's original health bill passed but I think that will never happen unless there's a major rising. The Take Over movement has the right idea but they're not focused. Everyone's protesting different things and there's no real unity. People are just fed up with everything but I don't know that change can come of something that generic. :P

My 13 ways to relax

2011-10-13T10:48:00.000-04:00

Thursday 13

Thirteen Ways I Relax

1. Napping
2. Blogging
3. Reading
4. Listening to music
5. Walking
6. Coffee in the afternoon
7. Turning in early
8. Praying
9. Sitting on the swing in our back yard
10. Turn in early at night and sleeping
11. Playing Lexulous/other Facebook activities like poking & commenting
12. Surfing the web
13. Trying to count blessings

Sleep turns up more than once on my list because it's my favorite way to escape from stress since I can't eliminate it. I don't know if I dream often or not. I remember snippets of dreams and they're not bad or scary. Right now, I can fall asleep pretty easily. It's especially helpful when I'm having a fibro day and am in pain. When I'm sleeping I don't feel the pain and I'm not worrying about how we're going to make it.

Blogging is a good way to let off some steam!

Reading is another means of escape. When I can fall into a good book, I'm not thinking about my problems.

Music lifts my spirits. If I'm feeling really tense, I'll play hard driving rock music. Most of the time, though, I want to listen to classical music to relax.

Coffee seems like a weird thing to put on a list about relaxing, doesn't it? I have it there though because it's a temporary mood elevator for me. I don't know how or why it works that way for me but it's really helpful.

I love playing Lexulous on Facebook. I also get a kick out of poking and being poked by friends. I also like Facebook because I can stay in touch with friends and family even though I can't travel and see them. Surfing on the computer is fun and can be really interesting too.

Praying and counting my blessings hasn't been working too well to relieve stress lately but I figured I'd put them down anyway.

Now I think I'll go read some articles recapping last night's Survivor episode.

Everything is Going Up But My Income Blues

2011-10-12T15:42:00.000-04:00

So there was a report out a couple of days ago that people's income has fallen even further since the recession "ended". It was no surprise to me and just pissed me off the rest of the hour. I guess I shouldn't watch the news with my coffee anymore. :P Well, what is the reason for that since we are in recovery? One is that there are more and more unemployed and underemployed people. Another is that hardly anyone is getting a raise anymore. Still another is that the price of everything is going up.

I noticed my grocery bill was getting higher although the stuff I was getting was basically the same. Lately I've been reading the receipts carefully to make sure I'm getting the sale prices. If it ain't on sale, I don't get it. Of course, with some things I have no choice, like eggs. For the five of us, I get 18 eggs and now they're $4.19! Sometimes I get a coupon for them and I use them whenever I do. Another is coffee. I used to be able to get coffee at Walmart for $5.99. Now it's closer to $10. That's for the larger size. I used to get hamburger meat for $.99 and whole chickens for $.69. Now they're $2.49 and $1.99 on sale respectively.

It's not just food. Our electric bill jumped up because they were allowed a rate increase. Our health insurance (the secondary to Medicare and prescription plan) both nearly doubled.

All of that has just about trashed our budget. It used to be that we had enough for the bills and expenses with a little left over to save or for unforeseen expenses. Now we have just enough to scrape by. We're supposed to have three to six months of income saved in case of an emergency; we don't even have a week's worth saved after the hits our savings took from the vet and the bankruptcy attorney.

So now we come to TB's tooth. We shared with our therapist about going to the dental schools in Newark or Philly and she came up with someone who might be able to help us who is closer. There is also a dentist that TB used to see. This afternoon I began calling around. The place the therapist suggested told me an extraction would cost between $160-$400. For one tooth.

The doctor TB used to see would charge between $100-$190 depending on how complicated the procedure is. For one tooth.

I think it wasn't so long ago you could get a tooth pulled for less than $100.

The dental schools might be free but this time around TB wants someone who has experience, not a student, to mess with his broken tooth.

Now I'm going to be checking into all the secondary health plans to see if any offer dental or vision. I think it's ridiculous that they don't. When you can't take care of your teeth and they go bad, it's dangerous. When you can't get glasses and have to drive on the road with ten year old prescriptions, it's bad.

It might be tiresome that all I do lately is rant and rave about depressing stuff like this but this is my life right now and I can't hide it anymore.

Rock on, Take Over Wall Street and Take Over Philadelphia and Take Over Wherever Movements!

Cats on Tuesday: Cubby is much better!

2011-10-11T10:04:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Cubby sez, Hai, effurybuddy! I yam feeling muuuuuuuuuuch better now! Mommy Bean wrote what happened to my tail here.

Today Mommy Bean wanted to take sum pikturs of me. I was feelin better so I let hers take sum pikturs.

I lived in Daddy Bean's office for about a month. Pwease excuse the mess. Daddy Bean made me a nice comfy cozy little nest and I had all my needs and wants taken care of.

Now, even though I'm so much better I still like to hang out in my comfy cozy li'l nest. Daddy doesn't mind at all!

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

A Bag of Apples

2011-10-10T10:02:00.000-04:00

The growing nationwide protests against corporate greed is beginning to remind me of the protests of the '60s and '70s. I remember the news coverage but wasn't really sure what to think. I was too young and immature to really come to any kind of conclusions about them.

In 1976, though, I was 21 and participated in a demonstration and sit-in at the then HEW (Health, Education & Welfare) building in Washington, D.C. The protest was because the regulations for the Vocational Rehabilitation Act of 1973 were still unsigned. This was a law that was supposed to stop discrimination against the disabled in the educational and workplace settings. It was a good law but couldn't be enforced because the HEW Secretary hadn't signed the regulations. After all these years, I don't remember why he hadn't and I don't remember why he wouldn't when the "oversight" was pointed out to him. The disabled community got fed up--pretty much the way the dwindling middle class has become fed up.

I was working at the National Center for Law and the Deaf. My boss was the executive director. We had lawyers working there that took on all kinds of cases, mostly having to do with discrimination. My boss was more on the advocacy end. Anyway, he called a meeting with all of us and explained the upcoming protest. If we decided to go along, we'd be picketing outside the building--with the possibility of going in and sitting in overnight or for days--as long as it would take to get Secretary Califano to sign the regs. My boss said it was all intended to be peaceful but that there was a good chance we'd be arrested for trespass if we sat in.

I decided to go. I'd seen my parents suffer discrimination almost everywhere and some of the experiences were pretty humiliating. I knew other Deaf people also were oppressed and had been discriminated against. I was young and the thought of jail didn't scare me.

There were hundreds and hundreds of people at the protest. Hundreds were blind; hundreds were in wheelchairs; hundreds had all sorts of disabilities. We carried signs and marched. At some point, I saw my boss meeting with the leaders of other groups. He came over to us and said a group was going to go into the building. Two Deaf employees and I volunteered to go in with my boss and the others. The leaders of the other groups were asking for their own volunteers. There was at least 20 of us going in.

When we got to Secretary Califano's office, my boss asked to meet with him. Mr. Califano's secretary looked at us with an expression of amusement and confusion. She informed us that Mr. Califano was out. Of course. So we all sat down on the floor.

