Cats on Tuesday: Taking Care of Daddy Bean

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week, hosted by Gattina.

Cubby sez, Recently we haf been very worried bout Daddy Bean. Him got an owee in hims toe and it spreaded to his foot and ankle. So him hadda take a lotta medicine!

Munchkin sez, a couple times Mommy Bean hadda take him to the mergency room! And he almost hadda stayed inna hospittle, oh noes!

Mouse sez, Mostly he was just sapozed to rest and take his medicine.

Indigo sez, I holded him down to make sure he got lots of rest!

And we guarded him to make sure no one disturbed him!

Daddy Bean is gettin better very slowly but it's happenin! I fink he'll be just fine!

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TB update: We went to an appointment with the podiatrist last Thursday and the main concern is that TB's toe is still very swollen. The doctor debrided the toe and discovered that the infection is still trying to drain. She wants him to continue the oral antibiotics and he's probably going to need another MRI of his toe, foot and ankle to see what's going on. Sigh.

Man Cat Monday and an update

I haven't had much opportunity to take pictures of the gang in the last several weeks. The other day, though, I just had to get one of TB snuggled up with Indigo (hoping to post it tomorrow for Cats on Tuesday) and while I was at it, I took pictures of everyone else in the room too. I really like this picture of Cubby. To me, he seems to be saying, "yes? May I help you?"

It's been really hectic here for a month now. Heidi's car wasn't repaired yet (we're hoping it will be done on Tuesday) and so I was getting her to and from the bus stop. That wasn't such a big deal but then came the ordeal with TB's toe. It became infected and didn't get well.

We're not sure exactly how it became infected. About six weeks ago, he was clipping his nails and that one bled, either because he cut too close or because of the infection. At any rate, we made an appointment for him to see the podiatrist. It gave me the heebie jeebies to look at it and I was sure it was infected. It was all swollen and discolored. The doctor told TB to soak his toe and to apply an antibiotic ointment. He was already on an oral antibiotic for a cat bite that became infected. See? It's never dull around here!

So things seemed okay for the next week. TB finished up the antibiotic from the cat bite and a few days later, he began to have pain radiating up his ankle. I looked at his leg and felt scared. The tip of his toe was black and it was very swollen. His foot was also swollen and red. There was a red line running up past his ankle toward his knee. His leg was hot to the touch. There was also a bit of a smell and that really scared me. I was scared he might have gangrene in his toe so off we went to the ER.

I was sure he was going to be admitted but he wasn't. The doctor ran blood tests and cultures and they gave TB a dose of antibiotics by IV. The doctor prescribed more augmentin and said TB should see the podiatrist or primary again in a few days. The podiatrist has some weird hours so we went to TB's primary care physician. There hadn't been a dramatic improvement in the toe so that doctor decided to add a prescription of cipro. We were to come back in 4 days to re-evaluate.

There was slight improvement when we went back but not enough to make the doctor satisfied so he sent TB for an MRI of his foot and ankle and also for bloodwork. When the MRI results came back the following day, all the doctors began calling but were in conflict with each other. The podiatrist thought TB should go to the ER again. The primary felt we should try another week of oral antibiotics but that going to the ER would not be "unreasonable". The primary thought it was possible TB would end up losing his toe. An orthopedic doctor was called in to consult and he agreed with the podiatrist.

Off we went to the ER again. This time the experience was awful. For whatever reason, the ER was crowded and the hospital was filled to capacity. While they tried to decide what to do with TB, the doctors warned him if he was admitted he'd spend the night on a stretcher in the ER. There was no way we wanted that!

After reviewing more blood work and cultures taken at this second ER, the doctors decided to give TB 3 doses of IV antibiotics and then have him report to a clinic almost 25 miles away every day for more IV antibiotics.

In the middle of all this, my niece was getting married in Baltimore. Originally I'd let her know that the whole family was coming. Now it was 2 days before the wedding and two of us would have to bail. Bill said he would drive TB for his antibiotics on Saturday and Sunday. Because of their rules, the clinic was really strict about what time TB could come so it wasn't like we could all go to MD after the Saturday dose and come back later Sunday for that dose.

So the girls and I went to MD and had a lovely time. It was a wonderful break from all the stress, getting to see my family. I'd forgotten my camera in NJ but got a disposable camera. I'm glad I did. I took pictures that are being developed now and will share them when I get them back.

All the extra driving has been causing a hardship because of the rising cost of gas. On top of all this, some of our prescriptions have become more expensive. They've jumped from $8 to $40 and all we get is some BS story from the insurance company. They claim the generic drug companies are playing games with supply and demand and causing steep price increases in some of the medications. It seems to be all the extended release meds. I had to change one of my prescriptions; TB has appealed on two of his.

TB is getting today's dose of IV antibiotics now. The doctor will see him again Wednesday to decide the next step. TB is actually on week 2. At the end of the first week, I saw a major improvement. His toe is no longer black at the tip and looks healthier. The doctor, though, wasn't impressed. She's concerned because the toe is still swollen and wants TB to see a podiatrist. Apparently podiatrists are also surgeons. Maybe this doctor that just saw TB thinks he might have to lose his toe too.

I pray that he doesn't but only time will tell.

Thirteen Ways to Happiness & Wishin' and Hopin' by Wally Lamb

I was going to write about this study I read about the other day. Children that grow up in homes with violence end up with the same types of brain responses as soldiers in a war environment. I remember my therapist told me about that and I sort of believed it but was also skeptical. How could I compare what happened to me to that of a soldier in combat? Well...there it was, all true. The thing is, I also didn't want to write about it. It depressed me.

I liked this article much better and it fit in nicely with the Thursday Thirteen theme. See, I waver between feeling up and positive to feeling depressed and negative. It's a battle to stay upbeat but I find if I can do it a couple of days in a row, I can get a momentum going and keep at least an even keel for a while.

The article talks about what happy people do differently to stay happy. There was a list of 12 things and then I added one:

Thirteen Ways to Happiness

1. "Express Gratitude". Even if the only thing you can say is you have a roof over your head and food in your belly, this helps. I think about the things I do have when times are rough--like now, with the spending Christmas season. Things could be a lot worse.

