More Depressing Stuff

None of us have been feeling so great this weekend. I lost my voice on Thursday and have been feeling kind of pukey since. Yesterday, Billy had some kind of virus and was sick to his stomach to the point where he called out of work. He hung out in the family room, just relaxing, sipping fluids and trying not to puke.

Heidi came home from work around 9. I knew she wanted to have her friend Marianne come over and I hadn't really thought about Billy being sick in the family room. He was watching a movie that would end at ten and Heidi began yelling at him and telling him he'd been in the family room long enough and it was time to go upstairs. Even Kristin was chiming in on that (although not as loudly).

I told Heidi to stop that. Billy lives here too, he's sick and she shouldn't be telling him to get out of the family room. Billy said he just wanted to watch until the end of his movie and then he'd go upstairs. That wasn't good enough for Heidi so then TB and I said she should go to Marianne's instead.

As she stormed upstairs for something, Heidi was muttering (loud enough for us to hear) that she "fucking hated" us. TB goes, "I heard that, you can't talk that way to us! You can stay upstairs."

Heidi goes, "What? I don't have to listen to you--I'm going out."

And TB goes, "Good--stay out!"

More cursing, slamming of doors and then Heidi goes out the front door. I hear the garbage pails outside sailing around and suddenly she comes in the back door into the family room and starts attacking Billy again, with Kristin joining in again.

I yell at her to get out, go to Marianne's. She yells she's here for a movie but does go slamming out and leaves.

TB is saying to me, I can't stand this anymore.

I'm shaking.

Kristin goes upstairs crying saying she's mad at Billy.

For crying out loud!!!

We finished watching our movie and then I realized I'd gotten two cell phone text messages from Heidi, one that says she thinks about killing herself everyday but I'm too busy worrying about TB to notice and the other that she misses talking to me.

I texted her back right away but get no answer. Then I try calling her phone--and Marianne's...still no answer. I told TB about the messages and he suggested I call intervention--which is probably what we should have done in the first place but everything happened so damn fast!

They can't do anything because we don't know where Heidi is. They suggest I keep trying to get ahold of Heidi and find out her frame of mind.

So I call and call and finally Marianne answers the phone and I ask if Heidi is there. She is and I ask to speak to her. She's very upset but has calmed down and doesn't seem to be suicidal (although she does say she thinks about it). She says she's staying over with Marianne and will probably be there all day Sunday because she "just can't deal with Ted."

It's always someone else's fault. I feel like crying because she desperately needs help and I don't know what to do anymore.