First aid for a baby bird and other stuff

What do you do when a baby bird flies into your window and crashes to the ground? TB picked the poor little guy up and cradled it in his hands. We didn't know how badly the little guy was hurt and hoped it was just stunned. I found a box and we put a little water, birdseed, and some leaves into the box. TB gently put the bird down and it just did not want to let go of his finger, poor little thing!

We had to go out for a doctor's appointment. When we got back, we checked the box and it was empty. It looks like our little patient was just stunned and needed to rest before flying away! :)

We went to Good Will the other day for sheets. We were hoping to avoid buying new queen sheets just for this craft show. Good Will has everything and is a godsend for people in need. I like shopping there and don't mind the inconvenience of going through each piece of clothing to find my size. It's worth it! They also have everything from socks to bedroom sets and more. Anyway, we didn't find queen size sheets but we did find a set of three. I think they're full size but can be pieced together to make the size we need. It cost us only $6.99!

TB's been working almost around the clock to get ready for the craft show. I took a couple of pictures of the smaller items he's made and will bring.

My favorite is the mouse with cheese. TB took better pictures of his creations because he used a white backdrop. I plan on getting more pictures of the other projects the day of the craft show.

Yet again, I will need to call Medicare. TB and I want to compare health plans and hopefully go with one that has vision and dental. There are two in our area and when I discussed them with a Medicare agent named Jose they both seemed pretty good. He told me the monthly premium would be $84 for one and $89 for the other. I got a comparison report on those two companies from Medicare and was completely confused by the price breakdown. There were about a dozen breakdowns in different categories. Was I supposed to add them up? The report said the monthly premiums would be about $115 a month. What happened to the costs Jose gave me? So that is what I need to ask Medicare. What is the *real* monthly premium?

After that, we need to figure out if our doctors participate. In some cases, like with Dr. Greenbaum our bariatric surgeon, we're not going to want to switch to a stranger. Next, we have to figure out the cost of co-pays. Right now, we have no co-pay. If we switched, we'd save around $200 a month (I think) but then we'd have to figure how many times we see a specialist in a month. The specialist co-pay is $25 or $35. I think I would need a specialist once a month as long as I'm healthy. Switching might be a good option for me if it means I can get dental and vision.

Today I'm calling our doctors to see if they participate in either of these two plans. It's especially important for TB that they do!

This week I'll be thinking about whether I want to push off PTSD therapy to the new year. Susan, my therapist, insists that digging around in all these memories is supposed to dredge up all these feelings and reactions. That I've not reacted with strong emotion nor cried tells her that I'm resisting and using my defenses to stay away from painful memories.

I'm sure she's right because most of the painful stuff either feels like it's in a block of ice in the freezer or in a box stuffed into the back of a closet.

Well. Maybe what I should decide is whether it's worth trying to tackle all that PTSD stuff period. It took me over 50 years to build these walls and defenses and I don't think much will change in a 12 week program. So, I'm thinking...

And while I'm thinking, I've decided I like the Black Friday movement to boycott all but the independent businesses and stores for Christmas shopping. Big name brand stores make tons of money and don't treat their employees well. I suppose the little independents treat their employees similarly which makes me mad but I think I'd rather support them than the big chain stores who could afford to behave better toward their workers. Maybe what I'll do is just boycott everybody and make my own gifts!

On Facebook, I share pictures that resonate with me. Today there was one that pissed me off. It listed the outrageous salaries the president and members of congress earn *for the rest of their lives* and then lists the average social security salary of a senior as $12,000. And it's some of these senators and congresspersons who want to mess with social security and medicare. You'd never see them say anything about reducing *their* forever salaries!

Assistance

There have been a lot of commercials on TV directed at Medicare recipients. Our open enrollment is going on right now. This is the first time ever I can remember commercials from insurance companies as well as Medicare itself inviting people to call and get assistance figuring out which program is best for them. The insurance companies, of course, are pitching themselves. One that intrigued me is a company called Highmark, which claimed to have vision and dental coverage.

I looked all over for information about Highmark and looked through the Medicare book we were sent. There's nothing about Highmark so I called Medicare. The first thing I wanted to know was how they could claim to have vision and dental when my company claimed no one could offer it. Well, it turns out there are categories of insurance. It's all very confusing and you really do need someone helping you figure it all out.