2. "Cultivate Optimism". This is something my therapist was trying out with me. It involves saying things like, things aren't going so well but they can get better.
Or they will get better.

3. "Avoid over-thinking and social comparison". In other words, instead of worrying about the Joneses' just focus on yourself. So I'll just not concern myself with all the lights and decorations everyone else seems to have.

4. "Practice acts of kindness." This is a good one. I've done lots of these and it really is true--it gets that feel-good serotonin flowing.

5. "Nurture social relationships." This is a little harder for me to practice except on the internet. I never did make any friendships here in NJ mostly because it just seems like I have to say good bye to people I've made close friends with in the two states I lived in before, MD and NY. I try to attend to my internet friendships though. I've found some of my closest friends online.

6. "Develop strategies for coping". Ah, well, this is a skill I learned as a child when there were all sorts of crisis and chaos going on around me. I would come up with a Plan A, B, C, D, and E. If one failed, I'd turn to another.

7. "Learn to forgive". That's come with age. It's not something I could do when I was younger and filled with righteous anger. Over the years, the anger's tempered and I've learned a lot about how people behave and think.

8. "Increase flow experiences". Well, that's something I need to work on. I can get into the flow when I'm writing but haven't been able to focus recently. If I developed a hobby I enjoyed I could get into the flow too.

9. "Savor life's joys". Ah, yes, like spending the day with Little T or watching a snowstorm from the safety of my home or the sun coming up over the ocean.

10. "Commit to your goals". This is another one I need to work on. I feel adrift because I don't really have any goals other than getting through each and every day.

11. "Practice Spirituality". We do that, praying several times a day.

12. "Take Care of Your Body." I could improve in this area. I could exercise more regularly and watch what I eat. I could make sure I get to doctors for regular check-ups and preventative tests like mammograms and stuff.

13. Keep your sense of humor. This my own addition. I think if I didn't have a sense of humor (albeit a dark one sometimes) I would have lost my mind already. When I laugh, I feel those feel-good endorphins flowing around.

Last night, I finished reading a book called Wishin and Hopin by Wally Lamb, one of my favorite authors. The book was funny and sweet, focusing on 10 year old Felix Funicello, his family, friends, and school teachers. I saw it marketed in the book club as a Christmas book. I wouldn't have called it that although Christmas is in it. So are Halloween and Thanksgiving. It's more a coming of age story and Felix reminded me of Ralphie, the kid from A Christmas Story. I also got a kick out of the book because it was like a walk down memory lane--the way people dressed and talked, the TV shows they watched, and how simple everything used to be. Families ate together instead of apart. It was a fast, entertaining read and I'm glad to add it to my Wally Lamb collection!

Health insurance disappointment

I was so excited to find out that there are Medicare plans offering dental and vision coverage. I called for more information and after talking with the Medicare representative almost an hour about our needs, we settled on two companies to compare, Horizon and Bravo. Medicare sent a more detailed report about the two companies.

Meanwhile, I contacted our doctors and found out that all of them take Horizon. Not all of them took Bravo, though, nor did a hospital we use and so that was a deal breaker. When the reports came, we focused on Horizon and read through it carefully. It sounded good.

Right now, TB and I each pay over $200 to our current secondary carrier, $96 to Medicare and $36 to our prescription plans. With Horizon, we'd pay $84 a month and then $96 to Medicare. We'd save quite a bit of money. A drawback was that specialists' co-pay would be $35 and TB sees a few specialists a month. Okay, so that would eat up our savings but, hey, we'd get vision and dental! I contacted Horizon and asked for their benefits book and some applications.

The books arrived yesterday and TB and I were taken aback and confused. The dental and vision plans are very limited. For instance, with vision you pay up to $35 for the exam and then they cover a max of $100 toward glasses every two years. That's fine for someone who doesn't have involved prescriptions like TB and I do. Our glasses are, minimum, about $300 each. Still...maybe we could save up. And then we looked at the dental plan. There's a $35 co-pay and then you pay for each additional service. A filling would be $56. A root canal (which is what TB needs) is $661. Crowns cost $1000 and up. There's no way we could pay for these things.

On top of that, there's a $150/day for 10 days co-pay on hospitalization. That was the deal breaker for me. With everything we have going on, I couldn't say we wouldn't be in the hospital for a surgery or something. There is absolutely no way we'd be able to pay that bill.

I am so bummed. TB and I have talked about it and talked about it and it doesn't really look like it would be in our best interest to switch. We could stick with our company and have no co-pays and full coverage. We would have to save for a year to afford getting glasses or our teeth fixed, though--if then. Other emergencies keep popping up.

This is yet another reason I totally support health insurance reform. Too many people either don't have it or have really limited benefits and then are screwed when something goes wrong. Oh well. Having dental and vision insurance was a nice dream while it lasted. :(

Thursday Thirteen and a bad day!

Thursday 13

I got this idea because I just finished Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King and just started his 11/22/63.

Thirteen Favorite Stephen King novels

Pretend all these titles are underlined. It's too much work for me today! ;)

1. The Stand
2. It
3. Salem's Lot
4. Dolores Claiborne
5. Hearts In Atlantis
6. Green Mile
7. The Shining
8. The Talisman
9. The Black House
10. Carrie
11. Needful Things
12. The Eyes of the Dragon
13. Bag of Bones

Getting back to Full Dark, No Stars, Stephen King delivered four short stories of one type of horror or another. He always delivers, even though I think his writing has changed since he was hit by that van and nearly killed. I'm a devoted fan of his earlier books, which appear on the list above.

I wonder what kind of book King would write if he wrote about us.

This has just been one of those days.

It's raining so TB is in excrutiating pain.

He started to chew one of our bariatric supplements for omega three. These chews used to be soft and now they're hard like rocks. One of the caps on his teeth came out. I put my chew back because that's all I need. We don't have dental coverage and won't get any until January 1.