It was later in the afternoon. I'd only brought my purse and a jacket with me. I was wondering if I should have brought more stuff...like food. The two Deaf employees, Susan and Fred, were friends of mine and sat down next to me. We spent the next few hours just chatting. I saw my boss conferring with Deaf leaders Fred Schreiber and T.J. O'Rourke. Around 4:30, the secretaries packed up and left for the day. We were on our own--or so we thought.

Within the hour, the police had shown up. Until then, we'd freely gone to get a drink of water from the fountain or go to the bathroom. The police wouldn't let us anymore, except for once an hour. For some reason, they wanted us to take our shoes off.

My boss used the phone--this was before cell phones!--to call a pay phone outside. He and the other lawyers had previously arranged this system to be used in case we went into the building. He could get news from the street this way. Around 7, he asked one of the lawyers to order pizza for everyone in the building.

About an hour later, the lawyer called from the pay phone and told my boss the pizza delivery guy had been stopped at the door. No one would be allowed in. Well, of course we should have anticipated that.

Fred Schreiber and T.J. O'Rourke were both excellent storytellers and that was our entertainment for the evening. Trying to tell a Deaf story in writing just loses too much in translation. There's a lot of facial expression and feeling that goes into the stories. You have to see it to appreciate it.

I remember one tense incident though. Schreiber's wife showed up with his prescriptions and the police wouldn't let her come in. They didn't want to bring the medication themselves either. We found out, of course, by a call from the pay phone. I remember my boss got on the phone with the policeman in charge and arguing with him. Politics and position mean everything, though, because Schreiber got his medication when my boss said, "Do you really want the president of the National Association of the Deaf to possibly die because you wouldn't let him have his heart medication? There's press outside all over the place!"

It was hard to get comfortable because we had to sit or lie down on the floor. The lights stayed on. The air conditioning was turned up full blast. We knew all of this was designed to make us uncomfortable and leave. The thing is, we felt totally committed to our cause. We'd tried to get the regs signed the proper way and had been confounded time after time. All around the country, the disabled and advocates had gotten fed up. There were sit-ins in other HEW buildings as well.

Around 2 in the morning, I rolled my coat up in a ball and went to sleep. My two friends curled up on either side of me. We didn't sleep soundly but we got some rest.

I woke up around six the next morning and sat up sleepily. The elevator doors opened and an elderly man stepped out. I recognized him as an employee of HEW. He approached us with a bag in his arms. The police standing guard didn't really notice him right away. When they did, they moved on him and that's when he threw the bag into the room with us.

Apples began bouncing everywhere as a couple of cops grabbed that elderly man and threw him against the wall. Other cops ran into the room, grabbing for the apples and snatching them out of the hands of the protestors. It was the craziest thing I'd ever seen. I think the cops got all the apples back. They pushed the elderly man into the elevator and I had no idea what was going to happen to him. After the whole thing was over, I found out he'd been ejected from the building. He'd heard we had no food and had bought the apples from a produce stand.

We didn't stay inside the building very long after that. Too many protestors had health issues and so we ended up leaving.

As a result of the protests, though, Secretary Califano signed the regulations. I felt like I'd been a part of something important.

I've been thinking about going down to Philadelphia just for the day. My sitting in days are over but I can do other things.

One thing that made me mad this morning was a sign I saw about how teachers making $50,000 (which ain't a lot) are being asked to take a salary cut of 20% but God forbid we should ask millionaires to pay 3% more in taxes. That totally gets me. It's not just teachers--it's a lot of workers from what used to be the middle class. They have to take cuts in salary either directly or by paying more health insurance costs. Yet Congress has all their benefits paid for 100%, enjoys a healthy salary and retirement. Don't even get me started on the benefits and perks corporate millionaires enjoy! I can think of a couple of signs I'd make!

Some days...

2011-10-09T15:32:00.000-04:00

...I feel pretty bitter about the way things are going for TB and me. Some days I feel like God's not there or "has better things to do" than bother with the likes of me. Sometimes it feels like he's the CEO of Bank of America. Then there's other days when I do feel God's love or I use these little tricks to cheer myself up or help me cope. These would be things like, "It could be a lot worse", "a lot of people are having hard times too", "count your blessings", or I'll read my favorite poem by Langston Hughes, "Mother to Son."

Some people just seem to be loaded down with more burdens and bad luck, though, and that's us. My mother thinks a curse was set on my family because my dad said he was an atheist. I don't believe that although some days it sure does feel like there's a curse. It's one thing after another and it's relentless, these things that happen to us. As if all that wasn't bad enough, both TB and I lost our spouses. It just goes on and on.

The protest movement against government and big business has been spreading across the country. It really lit up some anger in me because of all the corruption and greed in big business. For them it's only about the bottom line and profit, and it doesn't matter when it hurts the little guy--like when government decided to give business a big break and allow them to outsource jobs starting over 10 years ago.

TB and I have worked hard since we were teenagers. We went above and beyond because we were of a generation that took pride in what we did and doing our best for the boss. We set aside money in annuities for our retirement so we wouldn't have to depend on social security--a program we contributed heavily to for 30 years or more. Both of us got injured on the job working as hard as we did. Let me tell you, you find out real quick that they appreciate the hard, injury causing above and beyond work only while you're doing it. When you can't, there's no appreciation or loyalty. You're thrown out like trash. In the last 4 years, the annuities dwindled away. So much for our retirement.

We see other people go to the dentist and eye doctor with seeming ease. We haven't been able to get our eyes checked since TB became disabled. We can't afford to get new glasses and we don't have insurance for glasses. The same thing is true with dental visits. Medicare doesn't cover it and neither does the secondary insurance we pay hundreds of dollars a month for. Dental insurance itself is prohibitively expensive. I wonder if eye glasses and dental care are excluded from Medicare because so many seniors do need these services?

It makes me mad to hear politicians call Medicare an "entitlement" or a "Ponzi scheme". I paid into that fund my whole working life. It doesn't seem right that TB and I wouldn't be able to get our teeth looked after when we've contributed so much.

And don't get me started on what the kids are going through. Under employed and uninsured, we need them to help us survive because with expenses going up and our income frozen, we don't have enough to make it on our own. The five of us are tied together, no one being able to manage independently. Argh.

Oh well. Today I am just telling myself again, lots of people are having a hard time right now. I got a letter from my mom yesterday. Much of it was guilt inducing or confused crap but she also forwarded this great poem:

It's Fine Today
by Doughlas Malloch (1877-1938)

Sure this world is full of trouble
I ain't said it ain't
Lord, I've had enough and double
Reason for complaint;
Rain and storm have come to fret me,
Skies are often gray,
Thorns and brambles have beset me
On the road--but say,
Ain't it fine today?

What's the use of always weepin,
Makin trouble last?
What's the use of always keepin;
Thinkin of the past?
Each must have tribulation--
Water with his wine;
Life, it ain't no celebration.
Trouble? I've had mine--
But today is fine!

It's today that I am livin,
Not a month ago.
Havin, losin, takin, givin,
As time wills it so.
Yesterday a cloud of sorrow,
Fell across the way.
It may rain again tomorrow;
It may rain--but say,
Ain't it fine today?

I have to say that today is a fine day.

If I Wasn't Disabled...

2011-10-07T09:39:00.000-04:00

...I'd get myself a tent and sleeping bag and go join the Take Over Philadelphia protestors. I am fed up and disgusted with government and big business too. As it is, I don't think I could handle being out in the elements with everything I've got going on.

