Let It Go

I've had a really nice productive day--meaning I've done things that I wanted to do. This morning I finished decorating the tree. I had a nice lunch and then took a two hour nap, which I really must have needed because I very nearly decided that we could have dinner at 8 and almost kept right on sleeping. Maybe I took such a long nap because I'd been worrying about my TB, who's been in so much extra pain since surgery.

When I got up, I thought that after I got dinner going I *should* do my Grace in Small Things post and another blog entry. Instead, though, I thought, hmmm, I think I'd rather sit in the living room with my daughter. Although she was busy on the computer, it was nice to be in the same room, occasionally talking to each other.

Okay, so after dinner I could do my GiST and blog posts.

Except ... my brother called and I really wanted to talk to him. We had a good long phone conversation and it felt so right to be able to talk to him. We've been so busy over the last few weeks, both of us either on the go all the time or rather stressed and pressed. This evening, both of us were pretty laid back and in a nice groove.

So now it was after 7 and The Amazing Race was nearly on--the finale, and I definitely wanted to watch that with TB. My son came in and joined us and cheered on the young couple that's been winning each leg of the race for weeks--Meghan and Cheyne. They won, too.

The evening's still early. I could go get in my posts except ... now I wanted to hang out with my son.

Now it's late and I started to feel stressed and pressed for the first time. I need to do my GiST at the very least ... and then a little voice said, would it be the end of the world if you didn't list five things today? Who would judge you for that ... except for you, yourself? You can go back to your list tomorrow.

Wow! What power, following that thought. Here I'm putting all this stress on myself for something that is supposed to be positive in my life. What is that but more "all or none" thinking? I have to get it all right or ... or... what? It's all coming from me. It doesn't have to be a certain way or posted at a certain time or even at all if I can't get to it!

The stress immediately dissipated.

I think I'm learning.

That's definitely a graceful moment--as was all of the things I experienced today.

And the pièce de résistance to the day: TB is feeling less pain now!