The last time this happened, over a year ago, TB glued the cap back in himself over and over. It worked for months and then he accidentally swallowed it and we couldn't afford a new cap. So now that tooth has been sitting there uncapped. This time we'll rob Peter to pay Paul to have the dentist glue it back in. Hopefully it will stay put permanently or at least until we can get the insurance.

I had an appointment to see the kidney specialist this morning. I'd scheduled it for soon after Kristin's class started and figured I'd be back in time for the last class to end 3 hours later. Okay, you guessed it. I waited an hour in the waiting room before being called back and then went through a lot of rigamarole only to have the doctor barely look at me, order up a bunch of tests and say repeatedly I should've been sent to an endocrinologist. I got out 15 minutes before Kristin's class ended and it's a half hour drive to the school. I was aggravated and frustrated and majorly stressed out.

The sound on our TV isn't working. We don't know why.

I forgot to take a chicken out for dinner last night so I took it out around six this morning. It's still frozen. I put it into a sink of cold water. Think it'll be thawed enough for me to cut it in an hour?

With the way today's been going, I doubt it. :P

First aid for a baby bird and other stuff

What do you do when a baby bird flies into your window and crashes to the ground? TB picked the poor little guy up and cradled it in his hands. We didn't know how badly the little guy was hurt and hoped it was just stunned. I found a box and we put a little water, birdseed, and some leaves into the box. TB gently put the bird down and it just did not want to let go of his finger, poor little thing!

We had to go out for a doctor's appointment. When we got back, we checked the box and it was empty. It looks like our little patient was just stunned and needed to rest before flying away! :)

We went to Good Will the other day for sheets. We were hoping to avoid buying new queen sheets just for this craft show. Good Will has everything and is a godsend for people in need. I like shopping there and don't mind the inconvenience of going through each piece of clothing to find my size. It's worth it! They also have everything from socks to bedroom sets and more. Anyway, we didn't find queen size sheets but we did find a set of three. I think they're full size but can be pieced together to make the size we need. It cost us only $6.99!

TB's been working almost around the clock to get ready for the craft show. I took a couple of pictures of the smaller items he's made and will bring.

My favorite is the mouse with cheese. TB took better pictures of his creations because he used a white backdrop. I plan on getting more pictures of the other projects the day of the craft show.

Yet again, I will need to call Medicare. TB and I want to compare health plans and hopefully go with one that has vision and dental. There are two in our area and when I discussed them with a Medicare agent named Jose they both seemed pretty good. He told me the monthly premium would be $84 for one and $89 for the other. I got a comparison report on those two companies from Medicare and was completely confused by the price breakdown. There were about a dozen breakdowns in different categories. Was I supposed to add them up? The report said the monthly premiums would be about $115 a month. What happened to the costs Jose gave me? So that is what I need to ask Medicare. What is the *real* monthly premium?

After that, we need to figure out if our doctors participate. In some cases, like with Dr. Greenbaum our bariatric surgeon, we're not going to want to switch to a stranger. Next, we have to figure out the cost of co-pays. Right now, we have no co-pay. If we switched, we'd save around $200 a month (I think) but then we'd have to figure how many times we see a specialist in a month. The specialist co-pay is $25 or $35. I think I would need a specialist once a month as long as I'm healthy. Switching might be a good option for me if it means I can get dental and vision.

Today I'm calling our doctors to see if they participate in either of these two plans. It's especially important for TB that they do!

This week I'll be thinking about whether I want to push off PTSD therapy to the new year. Susan, my therapist, insists that digging around in all these memories is supposed to dredge up all these feelings and reactions. That I've not reacted with strong emotion nor cried tells her that I'm resisting and using my defenses to stay away from painful memories.

I'm sure she's right because most of the painful stuff either feels like it's in a block of ice in the freezer or in a box stuffed into the back of a closet.

Well. Maybe what I should decide is whether it's worth trying to tackle all that PTSD stuff period. It took me over 50 years to build these walls and defenses and I don't think much will change in a 12 week program. So, I'm thinking...

And while I'm thinking, I've decided I like the Black Friday movement to boycott all but the independent businesses and stores for Christmas shopping. Big name brand stores make tons of money and don't treat their employees well. I suppose the little independents treat their employees similarly which makes me mad but I think I'd rather support them than the big chain stores who could afford to behave better toward their workers. Maybe what I'll do is just boycott everybody and make my own gifts!

On Facebook, I share pictures that resonate with me. Today there was one that pissed me off. It listed the outrageous salaries the president and members of congress earn *for the rest of their lives* and then lists the average social security salary of a senior as $12,000. And it's some of these senators and congresspersons who want to mess with social security and medicare. You'd never see them say anything about reducing *their* forever salaries!

Thursday Thirteen Random Thoughts on Friday

I meant to post this yesterday using the meme format but I just never got the time to sit down and do it. I'll get to that in a minute.

1. So Bank of Satan, I mean, Bank of America, is thinking about dropping the idea to charge all its customers $5 a month for using debit cards. They say it's because of all the feedback from their customers. Ha. I'd like to think it has something to do with November 5 switch-from-a-corporate-bank-to-a-credit-union day. I heard some of these other banks that were jumping on board with BOA are also reconsidering. Thank you. How much money did we spend on bailing out BOA and other banks again? They're making nice profits and what do they want to do? Squeeze more money from all of us!

2. And don't get me started on those obscene bonuses executives of other corporations bailed out are receiving!

3. Part of the reason I didn't get to blog was because TB and I were busy going to Walmart and Lowe's to get a couple of things for the craft show on November 12. This venture is costing us. It's not expensive if you've got it but we're using money that would go to other stuff. TB needed things like lemon oil, sand paper, cash box, queen size sheets ... Yes, queen size sheets. I think we're going to borrow them from his mom. They're to cover the table from top down to the floor. The lady running the event said she uses queen size sheets so it should be good.

4. I'm seeing "Blithe Spirit" with Kristin on Saturday night. She's treating me, which is really nice. She's taking drama this semester and one of the requirements is that students have to take in a play. It's been quite a while since I've seen a play...maybe almost two years. Tickets for non-students is only $10 so Bill wanted to join us. I'm looking forward to this!