I am so mad about what happened to TB yesterday. I blogged that he had a cracked tooth that he'd kept to himself for about a year because he knew we didn't have the insurance or finances to fix it. He told me about it when his jaw began to hurt relentlessly. I called the clinic in town--the one that serves those on a fixed income and who have little or no insurance--and got an appointment. I told them he'd probably need his tooth pulled because it's broken. TB went to the regular doctor meantime and got a script for an antibiotic. Tooth infections can cause all kinds of problems for the heart.

So we go for the appointment yesterday and wait for an hour before he's finally called. They took an Xray of the broken tooth and then the doctor tells him sorry, he's got to go elsewhere for either an extraction or root canal. The doctor says the clinic has stopped doing extractions and root canals. I wish someone had bothered to tell me that when I called 2 weeks ago to make the appointment! I would have called one of the recommended dental schools right off the bat.

That's where we have to go ... to a dental school in Philly or in Newark.

That's why I would join the protestors if I could. TB and I haven't had a COLA in three years but our expenses for everything keeps going up. It gets harder and harder to manage and if there's an emergency, we're screwed. The people who are protesting are basically in the same boat. They're under-employed or unemployed. Maybe they have benefits but I bet many do not. They can't meet expenses.

Meanwhile, the wealthiest Americans continue to get tax breaks. The Republicans claim if we tax the wealthy and big business, it'll kill the jobs market. What a laugh and a half. These rich businessmen have been enjoying all these tax breaks and their wealth for years--since President Bush--and they haven't generated decent jobs for anyone! Instead, they take advantage of tax breaks to send what could be decent jobs overseas.

I don't think there's any middle class anymore. I think there is getting by, skirting the line of disaster, and poor.

I also think this protest is going to continue growing. People have really had it. I know I have!

Update

2011-10-06T12:43:00.000-04:00

I've been absent for nearly a month, for many reasons. One has been a sort of "brain freeze" for writing. There's been a certain blahness and sameness to the day-in day-out stuff and the pains of financial struggles. I do want to get back into blogging more regularly though and thought to start out with an update.

Poor Cubby developed a horrendous infection in his tail. We're not sure how it happened but suspect that Munchkin may have scratched or bitten him. We didn't realize anything was wrong until the infection had progressed so far the vet thought Cubby might lose part of his tail! TB and I had him isolated in the office to keep him away from the rest of the gang. We were applying medication to his tail and giving him oral antibiotics. We had compresses on his tail to help the infection drain. We sat with him a lot to keep him company and so that he wouldn't knock off the compresses or worry his tail. Well, it all paid off because he's healed beautifully and didn't lose his expressive tail!

I was in a great deal of pain one day and ended up going to the emergency room with TB. It turns out I had a kidney infection. I had a cat scan of my kidneys and there might be an adenoma on the left side. I also seem to have a hiatal hernia which isn't really bothering me. Anyway, I'm seeing a kidney specialist about the adenoma later this month.

TB's in more pain than ever because he has this cracked tooth that has exposed the pulp. I persuaded him to go to the doctor for an antibiotic while he waited for a dental appointment. It's true he should have gone to the dentist when it first cracked but, he told me, it didn't hurt and we didn't have the money for the appointment. We don't have dental coverage. Now, though, it's become critical and so we called for the earliest appointment. It's today. Also today, TB's seeing the kidney specialist because he's got a lot of protein in his urine. It could be damage from the diabetes he'd had for so many years ... or maybe he's just taking in too much protein.

I was doing more chauffeuring than usual in the last 2 weeks due to broken down cars and what have you. No one can afford to get a car fixed, including TB and me. Luckily the car trouble Heidi had seemed to be related to a disconnected hose and was easily fixed.

I started working with my therapist on PTSD issues and my writing. I'm hoping this 12 week program helps. So far I'm not noticing a difference.

Here are the two memories that most interfere with my writing:

When I was a little kid--maybe 2nd grade--I wrote this story about a couple of kids, a talking black-eyed Susan and a magic flying carpet. Apparently my teacher submitted it to a local paper and they published it in their Sunday magazine. My teacher told me about it and I went home proudly and told my mom. She didn't believe me and got really angry with me, calling me a liar. No one would publish one of my stories in the paper! I felt confused and ashamed and scared. The next day, the teacher wanted to know what my family thought and I told her they didn't believe me. She gave me the magazine to show my mother. My mom apologized but it was sort of too late. I already doubted whether or not I could really write.

The other memory is from when I was about 12. I would hide my writings in my desk. I came home from school one day to find my mother holding my notebook in her hand, spitting fire and rage in her eyes. I'd been writing about a family with an "evil" stepmother and apparently my mom recognized herself. I didn't think I'd intended to write a story about my mother and actually remember very little about it except denying frantically that the stepmother was my mother. It didn't feel safe to write anymore and that's when most of the freeze started.

Sometimes I have strong bursts of inspiration and I have to write. I had one of these bursts ten years ago, when I wrote some fan fiction. Other times I've had some inspiration but it's but rare and far between. I know I can do it, though, because I took a creative writing class and, under the pressure of a deadline, I was able to produce.

The rest of the time, though, I'm just filled with doubts and self-recrimination.

Well, with this therapy, I'm supposed to read the memories over every day to lessen the impact. I also pick out different incidents, write down what happened, what I tell myself, and what I think as a result of all of it.

I thought about tracking my progress over the remaining weeks of therapy. I guess we'll see if I follow through with it!

Remembering 9/11/01

2011-09-11T10:42:00.000-04:00

This has been a year of difficult anniversaries, bringing back sad and devastating memories of what was. Ten years ago, I was coping with the loss of my first love, Rich. It was a normal day and I was working as an on call interpreter for the Deaf. The kids went off to school as usual.

I was on-call at a training school for disabled adults. I'd been there for around a year and had a routine that I settled in to. Between 8:30 and 9, I was interpreting instructions and getting the Deaf clients set up for the morning. Once they were on the way, I would go for coffee and then sit at a computer nearby, reading the news on Yahoo. When I tried to sign on, though, I realized the site was down. I figured something had happened to the network and found something else to do.

I was able to log on eventually and was shocked to see one of the Twin Towers was in flames. What happened? A plane crashed into the tower. At the time, there was speculation that the pilot had become majorly confused and slammed into the tower by accident. It was then that the second plane flew into sight and slammed into the other tower. I couldn't believe what I was seeing! When the second plane hit the tower, I knew it couldn't have been just an accident. We were at war.

Around me, it was like nothing had happened. The teachers all knew but had decided not to tell the clients. They didn't want to start a panic. One of the teachers was especially worried because her husband was in one of the two towers. She'd been trying to call him but was unable to get any answer. The Deaf clients noticed the teachers kept getting together in clusters and asked me what was wrong. I knew the teachers didn't want to announce the news so I just said I didn't know.

When the Pentagon was hit, I felt really scared. Would there be more targets? Would I get trapped here, away from my kids? There was no way I wanted to be separated from them. I thought, if there's going to be an all-out attack and if we're going to die, I want us all to be together. I called the school and the principal asked me not to get the kids before the end of the school day. I agreed to wait for now but if things got worse, I would come and pick them up. Apparently the school officials also planned to keep the news from the students. One reason was that some of the students had parents in the towers.