I told the lady we needed dental and vision and she found two companies in our area that can give us that coverage. Highmark, unfortunately, is not in our area. Anyway, she is sending out all the information so we can decide whether we want to switch or not. It's going to depend on the premium, co-pays, and what doctors participate with the plans. I'm so hoping that one of these plans will fit our needs!

A very nice thing happened just now. TB was interested in participating in a craft show at his mother's senior development complex. He wanted to bring his projects over and get exposure and possibly some orders. Well, unfortunately, this was when his tooth needed to be taken care of and we just did not have the $25 fee for a table. The lady running the event just called because someone else had to bow out and instead of getting a refund, just said to keep the fee. The lady thought of TB and called to ask if he'd be interested in that table. Boy howdy! Now he is going to get busy making holiday items. The craft show is Nov. 12.

From checking around, I found out the college Kristin goes to has a health services office that treats all kinds of issues. There's a nurse practitioner there that can prescribe medications for illnesses and other issues. That would be a big help for Kristin, whose college health insurance policy covers up to $5,000. That can go real quick in some cases.

As for other forms of assistance, we don't qualify because our income is just over the limit. The programs (like heat assistance) are there for the very needy and it's a good thing they are. It's tough for us because we sure could use the help but don't qualify. So we try to find programs and places like Angel Food Ministries (which is now closed) or food pantries. There is such a demand and need for food pantries!

I have a feeling we'll have to turn the heat on this weekend. It's supposed to snow on Saturday! Snow before Halloween!

TB's post surgery visit and other stuff

Yesterday was TB's one week post-op visit to Dr. Greenbaum. Everything seemed fine except ... there is a redness all around the incision. It didn't look like an infection and didn't feel hot to the touch, just warm. It sort of looked to me like a yeast infection, the kind TB got after his shoulder surgeries. Dr. Greenbaum, though, said it's an abdominal wall infection (cellulitis) and drew lines around the areas with his pen. He prescribed an antibiotic and said if the red areas spread, TB would have to come to the emergency room and get admitted for IV antibiotics. Since then, we've been watching the red areas closely. Boy, it's always something and it's exhausting!

It's cold inside the house. Everyone's wearing hoodies and sweaters and (in TB's case) blankets. It doesn't seem fair because outside it's actually rather nice. I open the windows to try and let the warm air in. In the summer time, it's always been hotter inside than outside so I'm not sure why the sun isn't warming our house up more. We won't turn on the heat yet because it costs too much. The rates jumped up a few months ago.

Is it me or has the fall colors been muted the last few years? When we first moved to NJ, I remember the trees being so vibrant with reds, oranges and yellows. I loved to go for a drive and just look at the gorgeous colors. One year we took a trip to northern Jersey to see the colors at peak. Lately, though, the colors have been so subdued I hardly notice the change. The leaves aren't strikingly beautiful. The first year it happened I thought it was because we hadn't gotten enough rain. The next year we did and then I thought, maybe it needs to be colder.
This year I just wonder if it's my mood or my age. Taste declines with age and so does hearing. Does the perception of fall colors decline too? I wonder.

More Miscellaneous Stuff

This little town I live in has been around since the Revolutionary War. TB found a website once that told him this town has had its share of good times and bad. I think it hit a height in the 1920s if I remember correctly. It was almost like a resort town. The natural lake reflects trees, sky, and any buildings like a mirror. Wikipedia says the median income for a family is around $45,000. I can tell you, with the cost of things these days that income isn't so great.

When we moved here almost 10 years ago, it didn't seem so run down. It was a middle class town with a barber, beauty parlor, library, grocery store, a few clothes stores, a shoe store, an ice cream parlor, a couple of fast food joints and too many auto parts stores.

There are two shopping centers not far from each other. One is the place everyone goes and the other is an eyesore. The owner of the eyesore gets some kind of tax breaks or something on the losses from the place and so he has no interest in improving things. At one point everyone wanted the place condemned including the town government. Somehow it didn't happen. The derelict lot is still there, bleak and ugly as ever.

We have a homeless population that has grown over the years. Many of them live in the woods. There's a hotel in town that provides shelter for the lucky ones.

There's supposed to be a couple of drug nests in town. I know where these places are and don't go there. I've never seen drugs bought or dealt anywhere I've been.