5. I'm relieved that Dr. Greenbaum was pleased with how TB's doing after his most recent appointment. The abdominal wall infection cleared up and the seepage from the incision slowed down considerably!

6. We're having a hard time remembering to finger stick first thing in the morning! Our sugars have been running over 100 lately so the doctor wants us to test for two weeks before deciding what else to do. After testing several times a day for years, you'd think this would be old hat to us but I guess two years of freedom from it all has totally erased all the old habits. If we forget to get the fasting level, we go for an hour after the meal. I'm kind of bummed that the levels have been above normal.

7. Another reason I didn't have time for blogging is I had a therapy appointment. She thinks I am depressed again. Really? I think it's situational. Yes, I'm stressed. There's a lot going on. I don't think there's a pill for that. I take a nap to escape the stress.

8. Christmas decorations in October? If you looked, you could see them lurking in the background. The Halloween decorations barely came down before the Christmas ones went up. Does anyone else get depressed about this stuff? I mean, what about Thanksgiving? Can't the stores wait until "Black Friday" weekend to start all this commercialism? The arrival of Santa at malls was traditionally after Thanksgiving. Now it could be anytime in November. I was in the middle of filling out this survey for B101, a radio station in my area, and they want to know when did I want to start listening to Christmas music? Now? November 15? After Thanksgiving? I was about to say after Thanksgiving but then I thought if I have to be subjected to all this other crap now, why not enjoy the music? Holiday music does lighten my mood considerably.

9. Now I'm rating Christmas songs for B101. There sure are a lot! It doesn't seem like they all get played because in past years if feels like I just hear the same ones over and over.

10. Kristin's taking ASL 101 this semester and it's fun to practice with her. Her signs are nice and clear and her face is very expressive. I'm glad I can help her practice. She's doing very well in this class.

11. I'm still working on that Christmas song survey for B101. I wonder if they'll pay attention to my results? I wonder if anyone else had the patience to sit there and rate all those songs?

12. Why does trying to find the best insurance plan/a doctor have to be so darn difficult? We're still trying to figure out our medicare options, waiting for the information about the insurance companies to come in the mail. Also: Kristin was on the phone for about an hour trying to find doctors that would take her insurance. We'd first called the insurance company and they passed us off to the "preferred provider", whatever the hell that means. The preferred provider at least was more helpful. The representative got on the phone with the gynecologist's office and finally got them to understand who they were. The doctor's office then agreed to make an appointment for Kristin. As for the other doctor, well, we struck out and so the rep is doing a search among nurse practitioners to find an appropriate doctor. Don't ask me why nurse practitioners are doing this. I have no clue.

13. I don't think there's an end to this Christmas song list on B101. I'll probably be here tomorrow too! ;)

The Green Woodworker and other things

TB's hoping to get a business off the ground and wants to call it The Green Woodworker because he'll be using recycled material. He's made various things for people over the last year or so. Here is an example of what he can do. Someone with a nautical theme asked for an anchor to fill part of her wall and this is what he came up with. I think it looks beautiful! I'm sure the customer will like it too.

Here is a spice rack TB made for our cabinet. He's very creative and can make all sorts of things--magazine racks, wall hangings, ornaments, and on and on. He can customize things to what the customer wants.

What we basically need to do is get a website going with pictures of his projects. We also need to get the word out. Being able to participate in that craft show will help!

So we survived the great snow storm of October 2011. Yes, it was an event but I didn't see a reason to go all ballistic about it the way some people and news stations did. I like to watch Judge Judy and it's carried on a station out of Allentown, PA. Well, last night the show was preempted for non-stop coverage about this great storm. I guess Allentown must have gotten a lot of snow. We got just a dusting but I heard some areas got up to 8 inches of snow. The way they carried on at that station, you'd have thought the world was ending! I watched something else.

I didn't get any pictures of it but Munchkin lent a paw to "help" me fold laundry. She'd put her paw out to hold down a sleeve so I could fold the shirts properly. The only problem was, her claw kept getting stuck and I'd have to gently remove it. I tried to convince her that I didn't need any help but she insisted on assisting. ;)

On the down side, diabetes may be creeping back to TB and me. :( For the last several days, our sugars have been running higher than normal in the mornings. I contacted my doctor who said to track it for 2 weeks and if the levels are consistently high, I'll need to get some blood work done. It's very discouraging. One thing I'm trying now is cutting way back on carbs. On one of my previous visits to Dr. Greenbaum, he was concerned I was losing too much weight too fast. At that time, I added a lot more carbs to my diet to try and slow down the weight loss. The same thing happened with TB.

It's always something! :P

Snow in October

Now I know there are places where snow in October is the norm...but it ain't around here. Today TB and I made our shopping run after dropping Kristin off at her class and Heidi off at work. It was pouring down rain and cold. When we got out of Walmart, the rain drops were fat and heavy and I suspected the dreaded *snow* was mixed in. After Shoprite, we were sure. We were getting ice pellets and hearing reports of accumulating snow in northern Jersey. Sigh.

I love snow. I do. But I love it in winter, not in fall or spring! Who wants to see the little kid trick-or-treaters running around in heavy coats over their costumes? That's no fun! I also miss fall and spring weather. It seems like we get a few days of each and then the rest of the year is summer or winter.

I finally gave in and turned the heat on very low last night. I was hoping to hold out until November but the weather just didn't cooperate.

One benefit to the chilliness in the house: the cats all want to nap with us. I have pictures to share on Cats on Tuesday of various members of the gang. This afternoon I had Munchkin snuggled up under the covers, Mouse on top of the covers curled by my feet, and Kosmo and Cubby lying nearby and providing their own heat. It's like having space heaters all over the bed! :)

I wonder how the people at Occupy Philadelphia will fare. I know they want to stay no matter what the weather but today will definitely be a test. With the heavy rain, cold, and snow, if they can withstand this they may actually make it through colder weather. At this point, I think I would be a fair weather protestor and would pack my stuff up and go. My body ain't what it used to be.