This was the longest almost two hours I'd spent. After I talked to the principal, the fourth plane went down in a field in Shenksville, PA. Not long after that, the first of the towers collapsed. Within a half hour or so, the second tower went down.

It was all so surreal. I remember thinking for the first time that I was glad Rich wasn't here to see what was happening. At the same time, I missed him desperately. The attack shook the shred of safety I had left to feel--and most of it had been torn away when Rich died. I felt exposed and vulnerable.

As lunch time approached, it seemed that the attacks were finally over. Until then, I was poised to just jump up and leave. Now I felt I could stay until the training day was over at 3. Then I would go home and be there for the kids.

Most of the clients went out for lunch so there was no way to keep the news from them anymore. It was pretty hard to stick to a schedule after that. The teacher I was working with still hadn't heard from her husband but was staying by her post.

I didn't feel angry about the attacks yet. I was still in shock. I remembered that two of my kids and I had just been at the World Trade Center just a couple of weeks before. We'd gone there for the Dark Shadows Festival and had considered taking a ride to the top of the towers. We didn't have enough cash for everything, though, and we decided it was too expensive. Next time, I said. Now there'd be no next time.

The towers would no longer be a part of the New York City skyline either. When Rich was in the hospital in April 2001, we'd taken a walk down the hall to the large picture window in the waiting room. We were on an upper floor and could make out some of the buildings in the city. We could see the twin towers. It just seemed like those buildings would always be there. Now when I watch a TV show or movie set in New York, I look for the skyline. Was this from before ... or after? Sometimes the towers are there and it's just so weird.

The most horrible of all was the loss of life from the planes and in the buildings of the twin towers and Pentagon. My thoughts and prayers go out to all the families of the victims and to the families of the fallen first responders. These memories are permanently etched into my brain. We'll never forget those who died and the events of the day.

On a positive note: the teacher's husband was one of the fortunate who made it out of the towers alive.

Cats on Tuesday: It's that time of year again...

2011-08-23T10:52:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Kosmo sez, Wha hoppen? Why did Mommy Bean grab us all and put us in the bedroom and close the door?

Effurybody looks around for an answer!

Mouse: do you know, Indigo?

Indigo: it's gots to do with dem bitey things the dog keeps bringing in!

Oh, dat again. Fleas. The human beans gets all excited about dose tings.

Amber: Wake me when the bombing and vacuuming is done, thank you!

Yes, so the poor dog started with the fleas from outside and we decided we had to nip it before it got out of hand. The whole house got treated, room by room, and one day all the cats spent the day in our bedroom. I thought we might have some conflicts but everyone got along just fine. Hopefully everyone will be feeling better and flea free! Cubby didn't make it into any of the pictures because he headed straight under the bed!

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Good Neighbors

2011-08-21T11:44:00.000-04:00

What attracted me to Good Neighbors by Ryan David Jahn was two things: reviews said the story was based on the Kitty Genovese story and it was compared to the movie Crash. I had a flashback to an incident that occurred on my lunch break years ago, when I was in my early 20s. I decided to read the book.

This is Jahn's first book. He could be the next excellent writer if he continues to write stories like this one.

Kat Marino is a young woman who goes off her late shift and returns home to her apartment in Queens around 4 a.m. Little does she know there's a predator waiting for her. Little does she know a bunch of her neighbors (some strangers, some not) are up at the time, involved in their own petty little dramas. So she is attacked by the predator and screams for help. Some people actually comes to their windows to look out but no one lifts a finger to help--not even to call the police.

The story goes on with the last few hours of poor Kat's life. There are also visits to all these other people to learn what they'd been doing and why they didn't act to help. There's a rogue cop and an EMT with vengeance on his mind.

The book is a thriller and one of those I had trouble putting down. All the same, it was also a story where I disliked nearly all the characters. Part of it was that they did nothing to help. I know there's a whole syndrome about this named for Kitty Genovese--the more bystanders there are the less likely it is that anyone will get involved. All these characters had other "stuff" going on in their lives but it was hard for me to care or feel sympathetic. The characters were also rather stereotypical which could be due to Jahn's inexperience or due to the length of the story (it's not very long at all).

My favorite character was Frank, who passed Kat's car as she was arriving home. I think he would have helped her if he'd been able to return in time.

The memory that got sparked: I was working in Baltimore City as a clerk typist. I liked to take my lunch by myself outdoors on nice days. This particular day I went to Hopkins Plaza. On one side was the Morris Mechanic Theater. I went up to the top level. I could look down on the plaza and people watch or gaze at the flowers there. I always had a book with me because I get myself settled and read while I ate. That's what I was doing when I heard the scream.

I stood up and looked down into the plaza. Dozens of people were sitting along the fountain and the flower bank, eating their lunches. None of them had screamed but they were all looking around. Then I saw a man dragging a woman along. It almost looked like he had her around the throat as he pulled her along. She was screaming "No, no!" No one got up or challenged the man.

"Hey!" I yelled from where I was. There was no way I could reach them--and no way that man could reach me. They never looked around anyway.

The man continued to drag the woman out of the plaza.

Then I saw a hard hat entering the plaza. He heard her screaming and ran to her aid. At about the same time, police or security guards came out of the federal building on the other side of the plaza and the man was apprehended.

I have no idea what almost happened. Did the two of them know each other? Were they strangers? It bothered me a lot that no one tried to help her and I wondered what would have happened if the construction worker hadn't intervened.

A Dance With Dragons and Neverwhere

2011-08-14T11:25:00.000-04:00

I started to feel a little sad as I got to the end of A Dance With Dragons by George R.R. Martin. I thought to myself, what could I possibly read now that would even begin to hold my interest? and how long until the next book comes out?. Martin is that author of the Fire and Ice series, now up to five books. He plans to write two more. There was a five year wait period between the fourth and fifth books and I sure hope that doesn't happen again!

It's a fantasy series but it's reminiscent of the days of chivalry and knights. The characters are rich and well developed. Most of the characters aren't totally good nor totally evil. They're people who make choices, some good, some bad and then have to deal with them. The first book focused mostly on the Stark family and those are the characters I care most about. There is also an exiled princess...now queen...that I am rooting for to regain her kingdom.

With each book, there have been new characters introduced with interesting background stories. Some are heroic in nature and others are more villainous. So far I've only encountered two characters that have (in my opinion) no redeeming qualities.

Right now the Stark family is scattered far and wide. The princess I'm rooting for seems stuck in another place and almost content to be so. The series has taken some pretty big twists and turns. It's not predictable and it keeps you (the reader) on your toes!

After I finished the book, I wondered what to read. I decided on Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. It's another fantasy and I thought it might help ease me back into the real world. Heidi told me he's a good writer so when I saw this book at a library sale, I picked it up.

Richard Mayhew is your typical young man living in London--good job, friends, engaged--until he encounters Door on the street. He finds her lying on the sidewalk, bleeding, and she doesn't want to go to the hospital so he carries her home. There begins the adventure. It turns out there are two worlds, London Above (where Richard resides) and London Below (where Door lives). Who was trying to hurt Door and why? How can Richard fully return to London Above? It was an entertaining book, funny and different. It did remind me of a more adult-like Alice in Wonderland, where Tweedledee and Tweedledum are sadistic assassins, not twins. I was glad I read this book. Now I'm able to move on beyond Martin's book and read other books.

