Two people came out from St. Vincent de Paul today. I didn't know what to expect since they told me very clearly that they couldn't help us with the mortgage. When they left, they got into their car and TB saw them carefully wiping their hands with those disposable disinfectant wipeys. The woman especially had a very haughty air about her, scolding us for leaving a light on and for having furniture (Billy and Heidi's) in storage. She's right, I know, but it's all in the presentation, you know? I felt stupid.
She asked if we'd contacted the Christian Caring Center and I said no, the last time I'd been in touch with them was to donate something. She and the man exchanged snooty glances, like what could I possibly have to donate? Yeah, guess what, we weren't always deadbeats, folks. There was a time when we could pay all our bills and still have omoney to burn. Remember, as a member of that generation that doesn't save, we didn't discipline ourselves to save for a rainy day of Noah's Ark proportions. This is our own doing, our own fault.
Once again the man and woman exchanged glances. Did they not believe us? Who knows?
They did bring us food which we accepted (see the title of the post?) and they did bring us a list of resources. But they left us with a feeling that somehow we'd dirtied them and so they needed to wipe their hands clean.
Our house isn't dirty. They didn't touch any of our stuff anyway except for the plastic table cloth which was clean. The only thing they touched was our hands, when we reached out to shake with them.
So it goes.
And a realtor told me today that he didn't want to be a barracuda and he wanted to play straight with me. "Don't sell unless you have to," he advised. The market is bad, especially in this neighborhood. This is the wrong time to put a house up on the market...but he also advised us not to wait too long if we decide we must sell.
So our next step now is to investigate bankruptcy. Oh...that was another thing. When I mentioned it to the people from St. Vincent de Paul, she wrinkled her nose like I'd said a bad word. She wondered if the laws had changed. I said we were just going to get advice from an attorney about it.
"You've declared bankruptcy before?" the man asked in a knowing way.
Yes, I did...when Rich was sick and we couldn't pay our bills. It was a medical bankruptcy, like this one would be. Is that something so horrible, so dreadfully shameful? You'd think I'd drowned kittens or something. :(
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6 comments:
What you are going through makes me furious.You work hard all your lives, then get knocked flat by illness and lose everything.You aren't a couple of fiscally irresponsible yuppies. I've seen this same thing happen to other people and it makes my blood boil. Credit couseling can be a rip-off and non-profits often don't offer the help they advertise.What a mess.This shouldn't happen to people in America.There should be some safety net to help out. Afterall, you paid taxes all these years.
Enough of my rant. Take care.
When the ex was injured and out of work, we had to get food stamps and other help. I hated being treated like we were some sort of subhuman idiots. I can't believe the treatment you are getting from so called "christian" assistance. That is disgusting! I have you in my prayers and hopefully something will come along soon to help you over this mountain. {{{{HUGS}}}}
(((((hugs)))))
No one should ever be treated that way, and especially not by people who are supposed to be helpful types. That's insulting!
Unfortunately, I have heard of other people being less than kind to those in need such as the de Paul folks. Some people need to feel superior to others. You are the better people as you are kind and compassionate.
I've been through very hard times in the past five years but I didn't have children to be concerned with. I would call my representatives including your senator's office for help at this point. I had a friend who was in dire straits do that and she got help. Try that if you haven't already. Call and/or send a fax to the rep's office locally and in D.C.
We are sending you lots of headbutts and purrs. We are sorry you had to deal with such stupid, mean and nasty people. Mommy says this is exactly why she has 12 cats in our house and no humans. Everybody in the world goes through hard times at some point in the lives...even them nasty snooty stupid people have or will one day. Just know that if we could come visit you, we would love to be in your house and be the best of friends with you 'cause you are good people!
Very truly yours,
Your friends,
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang
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