TB still has pain and discomfort from the hernia surgery. I've been looking at his abdomen and the redness doesn't seem to be spreading but it's also not going away. I wonder if we should be contacting the surgeon but TB says we were to do that only if the redness was spreading. Fortunately, there is another appointment with Dr. Greenbaum on Wednesday so we'll see what he says!

More Miscellaneous Stuff

This little town I live in has been around since the Revolutionary War. TB found a website once that told him this town has had its share of good times and bad. I think it hit a height in the 1920s if I remember correctly. It was almost like a resort town. The natural lake reflects trees, sky, and any buildings like a mirror. Wikipedia says the median income for a family is around $45,000. I can tell you, with the cost of things these days that income isn't so great.

When we moved here almost 10 years ago, it didn't seem so run down. It was a middle class town with a barber, beauty parlor, library, grocery store, a few clothes stores, a shoe store, an ice cream parlor, a couple of fast food joints and too many auto parts stores.

There are two shopping centers not far from each other. One is the place everyone goes and the other is an eyesore. The owner of the eyesore gets some kind of tax breaks or something on the losses from the place and so he has no interest in improving things. At one point everyone wanted the place condemned including the town government. Somehow it didn't happen. The derelict lot is still there, bleak and ugly as ever.

We have a homeless population that has grown over the years. Many of them live in the woods. There's a hotel in town that provides shelter for the lucky ones.

There's supposed to be a couple of drug nests in town. I know where these places are and don't go there. I've never seen drugs bought or dealt anywhere I've been.

There's nothing for young people to do around here except go to the library. The nearest movie theater is about 20 miles away; same with the nearest mall. Luckily, we do have doctors and a couple of dentists here. Otherwise, we'd have to travel about 20 miles to find one.

I was ranting about the lack of public transportation around here. You really need a car to get anywhere, including the grocery store. Not everyone (including us) is lucky enough to live in walking distance of places we need.

Like I said, it just seemed like a middle class town when we moved here. Now, though, it's gotten older, sadder and poorer...like us.

I thought about boycotting Walmart and grocery stores but I don't think I'd be able to. With all the money those places make, they could treat their employees better. Part-timers get no benefits and these places like to schedule their employees up to an hour below full time just so they don't have to give them benefits. Walmart's benefits for full time employees will be going up as much as 60%. People don't make that much in those places. They'd have to decide between eating or paying bills or the health insurance. The other thing they do is suddenly cut the hours of their employees and hire a whole bunch of new ones. Employees can't be sure from week to week how long they'll be working.

If there was a Boycott Walmart day or week, I'd do it. I don't think I'd do it on my own because it would hurt me and my family and I don't want that. I can save a lot of money on groceries getting things at Walmart. That savings goes into our account for emergencies and things we need. It's about $5 or so here and there but it adds up!

As for boycotting the grocery stores...they all engage in this practice with their employees. I can shop less at grocery stores but there are still some things they carry I can't get elsewhere.

I wonder if there's another effective way of letting the grocery stores know I'm not pleased with them?

TB's recovering from his tooth extraction and hernia operation. He's very sore and hasn't much appetite and is sleeping a lot, but I guess that's to be expected. He sees his surgeon tomorrow. He has another tooth that is on its way out and it would be nice to save it but I doubt we can afford the root canal. So it goes.

TB's Tooth and Health Insurance

Today TB's got an appointment with the dentist he used to see before we lost our insurance. Except for the dental schools, of all the places we called, this dentist had the least expensive cost for extracting a tooth. TB prayed that the dentist would be compassionate and let us have a payment plan so that maybe he could save the tooth but I don't have a good feeling about it. Maybe we should have gone to the dental school instead, I don't know. Maybe it's better to go locally because of the cost of gas.

All this plus the fact that my kids are uninsured or under-insured reminded me of another cause I got involved with after Rich had heart failure and needed surgery in the 1990s. At that time, Bill Clinton was in office and his wife Hillary Clinton was working with a group of people to put together a comprehensive plan to help people with little or no insurance. It was an uphill battle.

I marched around on union picket lines in a couple of places. They were picketing not for wages but because management wanted to cut benefits. While on one of these lines, I happened to get interviewed by a radio reporter and told him our story. The next thing we knew, we were part of a story for U.S. News and World Report and we got interviewed for a segment of the David Brinkley Hour.

So here's my feeling about health insurance--in a country as wealthy as ours, there is no reason anyone working should be uninsured. If a person is disabled or very poor, they're covered by Medicaid. The working poor and lower middle class and others aren't always covered by insurance and don't make enough to afford insurance premiums. There should be a program for these people to get decent health insurance. Insurance is cheaper when people are grouped. So there should be a large pool of college students and of part-time employees. But they're stuck with expensive individual policies.

I supported Mrs. Clinton's plan. It failed.

I supported President Obama's plan, especially the public option. That would have gotten insurance for my kids. It failed. What passed is, in my opinion, not particularly helpful to anyone.

Why can't we get reform for health insurance? I think it's because we people have no power. I think to get anything positive done you need lobbyists and they cost money. Otherwise, the drug companies and insurance companies will just continue to heavily influence Congress.

I feel pretty jaded about trying to get changes to make life better for us. But I continue to try because I can't sit by and do nothing.

Later: Well...that was nice. It cost $60 of the money scraped together for the visit to pull the tooth for the dentist to look at an Xray he brought and decide not to do anything because the tooth is still infected. Their idea of "working with us" and "payment plan" involves getting a credit card. Ha! First of all, our credit is virtually destroyed and second of all we either might not get the amount we need OR the monthly payments might be too high for us.

TB is depressed and upset. He's been praying and praying for relief from the pain and to get his tooth fixed or extracted. I'm just mad. This is one of those days I think God is with the 1% or He's the CEO of Bank of America.

I've heard from other people so I know we're not alone suffering like this. I feel like the downtrodden people in the movie Network who got sick of it all and opened the windows to yell, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." A futile thing to do, but it helps with the anger.