Cats on Tuesday: Munchkin Has A Nest Too

2011-08-09T08:49:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Indigo's not the only one wif a nice hidey spot! Check mine out! I fink it's even nicer! I'm lying on a nice soft comforter instead of on toppa dirty clothes. An' I have friends to keep me comfpany! Mommy Bean's daughter made hers some stuffed kitties. Dey aren't as nice as us real fings but dey sure do make great pillas!

Want more cat blogging?

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Man Cat Monday: Cat Days of August

2011-08-08T10:45:00.000-04:00

What can a feline do on these hazy, hot and humid days of August? The boys have the right idea. Every day Kosmo and Mouse find somewhere cool to sprawl and nap!

Want more Man Cat Monday and cat blogging? Check out Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Wordless Wednesday: Feline Friends

2011-08-03T13:41:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

Cats on Tuesday: Indigo's New Nest

2011-08-02T12:03:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Indigo saw Kosmo enjoying the laundry hamper "bed" and decided to try it out for herself. She's made it her own now! For some reason, Mouse and Munchkin like to chase, torment and tease Indigo so she especially enjoys her new bed when it's half full. Why? Mouse and Munchkin can't see her and she can relax in peace!

Want more cat blogging?

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Man Cat Monday: The new bed?

2011-08-01T10:50:00.000-04:00

Ever on a quest for new comfy places to snooze, Kosmo finds a full laundry hamper to be ideal. I'm not quite sure how he managed to get up into it though!

Want more Mancat Monday and cat blogging? Check out Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Surgery or Not?

2011-07-29T11:17:00.000-04:00

This time it's me considering surgery and not TB. When I was very heavy, the ligaments in my ankles or lower legs stretched out and my feet went flat. The problem is more pronounced in my left ankle. When I walk barefoot, it looks like my ankle could almost touch the floor. I've been wearing a brace on that foot for five years, at least. I have an insert for my right shoe.

Sometimes it hurts a lot. I definitely become uncomfortable standing or walking for any length of time. When I was heavy, the surgeon was reluctant to try surgery because, of course, the weight could just cause the ligament to fail again. I didn't like that answer but it made sense.

So now I've lost about 150 lbs with the switch. I thought, hmmm, maybe I can get my foot fixed now. If I worked as a teacher's aide or substitute teacher I'd be standing a lot. From the week I spent in the classroom in the spring, I know it would be hard as is. My orthopedic doctor sent me for an MRI of my foot and then referred me to a colleague who specializes in ankles and feet.

We saw him yesterday and he told me I had a "stage 2" posterior tibial tendon dysfunction. Whatever you call it, it's caused this flat foot and weakness. He had some weight bearing X-rays taken and it turns out I've got arthritis growing in too.

Then he talked about the ways we could treat it. Yes, he can do surgery. He'd have to take a tendon from a toe and put it in place of the stretched out tendon. I felt a little squeamish but that's not the end of it. He would also have to cut through bone to move my heel over! Full recovery and physical therapy would take a year! Yikes!

If that procedure didn't work, he would have to do more surgery involving opening my foot and messing with bones.

Another choice is to fuse my foot but then I wouldn't have movement in my ankle.

The third choice is to just keep going as is.

I had a plantar's wart on the bottom of my foot right where the doctor would have to make his incision. He wouldn't do anything anyway until that heals. Right now I've been seeing a dermatologist to try and freeze it off. The wart has been especially troublesome because the brace puts a lot of pressure on it. It hurts a lot to walk.

I have a lot of time to think this through. I'm not in excrutiating pain but then I don't do a lot of standing or walking either. I have a feeling I'd need the surgery if I wanted to get a job in a school. The idea of having my foot fused is totally unappealing right now. I'd want to do that only if I had a huge arthritis problem and was in agony.

I could always just let things alone and use a brace. Maybe I could work this way. I'm just not sure if I can and it would suck to get a job and then say oh, now I need to take a year off because I need this surgery.

I can take as long as I need to figure out what I want to do.

Cats on Tuesday: Got Her!

2011-07-26T15:50:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Remember a couple of weeks ago when Kosmo, Munchkin and Mouse were plotting to get Indigo out of her new cat tree? Well, the boys did it!

We knew she'd have to go to the baffroom eventually!

Ooooh, dere's an upper story too!

And it gots nip!

Nip? My turn! I'll just sit on it and keep it safe! And I'll save some for Munchkin, too. Heh, heh!

Want more cat blogging?

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Caravans

2011-07-25T15:45:00.000-04:00

The last time I went to a library book sale, I picked up Caravans by James Michener. I've read many, but not all, of his books. When I read the back cover and saw that the setting was in Afghanistan I decided I wanted to read this one. The reason, obviously, is because of our military involvement there. I know next to nothing about the country.

I learned a lot about Afghanistan from this book, although some of it may be outdated as it was written in 1963 or thereabouts. Michener is skilled at telling the history of a region and its people. I enjoyed all the native characters because it was through them I learned the most about life and culture in Afghanistan 1946. I didn't care too much for the "hero" Mark Miller nor the missing girl Ellen Jaspar.

The story basically is that Mark Miller, some kind of attache to the U.S. Embassy, is sent on a journey to find Ellen Jaspar, who's run away from home to marry an Afghan engineer and then disappeared. Parents and senators are clamoring to know what happened to her. The more interesting part of the book is the search and caravaning to find her. Once she appeared, she totally turned me off. I won't get into why because it would spoil the book for anyone who hasn't read it.

I gave it three stars out of five because of it. It's probably not fair but there you go.

Books I've Read

2011-07-13T11:33:00.000-04:00

Now that summer's here, bringing with it all the heat and humidity, I find I'm reading more often and for longer periods of time. I've been hiding from the triple H's (hazy, hot, humid) by staying indoors near the air conditioner.

Right now, I'm eagerly awaiting my copy of A Dance With Dragons by George R.R. Martin. It's the latest in his series called A Song of Ice and Fire and relates the tales and adventures of characters I've come to love in The Seven Kingdoms and abroad. I don't want to give away too many details of the stories because I wouldn't want to spoil anything for folks who haven't read the books yet. The characters are well developed and I found myself caring about many of them or heartily despising a few. That's how well and convincingly Martin writes. I've been shocked and saddened by sometimes horrific things happening to my favorites. I've celebrated when similar incidents happen to some of "the bad guys". Starting in May with the first book, A Game of Thrones, I reread (I'd read these books twice before) the books in the series. The others are A Clash of Kings, A Storm of Swords and A Feast For Crows. I was a little disappointed because many of my favorite characters didn't appear in the last book. That's because the story grew so large, Martin had to split it into two books. My favorites are in the book that I'm anxiously awaiting.

I'm almost finished with The Evening News by Arthur Hailey. As I began to read it, parts of it seemed familiar. I'm not sure I read the whole thing through. It may have been one I put down out of boredom. There've been a couple of places where I struggled to go on and sections I skipped because I was so bored. Don't get me wrong. I usually enjoy Hailey's books. This one is good in most places. It's the story of what happens when a news anchor's family is kidnapped by terrorists. Hailey's very knowledgeable about each of his book topics. The problem is that the information can be dry and it's not always presented in an interesting way. I'm hoping I finish it after I've received Martin's new book. I don't really want to start a new one. I'd really like to read Martin's book first but I can't be without a book to read either. Oh well.

