What a nightmare

Some days watching Little T goes very smoothly for us and some days are difficult. Today was just awful and I'm in tears. Linda was supposed to have visitation with the little guy from 4-7 but she never called and never showed up. The other night a Manchester County detective was looking for her, to ask her some questions. Hmmm.

I don't think Little T knew his mother was supposed to come. She is so unreliable that I don't tell him anything until she's there. When we got in the door from picking him up at school, he wanted to play in the family room with the dog. Well, the dog goes bonkers and gets out of control so we usually go outside for that except it was way too cold today and Little T was just over a virus. The dog got to barking and acting wild so we put him out in the yard and that's when the trouble started.

T kept trying to open the door to let the dog back in. We said no and when he got it that we weren't kidding, he threw himself on the ground and began kicking--the door, the floor and anyone who got in the way.

Little T does have some pervasive behavior issues--they occur everywhere and with everyone so I know we weren't singled out. There are times when he just won't give in and listen. He wants what he wants and he wants it NOW and nothing will deter him. While he had this particular tantrum we just moved him away from the door and everyone got clear of him and we waited for him to calm down and start playing happily with his toys as he usually does but he wouldn't.

He got up and began messing with the entertainment center's glass doors, swinging them back and forth or kicking at them. I told him to stop or he'd have to sit on the naughty step and he just ignored me. If I'd been alone, I would have been screwed because he is too strong for me to handle. As it was, Kristin had to wrap her arms around him to keep him from getting back to the entertainment center and trying to break it. He was flailing out with his arms and legs and could have hurt someone or himself.

After four minutes, he'd calmed down so I went to him and said, we put you on the naughty step because you wouldn't listen. I need you to say you're sorry. And he said, NO. And tried to go right back to the entertainment center.

I'm too old for this. I called Kennan, explained what happened and that Linda never showed up. He said he was sick and was sending his mother to get T. So for the next 40 minutes, we had more of the same and I was exhausted and near tears. Then all of a sudden, the sun came out, he was sorry and went into the living room to play with his V-tech and game.

About 5 minutes later, Kennan's mom showed up. We commiserated another few minutes about the difficulties both of us were having as well as T's aunt, his teacher, and even his father. The teacher mentioned calling in a behaviorist for a consult and I mentioned to Vicky that this would be a good idea because T is getting bigger and stronger every day.

Now it was time for T to go home and at first I thought he was going to pitch another fit but he got his coat and hat on willingly and I thought the storm was over. Then he signed 'milk' and ran into the kitchen. Looking back, I should have just given him a cup to take in the car. That's not the way we went, though. Vicky said she'd give him milk at home and I said I would give him milk tomorrow. He stood with his foot blocking the fridge door from closing and wouldn't budge.

The whole thing started all over again. He collapsed to the floor, wouldn't get up, wouldn't have anything to do with leaving. Vicky called Kennan on the phone and he talked sternly to T to no avail. Then we decided that Bill would just have to pick T up and carry him to the truck. At that point, T decided to take the dignified way out and walk on his own two feet.

I am so drained. I'm aware that behavior issues like these can be co-morbid with PDD-NOS but I really don't know how to handle it at this point. I don't want to put Kennan in a tough spot by saying I can't watch T every day anymore but I need strategies and I just don't know what to do. :(

Earlier in the afternoon I had my appointment with the pulmonologist to clear me for surgery. TB came along with me. I really liked this guy. He was very thorough and ordered a stress test for me. I have to go back later in January for the test and it's two parts because of my weight. :P I tell you, that will be a piece of cake compared to today. I bet they'd have gotten a better read of my heart under stress today!

I still haven't decided which surgery yet to choose. More on my confusion another time.