Which bright lights decided this?

Way back when, I'd asked our Medicare Part D counselor about dental insurance since Medicare didn't cover it. He answered that getting dental insurance was way expensive and it would be cheaper just to pay out of pocket. Maybe he's was right then but we sure need the insurance now. I called Medicare to find out if they'd cover Ted's broken tooth since it's now an emergency and they said no.

I next called our secondary. Sometimes when the primary doesn't cover a service, the secondary will pick it up. That's when I discovered the dismaying news that the secondary is not allowed to. If it's not covered by Medicare, none of the secondaries can pick it up. I asked why and the representative could only tell me that's what the people in Washington decided.

Sure. These are the same people who enjoy full coverage of any type.

It makes no sense to exclude dental and vision from the elderly and the disabled. All of us need cavities filled or teeth pulled or root canaled or what have you. When a tooth goes bad and becomes infected, that infection can spread to the heart. That would lead to an emergency room visit and probably a hospital stay, maybe even death, and sure that's more costly than providing for routine visits so it never gets to that point. As for glasses, what's up with that? The older you are the more likely you are to need glasses. What are fixed income people supposed to do if there's no generous Lion's Club in the neighborhood? Drive around half blind? I guess so.

Hearing aids aren't covered either. As we get older, our hearing diminishes. TB is already pretty much deaf in both ears. Luckily he got hearing aids before he became totally disabled. I guess everyone else just has to take ASL classes. :P

If I ever get to the Take Over Philly protest, my signs would be about health insurance reform. I would like to see President Obama's original health bill passed but I think that will never happen unless there's a major rising. The Take Over movement has the right idea but they're not focused. Everyone's protesting different things and there's no real unity. People are just fed up with everything but I don't know that change can come of something that generic. :P

Everything is Going Up But My Income Blues

So there was a report out a couple of days ago that people's income has fallen even further since the recession "ended". It was no surprise to me and just pissed me off the rest of the hour. I guess I shouldn't watch the news with my coffee anymore. :P Well, what is the reason for that since we are in recovery? One is that there are more and more unemployed and underemployed people. Another is that hardly anyone is getting a raise anymore. Still another is that the price of everything is going up.

I noticed my grocery bill was getting higher although the stuff I was getting was basically the same. Lately I've been reading the receipts carefully to make sure I'm getting the sale prices. If it ain't on sale, I don't get it. Of course, with some things I have no choice, like eggs. For the five of us, I get 18 eggs and now they're $4.19! Sometimes I get a coupon for them and I use them whenever I do. Another is coffee. I used to be able to get coffee at Walmart for $5.99. Now it's closer to $10. That's for the larger size. I used to get hamburger meat for $.99 and whole chickens for $.69. Now they're $2.49 and $1.99 on sale respectively.

It's not just food. Our electric bill jumped up because they were allowed a rate increase. Our health insurance (the secondary to Medicare and prescription plan) both nearly doubled.

All of that has just about trashed our budget. It used to be that we had enough for the bills and expenses with a little left over to save or for unforeseen expenses. Now we have just enough to scrape by. We're supposed to have three to six months of income saved in case of an emergency; we don't even have a week's worth saved after the hits our savings took from the vet and the bankruptcy attorney.

So now we come to TB's tooth. We shared with our therapist about going to the dental schools in Newark or Philly and she came up with someone who might be able to help us who is closer. There is also a dentist that TB used to see. This afternoon I began calling around. The place the therapist suggested told me an extraction would cost between $160-$400. For one tooth.

The doctor TB used to see would charge between $100-$190 depending on how complicated the procedure is. For one tooth.

I think it wasn't so long ago you could get a tooth pulled for less than $100.

The dental schools might be free but this time around TB wants someone who has experience, not a student, to mess with his broken tooth.

Now I'm going to be checking into all the secondary health plans to see if any offer dental or vision. I think it's ridiculous that they don't. When you can't take care of your teeth and they go bad, it's dangerous. When you can't get glasses and have to drive on the road with ten year old prescriptions, it's bad.

It might be tiresome that all I do lately is rant and rave about depressing stuff like this but this is my life right now and I can't hide it anymore.

Rock on, Take Over Wall Street and Take Over Philadelphia and Take Over Wherever Movements!

Surgery or Not?

This time it's me considering surgery and not TB. When I was very heavy, the ligaments in my ankles or lower legs stretched out and my feet went flat. The problem is more pronounced in my left ankle. When I walk barefoot, it looks like my ankle could almost touch the floor. I've been wearing a brace on that foot for five years, at least. I have an insert for my right shoe.

Sometimes it hurts a lot. I definitely become uncomfortable standing or walking for any length of time. When I was heavy, the surgeon was reluctant to try surgery because, of course, the weight could just cause the ligament to fail again. I didn't like that answer but it made sense.

So now I've lost about 150 lbs with the switch. I thought, hmmm, maybe I can get my foot fixed now. If I worked as a teacher's aide or substitute teacher I'd be standing a lot. From the week I spent in the classroom in the spring, I know it would be hard as is. My orthopedic doctor sent me for an MRI of my foot and then referred me to a colleague who specializes in ankles and feet.

We saw him yesterday and he told me I had a "stage 2" posterior tibial tendon dysfunction. Whatever you call it, it's caused this flat foot and weakness. He had some weight bearing X-rays taken and it turns out I've got arthritis growing in too.

Then he talked about the ways we could treat it. Yes, he can do surgery. He'd have to take a tendon from a toe and put it in place of the stretched out tendon. I felt a little squeamish but that's not the end of it. He would also have to cut through bone to move my heel over! Full recovery and physical therapy would take a year! Yikes!

If that procedure didn't work, he would have to do more surgery involving opening my foot and messing with bones.

Another choice is to fuse my foot but then I wouldn't have movement in my ankle.

The third choice is to just keep going as is.

I had a plantar's wart on the bottom of my foot right where the doctor would have to make his incision. He wouldn't do anything anyway until that heals. Right now I've been seeing a dermatologist to try and freeze it off. The wart has been especially troublesome because the brace puts a lot of pressure on it. It hurts a lot to walk.