I also read London by Edward Rutherfurd. I'd never read any of his books before because they were so dauntingly "big". I picked this one up at a library book sale and decided to give it a try. I'm glad I did! Rutherfurd reminds me of James Michener in that he centers in on one location and writes a story that takes place over hundreds of years. With Rutherfurd, the story of London, England spanned centuries and more. He started just before the Romans came to settle and ended in 1997. The characters and stories were richly developed and interesting. I loved the book so much I went to Paperback Book Swap and requested two more of his books. I'm looking forward to reading them.

The other book I read while waiting for Martin's book was Dead By Sunset by Ann Rule. She writes about some creepy sociopaths! This guy was a real "winner" in that he probably took his then 4 year-old-son to the ambush place he'd set up for his ex-wife. He beat her to death with something like a flashlight and then set her car to drift onto a nearby highway, hoping there'd be a massive car accident and her injuries would be attributed to that. Ewwwww. I picked this book up at the library book sale. Any time I see that Ann Rule is the author, I'll grab the book if I haven't read it. She's an excellent true crime author.

Now I just watch and wait for the mail carrier!

Cats on Tuesday: Plans for the hottest (so far) day in July

2011-07-12T10:40:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

So today is supposed to be the hottest, most humid day of the summer (so far). With the heat index, it could feel like 105. My plans are to stay inside as much as possible, in the air conditioning, and not move around very much. This morning, I saw that the gang was already getting busy with their plans for the day.

Munchkin decided to make use of my younger daughter's laptop and check out Facebook. She's addicted to Farmville and loves to collect the animals!

Mouse sez to Kosmo, You needs a baff!
Kosmo: No, I don't!
Kosmo: Yes, you do and I'm gonna help give you one whether you want it or not!

Mouse: Aw, fugged aboud it! It's too hot for a baff anyway!

Amber: I'll just chill out here and look boo-tee-ful.

Cubby: Dis looks like a good book. I fink I'll sit on Mom's lap while she reads it to me.

Indigo says, well, I fink I got the bestest idea yet!

I'm going to relax on this nice soft comforter right under the air conditioner. I'm the coolest!

Want more cat blogging?

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Cats on Tuesday: Close Friends

2011-06-28T09:29:00.004-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

I came upon this sweet little scene one morning. Sometimes no words are necessary!

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Tracking My Weight Loss

2011-06-21T18:30:00.002-04:00

My weight loss since I first began my WLS journey:

And since I had surgery:

As of July 5, I only have 16.5 lbs. to go to my goal! Woooohoooo!

Check it out!

Blogger now lets me make tabbed pages and I think it's really cool!

I have updated information about my weight loss surgery progress pictures and story under my WLS Progress page.

My book list and resolutions for 2010 are now listed on the "About Me" page. Please click away!

Wordless Wednesday: The Dog's Water Tastes Better

2011-06-15T11:21:00.002-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

Cats on Tuesday: What a difference a week makes!

2011-06-14T10:17:00.003-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

On Toosday last week it was so hot! This week it's deliciously cool. Mom Bean has opened up all the windows and let in the fresh air ... and birdsong! The gang spent all morning trying to convince the boidies to come close to the windows!

Dad Bean's been really handy at making cat trees. Here's the newest one, just for Indigo. She doesn't care to be around any of the other gang and so won't share the other cat trees.

Hmpf, all we hafta do is figure out how to get her out of the tree and then we can share it whether she likes it or not!

Mouse: Got any ideas, Kosmo?
Kosmo: I'm thinkin, I'm thinkin!

Updates to follow!

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Thursday Memes

2011-06-09T10:01:00.000-04:00

1) If you could write a book, what would you write about? Or if you've already written books, when can we expect to see your next one? I have a couple of ideas for stories. One involves growing up in a Deaf family with a fifth of alcohol thrown in and the other has to do with coping with widowhood. I don't want to get anymore detailed than that online.

2) Have you ever wondered about quitting your blog, what was the first thought that came to mind? Actually I have. The first thing I thought was: I don't have anything to say! I have to be careful about what I write about in real life because this is the internet. Whatever I put online is there forever and I'm sure there's a lot out there I wouldn't have posted if I'd thought about it twice. So what is there left for me to blog about except for my four footed friends? Even there I'm running out of pictures and ideas. A timely meme for me today!

GT: Favorite Subject

In high school, my favorite subject was drama. I took drama when I was a senior and loved it so much I took it twice. I had to get permission from the teacher and she readily gave it. How could I not love drama? The teacher encouraged us to get in touch with our feelings and stretch. We practiced with tons of exercises everyday. At the end of the semester, we put on a class performance, a "little theater". Mrs. Cooper was one of the best teachers I've ever had, always encouraging us to think through a situation and figure out what the character might be thinking or feeling. I went from being very stiff and awkward with myself to more relaxed and in tune with who I was.

Thursday 13

Thirteen things to do this summer

1. Ride bikes with TB...but in the morning when it's not so hot!
2. Swim in the lake
3. Visit & swim in the ocean
4. Spend time with grandson Little T
5. Read A Dance With Dragons when it comes out in July
6. Pick up cat blogging on a regular basis again
7. Find blocks of time to write and then do it!
8. Hide from the heat and humidity as much as possible
9. Find recipes that don't require using the oven!
10. See an orthopedic specialist in ankles about fixing my foot
11. Watch movies with husband and kids -- nothing much on TV during the summer!
12. Read all these books I have piled up as long as I'm hiding indoors from the heat and humidity
12. Stay in touch with friends and family now that school's over!

Booking Through Thursday

All things being equal (money, space, etc), would you rather own copies of the books you read? Or borrow them? It depends on the book and/or the author. For example, I would rather own George R.R. Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice series because I love it so much. I collect Stephen King's books. I'm beginning to feel the same way about Edward Rutherfurd. Many other books I'd read and enjoy just once. Those I'd rather borrow.

3X Thursday

1. How’s your head space doing this week? It's pretty good this week. There is always stress but I'm managing it a lot better now that school is over.

2. Anything major got you down lately? If so, what? What are you doing about it? The economy and what it's done to our finances. Everything is so tight we are practically counting pennies. The only thing we can do is watch what we spend, which is what we've been doing for the last couple of years.

3. What do you do to help pull yourself out of depression when it strikes? For me, depression is a chronic battle. Right now my meds are working again. Sometime during the winter, my antidepressant sort of failed and I slid into a deep well of depression. I thought about quitting school, wanted to sleep all the time, and the whole nine yards. The doctor gave me a new med to try and what I did was just basically order myself to hang in there until it could kick in and start working. That's the thing with depression. It usually lifts but it just doesn't feel like it ever will. It's a real struggle to fight it.

Wordless Wednesday: Naptime

2011-06-08T11:17:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

Cats on Tuesday: What to do on a summer morning

2011-06-07T11:07:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

We're about to enter our second heat wave of the summer...except, technically, it's still spring. We don't have summer until the solstice later this month. Anyway, I know how I want to beat the heat and I went around the house with my camera to see how the gang was going to deal with the day.

Amber sez, Iyam going to watch da boidies. This is the best spot to watch dem fly and hop by!

Indigo sez, Iyam watching da boidies too but this is acktually more comfortable than the floor!

