The circus was hit by a tornado

There was a 3 ring circus today with a cast of characters as long as your arm. The ringmaster wasn't apparent at first but it turned out to be the Mistress of Melodrama, the one who cares nothing about anyone else, manipulating and spinning everyone who came into her path intentionally or not. You could make a movie out of this because also at the center of things is a very adorable and loving little child, an innocent who would tug the heart strings of the most heartless unfeeling person in the room.

And so we had everything you could possibly imagine in a day. We had the police swooping down on us for the second time in two days. We had the well intentioned grandfather trying to spare the child from further pain and disruption by taking the little one back to his father. We had the state police threatening to arrest that father who had to bring the child in, kicking, screaming and fighting not to go to the mother. You see, kids know.

Well, what! And why did all this drama come about? This wasn't the way it should have happened and so in the middle of the night you've got the grandparents and probably the father unable to sleep, tormented by guilt and the woulda coulda shouldas. As for the why of it all...

Almost from the day she moved in, I have been silent about all the shenanigans, the lies, the betrayals and the heartbreak of having her here. She was here only because of the child, the little one we meant to protect from her by keeping them both close. Those good intentions eroded and deteriorated under the onslaught, the never ending stress of the mother's behavior. What is wrong with her? Somewhere there is a missing piece of her, something that either hasn't been there from birth or somehow was lost along the way.

After two long hard years, there finally came a breaking point. There was something that we just could not abide anymore and if she was not willing to fix it and do the right thing, she had to go. But it shouldn't have ended in they way it did and that's where the guilt and agonizing comes in. Over these last two years, we realized how the Mistress of Manipulation deceived us about everything, including the nature of the father. He'd been painted as abusive and controlling and, in reality, it's the other way around.

When the breaking point came, we realized the child would be much better off with his father and that's how we wanted it to go. But one verbal slip led to another and the next thing you know, we had this horrendous Donnybrook, this tornado of events that just spun out of control and hurt everyone...except the one who created it, the one who is probably sleeping peacefully because she's "won".

Nobody won. And the biggest loser of all is the child. That's why there's the heart break and the agony and the endless litany of self-blame and guilt.

Woulda coulda shoulda.