There's nothing for young people to do around here except go to the library. The nearest movie theater is about 20 miles away; same with the nearest mall. Luckily, we do have doctors and a couple of dentists here. Otherwise, we'd have to travel about 20 miles to find one.

I was ranting about the lack of public transportation around here. You really need a car to get anywhere, including the grocery store. Not everyone (including us) is lucky enough to live in walking distance of places we need.

Like I said, it just seemed like a middle class town when we moved here. Now, though, it's gotten older, sadder and poorer...like us.

I thought about boycotting Walmart and grocery stores but I don't think I'd be able to. With all the money those places make, they could treat their employees better. Part-timers get no benefits and these places like to schedule their employees up to an hour below full time just so they don't have to give them benefits. Walmart's benefits for full time employees will be going up as much as 60%. People don't make that much in those places. They'd have to decide between eating or paying bills or the health insurance. The other thing they do is suddenly cut the hours of their employees and hire a whole bunch of new ones. Employees can't be sure from week to week how long they'll be working.

If there was a Boycott Walmart day or week, I'd do it. I don't think I'd do it on my own because it would hurt me and my family and I don't want that. I can save a lot of money on groceries getting things at Walmart. That savings goes into our account for emergencies and things we need. It's about $5 or so here and there but it adds up!

As for boycotting the grocery stores...they all engage in this practice with their employees. I can shop less at grocery stores but there are still some things they carry I can't get elsewhere.

I wonder if there's another effective way of letting the grocery stores know I'm not pleased with them?

TB's recovering from his tooth extraction and hernia operation. He's very sore and hasn't much appetite and is sleeping a lot, but I guess that's to be expected. He sees his surgeon tomorrow. He has another tooth that is on its way out and it would be nice to save it but I doubt we can afford the root canal. So it goes.

Stretching the dollar on a busy day

Saturday's become our major shopping day since the fall semester began. Kristin is taking a course at the community college campus about 40 minutes away. It so happens that Walmart and Shoprite are along that route so we drop her off first and then go on our merry way.

Gas prices have gone up at least a dollar a gallon since last year and that's really hurt us. We only have so much to budget for gas and can't really change the amount so we're getting a lot less and have to curtail our driving quite a bit. I am really ticked about the gas prices. Maybe that's another sign I would bring to Take Over Philly. The prices go up, come down, and then jump up again for no rhyme or reason other than (I suspect) corporate greed by the oil companies. I don't mean the jump you get around the holidays. I mean like what happened in recent weeks. The price of gas went down fifty cents, to around $3.13. Now it's jumped back up again. Why? Who knows!

I collect the grocery flyers and look through them carefully to see who's got the best price on what I need. Usually Shoprite has decent deals on meat (although prices have gone up) but not this week. No chicken or ribs or sausage or anything. However, at Acme (the store closest to us), they had a 4/$19.99 meat sale going on.

We usually skip Acme when we shop because they have the highest prices around. The 4/$19.99 special is okay though. The packages are supposed to be enough to feed a family of four. Before our surgeries, this wouldn't have worked for us. TB and I eat as if we were one person and so the meals do make it. We just don't have left overs. We're able to get ground beef, whole chickens, sausage and ground turkey.

So with the flyers I have, I make lists. I haven't been clipping manufacturer coupons because they really haven't helped me. Most of them are for products I don't use. When they are for something we us, I find the store or generic brand is cheaper. I do use store coupons though. As long as we make a $25 purchase, we can save money on things like deli cheese, produce, sometimes meat or shrimp, and dairy stuff.

Walmart's been a place to save money since they opened a refrigerated section. They are not a super Walmart because they don't have meat or produce but they have just about everything else. Their canned, bottled, and boxed foods tend to be less expensive than Shoprite. Another thing is, they match prices from other stores. I haven't taken advantage of that yet mainly because it would be a little confusing. I'd be bringing five flyers to show them that red cabbage is blah-blah at Stop & Shop, tuna is 10/$10 at Shoprite, bread is so much at Super Fresh and so on. But as prices for food goes up and our budget has no more wiggle room, I'll have to do that.

I'm sure a lot of people have to shop this way these days.