Munchkin: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...dis is da way to spend a hot morning!

Mouse: Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Kosmo: No, dis way is better, a nice comfy cat tree! And there is nip all over, too!

Cubby: I fink dis is best. Iyam right in da window and can catch any breeze and I have an up-close view of all da boidies!

Want more cat blogging?

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Memes

2011-06-04T10:47:00.000-04:00

I just came from reading a friend's blog, Jen's Rambling Thoughts enthusiastic about memes again. I'd forgotten about them in the year I was going to school! Memes are fun and can sometimes spark ideas to write about.

Saturday Six

Name 6 things that you did more before you discovered social networking?

1. Read
2. Go out
3. Talk on the phone
4. Face time with friends
5. Play with pets
6. Work on puzzles

Saturday Nine

Best and Worst

1. What was the best thing that happened to you this week? TB and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. Son Bill treated us to dinner and then we went to the movies. It was so nice to go out!

The worst? TB's been having muscle spasms all over his body and last night, his leg gave out. It's scary and very worrisome!

2. What's the best thing someone's done for you (recently or not so recently)? My mom sent us a big fat check for our anniversary!

What's the worst thing someone's done to you (again, recently or not so recently)? Gosh, I try not to focus on negative stuff. Well, I guess the worst thing was being deprived of our grandson for six months a few years ago.

3. What's the best thing about your job? I'm not working right now but when I was an interpreter for the Deaf, I loved interacting with the clients and being in a new setting from day to day. I loved my independence.

Worst? The pain from overuse syndrome in my hands. I started interpreting in the early days, long before breaks and relief were required for interpreters signing for more than 30 minutes at a time. There were days I was signing six hours.

4. What's the best new website you've found? The Dark Shadows News Page. I am a big fan of the original gothic soap and its actors and actresses. I am thrilled that Tim Burton is filming a remake with Johnny Depp.

Worst? I guess I'd have to say my professors' webpages because all they have is work...classwork and homework!

5. What's the best book you've read? It's been out for a couple of years but I was waiting to read it until the last of the series was about to come out. It's called A Feast For Crows by George R.R. Martin.

Worst? I'm not sure. I give a book about 100 pages to "hook" me and if it doesn't, I set it aside and forget it.

6. What's the best movie you've seen? It's so hard to pick just one but I'll say Casablanca

Worst? Men At Work with Emilio Estevez. It came out in the early '90s, I think.

7. What's the best meal you've had? Prime rib, baked potato, sour cream & beans

Worst? Liver--I couldn't get past the first bite!

8. What's the best holiday? Christmas

Worst? I can't think of a worst holiday. Maybe Valentine's Day. It's about love, but what if you don't have a significant other? It's also about spending a lot on cards, candy and flowers

9. What's the best thing in your future? Hope

Worst? The economy!

The Saturday Six at Patrick's Place

1. Which doughnut shop do you prefer: Dunkin’ Donuts, Krispy Kreme, or a different store? I prefer Krispy Kreme slightly over Dunkin' Donuts. There's something about the taste that's different and Krispy Kreme is more appealing.

2. Do you prefer your doughnuts hot, room temperature or cool? Room temperature

3. Take the quiz: What Donut Are You?

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.

But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.

You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.

You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and you pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds

4. How do you usually spell it: doughnut or donut? Donut

5. Do you prefer cake-style or glazed? Glazed

6. Do you prefer frosted, creme-filled or plain? Frosted

That first meme got me thinking about all the things I did before Facebook. I'm thinking I should devote less time to the computer and more to friends and family. So I called my mom on TTY to see how she's doing. She told me she was busy doing laundry (hint, hint, get off the phone). I asked if she'd rather I call another time and she said yes, because she also had to get ready to make her dinner. It was 9 a.m. at the time. But who knows? Maybe an 82 year old woman needs that extra time. So I went back to Facebook. ;) Later, though, I'm hoping off to read a book, ride my bike and spend some time with my kids! It's another beautiful day outside and I hope everyone else enjoys their weekend!

Cats on Tuesday: Cubby's Fave Napping Spot

2011-05-31T11:25:00.000-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Cubby sez, These pikturs were acktually taken in winter, at the beginning of Mom Bean's semester. This here is my favrit place to perch ... and nap. How can I nap on someping so narrow? Watch me!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

I tried to get as close a shot of Cubby as I could without waking him. He was so adorable with the back half of him on our bed frame and the front half dangling off! He wouldn't have fallen far if he'd dropped off though. The frame was pushed up right against the wall and his front self was dangling almost onto the window sill!

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

When medication quits working

2011-05-29T11:52:00.000-04:00

A big part of my arsenal in my "war" with depression is the medication. The other part is self talk and support but when the medication fails, sometimes the other things aren't enough. I noticed I wasn't feeling very well over the winter months but I figured that was just all the stress that's always there.

As soon as the spring semester started, I immediately felt overwhelmed and tired or sleepy all the time. I didn't look forward to going to classes and two of them most related to my education major! I looked at all the work that was expected and wondered if I could do it. TB was so encouraging and supportive. I didn't feel reassured however.

I felt dread about going to class. I felt sad and overwhelmed and all I wanted to do was just stay in bed. Luckily I'd learned some of the self talk over the years to cope with a bout of depression and I just kept getting up. I also talked to my doctor about what was going on and told him I felt so overwhelmed I just wanted to quit.

He said my anti-depressant must have stopped working and wanted to add another, wellbutrin. He said it worked on a different receptor than the Prozac and hopefully the two together would work to make me feel better. I figured I'd give it a try. One of the psychiatrists I saw over the years explained that my depression is biological and that the medication for it is like insulin for diabetes.

Now what I'd say to myself was, it takes a month for the medication to kick in. Just keep going until then I'd also tell myself see how your grades are after the midterm and then decide. Well, I got all A's so poor grades was not going to be a reason to quit! TB was also still encouraging and supporting me so I struggled through some tough weeks but stuck it out.

Not long after the midterms, my mood began to lighten up and I didn't feel so wrung out and hopeless. The medication finally started working. I made it to the end of the semester and am so glad I hung in and didn't quit. The struggle was worth it.

Feline Friday: Cutest Kitty Video Ever!

2011-05-27T11:26:00.000-04:00

I was going to feature one or more of the gang today but then I saw this video on Facebook. It's so precious and appealed to my sense of motherhood. So, here it is:

Want more Feline Friday and cat blogging? Check out Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

The long road to graduation

2011-05-26T11:35:00.000-04:00

I did it! I finally graduated on May 21, 2011. It only took some thirty odd years! :D

I didn't go to college when I graduated high school in 1973. I was under the impression my parents couldn't afford to help me out and I didn't qualify for financial aid nor did I win any scholarships. I decided I would work and save up the money to go. We all know how that goes. ;)

Almost two years later, I was going to a church for the Deaf and the pastor there took an interest in me, deciding I really should be in college. There was a big crisis between my parents and I left home. I rented myself an apartment in the city but was only there a few months when the pastor decided I should move in with him, his wife and mother.

The pastor wanted me to go to school so I reapplied for financial aid and to the local university. This time, I got the aid and it was enough to pay for my tuition and books. It was a new, intimidating and totally confusing experience for me to go down and try to make a schedule. When I was done, though, I felt great.

