What A Sucky Day

There's just no other word for it. I've been feeling a lot of stress and my body's been reacting to it--negatively, of course--but the last day or two I've been relaxing in the morning, blogging, and trying not to think of all the worry-birds circling around.

So Billy comes in around 8:30 a.m. and asks, "Did you call AAA yet?" Eh? He's confused by my confusion because apparently at 2 a.m. last night all three of the kids were in my room talking to me about how my car wouldn't start when Billy left work, Heidi had to go pick him up and etc. etc. They say I said, "You have to jump start the car, you have to call AAA, am I dreaming?" I don't remember any of it but I don't doubt what they're saying.

So I'm looking at Billy and all of a sudden all the worry-birds swarm in and start pecking at my head:

how are we going to pay back the IRS and Social Security?
are these adult children ever going to be able to support themselves?
how will I deal with a major meltdown like the one that happened to Tomas the day before yesterday?
how much longer will I have to share my car with kids who don't mind trashing it?
and finally, what the hell do I do now?

In the good old days, the answer was easy: wake Heidi, get her to drive Billy and me to McDonald's, try to jump start the car and if it won't start call AAA and have it towed to Liberty Toyota. Meanwhile, also wake Kristin so that she is up and ready for Tomas when he gets off the bus.

But these aren't the good old days anymore. So I stare at Billy wordlessly as the fibromyalgia fog descends and then I mumble, "I gotta call TB." I called TB and just broke down crying. I had a nervous breakdown over a dead car battery, honest to john brown!

I know where I want to retire to ... will I make it?