We had a busier day today because we needed to stop for TB's cat scan appointment. This is another test the doctor ordered to figure out why he had so much protein in his urine. Hopefully this will explain it.

I Fooled Me

What a surprise! First I found a copy of my journal entry in my inbox and thought wait a minute, I didn't post anything today! Then I saw two of the comments and remembered I'd created a Thursday Thirteen last week and set it to publish for today. Ah, the wonders and mysteries of Blogger! I also keep thinking today is Saturday, realize it's not and then think it's Friday. I'm discombobulated for sure!

Well, I'm in a better mood today and that is because we have family here from Tennessee. We also had our Little T for part of the morning into the afternoon. We decided to go to the town beach for a little while this morning and we had so much fun! It was overcast and even rained a bit but there was no thunder or lightning so that didn't stop us.

TB coaxed the younger grandkids down to the water. EVeryone kicked off their shoes and walked along the shore, kicking up water. The lake is clean but the water is brown because of the cedar trees. Little T indicated he'd like to wade out further into the water and I'd come prepared so we shucked our clothes (I was wearing a bathing suit and he wore his pull ups) and went in. It didn't take long for granddaughter Taylor to follow us in. We sort of swam back and forth--more like I towed the younger two but we had a great time.

Michele and David are here through Sunday and it sure is good to see them again--it's been about 3 years! The last time I saw Nik he was just a toddler and now he is almost 4. Taylor will be 8 and Ryan and Brandon are 12 and 13 respectively. Michele and David have their own problems to be sure and so we spent some time commiserating with each other.

I thought TB was going to have a complete breakdown this morning before Michele and David arrived and I'm afraid I wasn't very nice to him. He'd just gotten off the phone with social security and they were basically telling him nothing about his claim. They told him they wouldn't know anything until after September and couldn't even begin to guess how much he might make during the month. We are between a rock and a hard place and need to make some kind of intelligent decision about what to do next. Ted went to pieces.

I came to see what was wrong. I was already feeling enormous stress myself and when he told me what happened, my attitude was this is social security, what did you expect? and I told him he had to pull himself together because I couldn't deal with Tomas alone. I was feeling mean as I said it and then I felt bad because he said he couldn't help it and needed some space. I was going to take Kristin and go to the beach but then TB pulled himself together and we got ready to go. Michele and David pulled up as we were leaving.

So here is what we need to decide: when do we sell the house?

We went to see an attorney to discuss a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. First of all, we can't afford his fee--$1000 down before he'll file any of the papers. Second, he finagled the numbers to make it seem as if we could afford the restructuring plan. I already knew what the reality was and I kept asking him, "But what are they going to do when they see we can't make our basic living expenses until we hear from social security?" and he kept saying, "We make the numbers work."

Yeah. By lying and under estimating our true expenses. He cut our car insurance, electric bill and phone bill in half. I wanted to cry. If this budget is accepted, we'd have to pay our mortgage plus almost $300 extra a month to pay back the arrears. On top of that, we'd have to pay for food, the electric bill, and so on out of the balance...and it can't be done in reality. The lawyer's budget balances but ours doesn't.

We can't afford to stay in our home. It's breaking my heart.

Do we sell now and hope to get a good price in this weak market? Houses are not selling well around here. Do we wait out the forebearance and hope that we hear from social security so that we can work out a new deal with the mortgage company?

A friend of mine wrote to me and said we shouldn't become paralyzed by our fear of what's happening. I think that's what's happened to us. We are paralyzed because we don't know which way to go. I guess I keep thinking naively that by praying and praying somehow the answer will come to us just like that, in the form of a dream or a gut feeling...but it hasn't happened yet. Meanwhile, TB and I try to hold onto our sanity and not turn on each other!

How We Messed Up With Money

I'm reading two books about getting out of debt: Live Well On Less Than You Think by Fred Brock and The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. I wish we'd had these books before we got into this mess. I don't know if we'll be able to dig ourselves out of such a deep hole but we're going to try.

I started Live Well first and here's what I learned about it so far: I am a member of the spoiled brat baby boomer generation that finds it so hard to save and so easy to spend. The author breaks people into several generations. Those who came before the boomers are the cash and carry folk; they don't trust credit cards and always pay with cash. The generation after us, the Gen-Xs, apparently do use credit cards but wisely. They're the ones who don't anticipate anyone taking care of them (like social security) and so they are a lot more careful with their money. Ours apparently is the generation that can't say no to ourselves; when we want something we want it NOW and that's why we've gone overboard with credit cards.