I have a lot of time to think this through. I'm not in excrutiating pain but then I don't do a lot of standing or walking either. I have a feeling I'd need the surgery if I wanted to get a job in a school. The idea of having my foot fused is totally unappealing right now. I'd want to do that only if I had a huge arthritis problem and was in agony.

I could always just let things alone and use a brace. Maybe I could work this way. I'm just not sure if I can and it would suck to get a job and then say oh, now I need to take a year off because I need this surgery.

I can take as long as I need to figure out what I want to do.

TB's shot cancelled :(

TB's been having terrible pain in his hip for months now. An x-ray showed some kind of floating body but no one could tell if it was in the hip joint or not. He had a shot of cortisone in his hip and the doctor used ultrasound to place it but it didn't help. He was sent for a cat scan and that test wasn't conclusive either. A surgeon who looked at it thought there might be a torn cartilage. Now, I don't get why fixing it wasn't the answer. The doctors wanted TB to have another cortisone shot, this time using a fluroscope machine.

His first appointment was scheduled for December 27 ... and we got 2 feet of snow dumped on us the day before. The appointment was rescheduled for today.

Just as we were getting ready to leave for Pennsylvania, though, the phone rang and my heart sank. We have to go to PA because apparently Medicare won't pay for the procedure at the surgery center in NJ. Thanks, Medicare! :P Anyway, the call was to tell us that the appointment had to be cancelled because "something came up". They'll call to reschedule it. That means TB has to wait longer and suffer some more before hopefully getting any relief at all.

I don't understand why pain isn't managed better for people. The doctors are reluctant and act like it's such a big deal ... like TB is just supposed to suck it up and deal with it. It's really hard to watch TB struggle with so much pain. Sometimes he breaks down and cries. Why can't the doctors be more compassionate? Don't they understand what a big deal it is to be put off and told to wait for help a little longer? Maybe if they were the ones suffering things would be different!

I'm about to scream, wail & gnash my teeth...

...because my husband needs stuff we can't afford. Those who have great medical coverage won't get it. Those who are in the same boat as us are probably going through something like this.

TB needs Cymbalta for the pain he's in all the time. It helps him not need so much morphine and percocet. The trouble is the cost because it's a name brand and there's no generic. It's expensive now with the crummy plan we have. Once we fall into the doughnut hole it'll really become unaffordable.

It's the same thing with testosterone. TB's tired all the time and needs to boost his levels. In addition, if he doesn't have enough he could suffer bone loss. You'd think this hormone is readily available in a generic--but it's also very expensive. And we'll have the same problem when we're in the doughnut hole.

With our luck, wouldn't you know that as soon as we pulled up from the doctor's office today the frames on TB's glasses broke. Know how expensive frames and lenses are for people with heavy duty prescriptions? The eye exam is probably covered but not a dollar for the frames or lenses.

So. TB has to have the glasses. As for the prescriptions, we are left with the choice: does TB go without or do we just stop paying someone? Like ... the mortgage company? I don't know that TB will get into one of the prescription programs offered by the manufacturers because they tend to be for those unfortunates without any insurance at all. So, once again, we are left with some tough choices.

This is one reason why we needed health insurance reform ... and it probably ain't gonna happen.

Wow! Break Needed Here!

Lord, I need a breather, please!

Ya ever have one of those days? One of those weeks? One of those months? It feels like it's becoming the norm around here and I need a breather. I haven't really even stopped long enough to mourn my father, to give it more than a few moments of thought, and then there's something that needs to be attended to, some place I need to be (usually a doctor's office).

I think TB's hit a wall after so much unrelenting pressure, running, and do-do-do. He was having muscle pain in his back (or he thought it was muscle pain) that started the day after his carpal tunnel surgery. I figured he was overdoing it and needed to rest. Mom thought he looked awful, drawn and sick. This morning he woke up with a fever, a wet cough, and more widespread pain. Uh-oh...pneumonia? So I made an appt with him to see Dr. Bross.

Kristin already had her usual Saturday appt so I dropped TB off and then took Kristin for hers. Then we went back to get TB. When I went in to pick him up, I really "saw" him the way my mom has these last couple of days. I wasn't surprised when he said Dr. Bross wanted him to go to the ER. The doc was sure TB had pneumonia but wanted the hospital to rule out a blood clot that may have been caused by the recent surgery.

So off we went. Luckily I was able to contact Heidi (poor kid's been home sick herself with bronchitis the last two days) to come and get Kristin from the ER. Even luckier, Bill wasn't working and said he could make dinner for us. So TB and I sat in the ER and waited for the X-ray, the bloodwork, the CAT scans, the results, the diagnosis, the release. We were there around 4 hours.

Now, we were supposed to be somewhere else--some place fun, some place we wanted to be. There was an International Fest in town and our church was having a table there. We were going to help with the table but I knew we'd have time to go around and check out the other tables. This is the kind of activity TB and I love--it gives us together time, it's fun...and it's free. With our financial situation, it's got to be free or we can't do it.

Funny thing is, yesterday TB and I were talking about how all the things we have to do seems to crowd out the things we want or need to do. What's worse, it's not that it's too much going-to-work, it's usually need-to-go-to-the-doctor or need-to-take-care-of-an-emergency type stuff. ARGH!

Anyway, now we're home. TB doesn't have a blood clot, thank God, but he does have early stage pneumonia. He's all washed-out looking and tired and weak. He has antibiotics now and is currently resting, reading a book. Hey, that's one fun, free thing we've been able to do no matter what doctor's office we've been to--we can read our books! That's a plus, right?

Our week also included me taking Heidi to the clinic because she had such bad bronchitis, she was wheezing like a squeeze organ--worse. There was physical therapy and other assorted doctor appointments. There was trying to help Mom with her unpacking and re-arranging of her things. There was the dog, biting himself bloody because of sand fleas.

The beginning of October came and went during the week.

