Tuesday, August 17

GiST #165 & Other Stuff

Grace in Small Things #165

1. Today I got my photo ID from the community college. Now I have ID where the picture looks like me!

2. I also picked up the books I needed for my classes. My, they are so heavy! I'm going to need one of those rolling book bags!

3. I made a biiiiig mistake with my counted cross stitch project but had enough left from another one to cut a new piece so I could start over

4. The kids are cooperating with Project Flea Day! It's nice to get cooperation.

5. Coffee in the afternoon!

Is your family life the way you imagined it would be? If not, what can you do to change it?

We're in the process of trying to change the family dynamics now, through counseling.

Truthfully, while things are not all they could be, they're not so terrible either. We don't have delinquent kids in trouble with the law or truant or who steal or anything like that. What we basically have is a big communication breakdown.

Although some of our communication problems have been going on since the kids were small, some started after Rich died. I think all of us were grieving in our own way and even though we went to bereavement sessions, not everything was resolved.

There's a lot of hurt, misunderstanding and anger between family members.

Some of that comes from blending-family-syndrome.

The therapy we're doing basically involves trying to learn new ways of communicating.

Most recently we were talking about the "roles" all of us take. Personally, I'm sick of it and would like to see these roles change or just. go. away.

It's an on going process. On the up side again, the therapist says we're making a lot of progress!

I would like to emulate my grandma because... she is the one who taught me everything I needed to know about being a loving mother and grandmother. My grandmother was my "port in a storm" when I was little. I loved going to stay at her house and getting away from the intense craziness/chaos that was life with mother's temper.

My grandmother would take me shopping with her and let me pick out Little Golden Books for her library. I was a little disappointed that I couldn't take them home with me but this is how I learned to share. I had a brother and other cousins that needed to enjoy those books too.

Grandma would set a formal table for lunch and so I learned all about place setting. Looking back, I realize what a special thing it was for a little child to be treated like an important guest--several forks, sandwich plate, bowl, cup and saucer, etc--and not like some little kid. She would talk with me--not to me or at me.

Little things were fun. We'd go berry picking or to the beach. Something as simple as sitting in the kitchen and watching the birds and squirrels could be so relaxing and so interesting. Grandma knew lots of things about the birds.

I liked squirrels but it turned out Grandma thought they were pests. One day a squirrel was shinnying up the pole for the bird house and Grandma went ballistic. She grabbed a broom and tore out of the kitchen into the yard, swinging the broom and terrorizing the squirrel. When I was able to speak after rolling around laughing, I asked her why she did it and learned it was because the squirrel would steal the birds' food.

When I was with Grandma, I felt normal. I felt loved.

I always wanted to emulate her because that's the way I'd want my kids and grandkids to feel. I hope I got it a little right.


crazymomw4kids said...

I wish that I could be there in counseling with you guys. I agree that blending a family is hard. Fortunatley for me I was already grown and out on my own when you and my dad got married. I know how you feel about your grandma. I feel the same about mine and I can't imagine my life without her!

Nessa said...

I always found the beginning of school so exciting. Have lots of fun.

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