Not that this was any surprise to me, but credit card debt is "bad" because most of the time we use it for stuff that is eaten or used up in a short period of time and we can't remember where the money went. "Bad" debt is also new cars because they start depreciating right away. A lot of people who go bankrupt say it's because they accummulated too much credit card debt, a disaster occurred and then they were unable to pay it. Some people take out a new mortgage or get a line of credit to pay off their debt. It's a bad idea--and I can tell you this is true--because usually within two years the credit cards are maxed out again. There is good debt and one example of that would be a mortgage.

From there, the book then talks about places to live that are less expensive than others. TB and I were encouraged to see that Delaware is one of the least expensive places to live. Expenses were broken down by cost-of-living, property tax, childcare expenses, and prescription costs to name a few.

Then there are the little things we can do to save money. The areas where it's easiest to cut back include food, clothing, home decorating and furnishings, family activities and holiday spending. I think we're at the point where we really need to stop spending a lot on food and start visiting food banks. Otherwise, the suggestions are pretty common sense: pack a lunch instead of buying out, clip coupons, buy on sale, buy name brand and so on. We haven't bought any clothes for ourselves in months. Home decorating and furnishings? NOpe, putting that off too. Our family activities are eating dinner together--no movies, no parks, no nothing that cost money. Holiday spending? This year, everyone might just get a card.

I slowed down with this book when it started talking about which kind of insurance policies we should have. I may skip over it because at this point in our lives, it may no longer be relevant. I have term life policies, which was recommended, and we know TB wouldn't be able to get a policy because of his diabetes. Of course, New Jersey is one of those states that don't allow exclusion of pre-existing conditions but it would be ever so much nicer if we could get disability policies--which we've had no luck with so far. And we now don't have the money for any of this anyway.

So that's what I've learned so far from the first book.

They're baaa-aack!

We haven't even launched our kids into "emancipation" yet and already the outlook is poor. All I hear about, it seems, is "boomerang" children--they leave home, try to set up independently somewhere, fail and come home to Mom and Dad. This is not necessarily a bad thing except that even in the best of circumstances, it causes a lot of tension to have adult children and parents all living in the same house.

That's not the way things used to be. I think extended families were prevalent at some point weren't they? At the very least, we all used to live together in the same town.

I would say the biggest problem in the house is that the adult children all think they are single heads of households and they're the boss. They don't seem to get that this is our house, we're paying for it and they're living here practically for free and that there are house rules that need to be followed.

So what is up with boomerang children? The article is called "Last Hope In A Weak Economy?" and you can read it in its entirety here.

A new survey by the retiree-advocacy group AARP found that one-fourth of Generation Xers, those 28 to 39 years old, receive financial help from family and friends.

The online survey of nearly 1,800 people ages 19 to 39 also found 57 percent believed they were "financially independent." But in a separate question, 33 percent said they received financial support from family and friends.

Oh and it gets even better than this. Now, with the increasingly poor economy and difficulty finding and keeping jobs even adult children my age are moving back home with mom and dad.

After being laid off from her job as an events planner at an upscale resort, Jo Ann Bauer struggled financially. She worked at several lower-paying jobs, relocated to a new city and even declared bankruptcy.

Then in December, she finally accepted her parents' invitation to move into their home — at age 52. "I'm back living in the bedroom that I grew up in," she said.

Taking shelter with parents isn't uncommon for young people in their 20s, especially when the job market is poor. But now the slumping economy and the credit crunch are forcing some children to do so later in life — even in middle age.

My parents, who are in their 70s, are financially more secure than TB and I right now. Hey, maybe it's a thought...NOT.

Angel Food Ministries

Little T came home from school with a letter in his backpack from the school board. A new community service--one that is much needed here!--is being provided through St. Luke Lutheran Church nearby and that service is food at a reduced cost through Angel Food Ministries.

I took a look at the list and was amazed at what I could get for under $100, and we really needed a program like this. Here's part of a menu for this month.



We placed an order for two of the basic boxes and a box of fruit. Even if all of that lasts only 10 days give or take it will still be a substantial savings for us at a time when we really need it!