When I sat down to read some news and entertainment magazines, I realized how out of touch I was lately. Philadelphia won the National League pennant? Hello? Who won for the American League? Michael Vick is back with the Eagles? Um...who is Michael Vick? There's an election this November? Oh, that's why I'm seeing Corzine trash Christie all the time then, huh? Christie seems to be taking the high road--no similar negative commercials about Corzine. What's the president up to? Oh...what's he doing running around Chicago? Oh...Chicago lost the bid to get the 2012 Olympics...where are the 2010 Olympics going to be anyway?

Most of all: where did September go? Why don't I remember it?

Lord, I need a break from this...

The last 10 days...

...have been really tough. I have piriformis syndrome, probably a result of the slipping disk problem I have in my lower back. It'd been getting worse over the last couple of weeks so I got the doctor to prescribe physical therapy for me, which should have started helping. Instead, I was in more pain the day after the session. I tried the stretching exercises anyway and then the pain & spasms were so bad that I couldn't stand up or walk. That was a day after I last posted.

I called the doctor back. I had an appt to see him July 27 but this couldn't wait. Unfortunately, he seemed to be totally booked up and I couldn't get squeezed in until the 24th, for crying out loud. Meanwhile, the doctor told me to take vicodin every 4 hours, use heat and rest. Because it was so painful to get up or walk, I just stayed in bed. I had my protein shakes, read books, watched a little TV, and played scrabble with Bill and didn't get up.

After nearly a week of this, a neighbor came over to visit. It turns out she's a massage therapist and knows about piriformis syndrome so she pressed down on the inflamed muscle/tendon and applied a lot of pressure. I got such relief from that--it was a real blessing! TB and Bill also applied the same kinds of pressure so I could get a little relief every day.

So I went to see the doctor on Friday and he prescribed valium to help relax the spasm. I'd wanted him to give me a shot to calm the area down but he couldn't. He needs some kind of -scope machine to guide him so he doesn't hit the sciatic nerve. Also, I seem to need some kind of pre-certification approval, grrr. As soon as I get that, I can get an appointment to get the shot I need.

The back is everything. If your back goes, you can't do anything and that's the truth!

The pain from this has been worse than childbirth and that is no lie or exaggeration.

On the up side:

I'm spending a lot of good quality time with family members, especially my son. TB and I usually do a lot of talking but not Bill and me. So we've been spending much more time together than we usually do and I like that a lot.

The cats have been attentive, climbing all over me which has really been kind of neat. Munchie is so sweet and has taken possession of TB and me. She's not thrilled with sharing us with the rest of the gang, LOL, but they are insistent on sharing the bed with us during the day.

I even lost more weight! Who'd'a thunk it???

My how time flies!

TB had athroscopic shoulder surgery Tuesday morning and I haven't been online much since then. He's doing really well! The surgeon told me that they did quite a bit of repairs: there was a large tear and two smaller ones in or around his rotator cuff; removed bone spurs and free floating "matter" (ew, what was it? broken off pieces of arthritic bone spur?); and snipped part of his biceps. He came home looking like he was wearing half of a football player's gear! You can see a picture of TB and read his post here. He describes the gear really well! I am really happy this time around because he's in a lot less pain than he was after the first time he had shoulder surgery (on the other side). It bothers him but not nearly so much. He is still having pain in his back and neck so we have a ways to go before he's feeling a whole lot better.

Heidi moved back in on Wednesday. She wasn't happy living at Marianne's house. I kind of had a feeling that would happen. When I went to help drive back some of her stuff, Mari's mother came out to talk to me--like I didn't know my own daughter! She warned me to stay on top of Heidi about taking her "happy" pills. Ha! She also said Heidi wasn't getting along because she would get so angry and scream. I said, I told you about that. Duh. Then she tells me that Heidi hasn't saved any money for college and that she probably won't be able to afford to go because she'd get turned down for financial aid because of her poor grades the last semester she'd gone. Apparently she didn't know that Heidi filed an appeal to be reconsidered because of her circumstances at the time. :P She told me I had to stay on top of her to make sure she calls to follow up! Please!

That night, Kristin was up all night--not because she was yakking or anything but because she couldn't sleep. The next day, she was having mood swings, rapid cycling between being high and low. That was a little scary.

I totally missed cats in boxes day for Feline Friday. Oh well...

We had Little T with us on Friday and that was a lot of fun! Here are some pictures of my two building engineers:


T and TB played with Lincoln logs in the afternoon when it grew too hot and we became too tired to go walking again


The Little T sideways look


TB the Builder


Surprise!


Tickle Tickle!

I'm really relieved that things went so well. We'd picked him up Monday afternoon and had to tote him around on some errands. He was terrific on the trips to the doctors' offices but then had a meltdown at the library that was pretty awful. :( It's a long story but we finally had to call Kennan to come get him because he'd planted his little heinie in front of the library sliding doors and we couldn't budge him! Reasoning didn't work, bribery didn't work, a swat on the butt didn't work and neither of us were strong enough to pick him up and carry him. We're concerned about being able to keep him safe as he gets bigger and stronger--it isn't all the time, but he's definitely got some oppositional defiant issues going on. :(

And...I weighed myself and found I'd lost another 2-1/2 lbs. Yay, me!

A Resentful Union

TB called his union this morning. When he was injured a couple of years ago, we were able to pay his co-pay portion of health insurance (a whole lot less expensive than COBRA) for two years. TB wanted to know if we could do that again, since he intends to go back to work once he has back surgery.

The union president was snotty with TB. He said the rules have changed and after a year, if you don't come back to work, you have to pay for COBRA or drop the insurance. The full COBRA payment for a family is $1200 a month and when TB said, how can we afford that? We have no income coming in. And the guy, Ralph, said snidely, "Exactly. And how have we been able to carry you for a year?"

What a thing to say to someone who has been a loyal hard working member of that crummy union for so many years? Loyal and hard working, yes, and let his body get all beat up too with no thanks at all--just resentment because now he needs help from doctors.

Screw that union. They're just blood suckers too.

I have to wait until we have no insurance before I can apply for NJ Family Care.