About a month into this, the pastor was accused of misappropriating funds. He plotted a counterattack against the treasure, making up a bunch of lies to spread around. I happened to overhear and was horrified. The pastor tried justifying it all to me and I just kept saying, "But it's not true!" I felt totally betrayed--this was a man of God trying to destroy the reputation of another based on lies. The pastor called me a Judas and I knew I had to get out of there.

I probably could have rented myself a room and continued on but I spiralled into this depression, hurt, angry, disillusioned and sad. I just stopped going to classes. First I lived with a roommate in Baltimore City and went to work. I was offered a better job in Washington D.C. My parents were living nearby and asked me to join them so I could save more money for college. I agreed but that was a mistake.

By 1978, I'd saved enough money to take a couple of classes and reapplied to the same university (different campus). I enjoyed the classes so much! I was into the second year when my mom went on a drunken rampage and chased me from the apartment with an ice pick. That was in the middle of a semester and instead of renting a room somewhere and muddling through, I just sort of collapsed and became depressed again.

Then I started again in 1994. By then, I was married to a wonderful man and had my three beautiful children. Rich encouraged me to try again and so I did. I almost finished, too. I was stymied by geometry and an unexpected move to New York. Once we got to New York, I figured I could finish up somewhere...but Rich died. The early bouts with depression was a tap dance compared to the way I felt then. I've learned that fibromyalgia can develop from trauma and I am sure that's when my symptoms started.

Fast forward to 2010. I never thought I would ever find love again but a miracle occurred and I met and married TB. When I started talking about finishing my degree, he was completely supportive and has been there for me throughout. I had another bout of depression this spring and he is one of the reasons I didn't give up and drop out again.

So on May 21, I graduated with an AA in education, with "highest honors"--a GPA of 3.9 overall in all those classes over the years. It feels good to be able to say "I did it!"

Cats on Tuesday: We're baa-aack...finally!

2011-05-24T11:41:00.007-04:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Hello, effurybody! The gang is finally back now that Mom Bean has grad-you-ate-it and can type fur us again! We haff all been very busy while Mom Bean has been sitting around reading fat textbooks and typing term papers. I haff been spending most of my time fending off the others. They don't get that I yam a loner and I hafta keep reminding them! I yam hoping this stuffed kitty will give them the hint that I don't need any company!

That's okay, Indigo, I yam happy here by myself in the clothes hamper. I haff been very busy too ... eating and sleeping. That's pretty much what alla us been doing ... eating, sleeping and grooming. Yep, we been pretty busy. Mom Bean didn't want to 'sturb everyone else who are sleepin so their pictures will turn up over the next few weeks.

It's good to be back!

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Snow cancels school!

2011-01-27T15:53:00.000-05:00

Ah, winter. I started the "spring" semester this week and snow closed the college today! This semester I'm taking physical science, history of the foundation of education (something like that) and educational psychology. There was a fourth but there's so much work required that I decided to drop it. I don't need that class to graduate but I do need these three. I feel a little scared of how much is required but I'm giving it my best shot. I have several papers to write, group projects to do, individual presentations and have to go into the field to attend a school board meeting and volunteer in a school setting. Whew!

This winter we've had a snow storm every week and I'm so tired of it already. I want spring. TB and I need to move someplace with a warmer climate, a place where snow is a rare occurrence. Say ... North Carolina. I know they do get snow too but it's more of a once in a blue moon occurrence. So this is what we woke to this morning:

Everyone piled out the door to shovel ... except for me!

Oh...and Mouse didn't go out either. He sez: Dis da way I spend a snowwy day!

With the threat of another snowstorm coming next week, TB and I decided to get an electric snowblower, the kind we could afford. He found one at Lowe's in stock and bought it and we all started to pile into the car to go get it. First I took pictures of our street.

Pretty yes! Aggravating and frustrating yes!

Off we went to Lowe's but it was a wasted trip. The store tried to call us back after the order was placed but TB had accidentally put down the wrong phone number. There was no working electric snow blower for us and so we had to turn around and come back home. Everyone piled out and had to finish digging out the driveway with shovels.

I guess that's what we'll do next week too.

Come on, spring!

Wordless Wednesday: Sharing a Lap!

2011-01-12T11:45:00.000-05:00

Cats on Tuesday: Preparing for the new snowstorm

2011-01-11T15:37:00.001-05:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

The gang is annoyed with me because I almost forgot to post a Cats on Tuesday again! It's taking longer to get back into the groove than I thought it would.

Cubby and Munchkin help TB prepare for the new winter storm. What better way to get ready than to relax and be nice and warm ahead of all that upcoming shovelling to be done?

Want more cat blogging?

Be sure to check out Gattina's blog and Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!

Snowy Saturday

2011-01-08T13:18:00.000-05:00

I remember the weather forecasters last fall said something to the effect that we would have a *cold* winter but not a snowy one. Huh? In two weeks we've had three events and another one predicted for next week. Granted, the amounts have been nothing like they were last year. That first storm (on December 26) dumped two feet on us. Yesterday's snow brought a couple of inches and today we're expecting another 4-6. I hope that's all because clearing the snow has become a big issue for us!

This morning TB and I took Buddy for a walk as the snow was getting underway. It sure is pretty when it's falling. We went back to where the woods are but didn't go in. We'd have to cross a log bridge to get anyway and that would have been a little risky for us because I'm sure the log would be slippery.

I took this picture of Cubby and Indigo in our bedroom window this morning before we left for our walk. I had the flash on but the picture came out really dark.

It was especially good for me to go on a walk because I've been struggling with depression again. I look at some of the things I need to do and feel overwhelmed. I think about writing something but then can't seem to find my focus. I think stress and worry are getting to me. When I don't get things done, I get mad at myself--the old all or nothing type of thinking I still struggle with. I think I need to exercise and find things to do that will distract me. The internet doesn't hold my attention anymore so it'll have to be something else. Meantime, I'll look for free things for TB and me to do to help keep me busy.

TB's shot cancelled :(

2011-01-03T11:42:00.000-05:00

TB's been having terrible pain in his hip for months now. An x-ray showed some kind of floating body but no one could tell if it was in the hip joint or not. He had a shot of cortisone in his hip and the doctor used ultrasound to place it but it didn't help. He was sent for a cat scan and that test wasn't conclusive either. A surgeon who looked at it thought there might be a torn cartilage. Now, I don't get why fixing it wasn't the answer. The doctors wanted TB to have another cortisone shot, this time using a fluroscope machine.

His first appointment was scheduled for December 27 ... and we got 2 feet of snow dumped on us the day before. The appointment was rescheduled for today.

Just as we were getting ready to leave for Pennsylvania, though, the phone rang and my heart sank. We have to go to PA because apparently Medicare won't pay for the procedure at the surgery center in NJ. Thanks, Medicare! :P Anyway, the call was to tell us that the appointment had to be cancelled because "something came up". They'll call to reschedule it. That means TB has to wait longer and suffer some more before hopefully getting any relief at all.

I don't understand why pain isn't managed better for people. The doctors are reluctant and act like it's such a big deal ... like TB is just supposed to suck it up and deal with it. It's really hard to watch TB struggle with so much pain. Sometimes he breaks down and cries. Why can't the doctors be more compassionate? Don't they understand what a big deal it is to be put off and told to wait for help a little longer? Maybe if they were the ones suffering things would be different!