Is it just supermarkets or are there other companies that make you go to their doctors when you get injured? I've been injured on the job before (in the 1980s) and I got to go to my own doctors and emergency room--places convenient to me. I didn't work for a supermarket though. Now both of my daughters have been injured on the job in two different supermarkets. They were both told they had to go to specific places to be treated and that if they didn't, they'd have to pay the bill.
What?
Is that because of some special deal worked out between the supermarket and the medical facility? I think so...and how do I know my daughters would get the appropriate care? The facility would tend to favor the employer, no?
What happened this most recent time was this: Heidi was preparing some food and cut her pinkie badly. People felt she needed to go to the required facility in Cherry Hill, a good 20 minutes away at least. The thing is, no one especially wanted to take her (except for one person) and she had no way of getting herself there. She shouldn't have driven herself in any case anyway because of shock. So Heidi would have had to wait 45 minutes for me to come out there and then drive her to this place. The bleeding stopped so Heidi decided the hell with it, she'd just come home on the bus.
When I picked her up, she told me what happened and asked if I would help her wash the wound and re-bandage it. We stopped at the store and picked up gauze and tape. When we got home, Heidi took off the dressing and the bleeding started again. There was a lot of it and when TB got a look, he said she'd need stitches. So our choice was ... drive to this place in Cherry Hill, an hour away, or go to the ER five minutes away. Duh. No brainer.
It took six stitches to close that cut, including one in the nail. The ER doc gave Heidi a note so she could be out of work two days. Yesterday we went to the store where Heidi works so she and the manager could fill out an accident report. It should have been done the night before but for some reason the manager just told her to come back. That pissed me off.
Now she has to go to this place to have her finger looked at ... after she works her shift. And she has to go back to have the stitches removed. Meanwhile, our doctor is a lot closer. Who cares how much it inconveniences us and how much gas it costs us?
Maybe I'm crazy but it seems to me that if the employee has to provide his or her own transportation after an injury, then that employee shouldn't be forced to go somewhere miles away. And when an employee is injured, transportation to and from a facility should be provided. And the manager should be required to sit down and fill out an accident report then and there, not tell the employee "come back tomorrow".
I am spectacularly unimpressed with the way supermarkets exploit their employees!
Showing posts with label Adult Children Blues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adult Children Blues. Show all posts
Sunday, February 12
Thursday, October 6
Update
I've been absent for nearly a month, for many reasons. One has been a sort of "brain freeze" for writing. There's been a certain blahness and sameness to the day-in day-out stuff and the pains of financial struggles. I do want to get back into blogging more regularly though and thought to start out with an update.
Poor Cubby developed a horrendous infection in his tail. We're not sure how it happened but suspect that Munchkin may have scratched or bitten him. We didn't realize anything was wrong until the infection had progressed so far the vet thought Cubby might lose part of his tail! TB and I had him isolated in the office to keep him away from the rest of the gang. We were applying medication to his tail and giving him oral antibiotics. We had compresses on his tail to help the infection drain. We sat with him a lot to keep him company and so that he wouldn't knock off the compresses or worry his tail. Well, it all paid off because he's healed beautifully and didn't lose his expressive tail!
I was in a great deal of pain one day and ended up going to the emergency room with TB. It turns out I had a kidney infection. I had a cat scan of my kidneys and there might be an adenoma on the left side. I also seem to have a hiatal hernia which isn't really bothering me. Anyway, I'm seeing a kidney specialist about the adenoma later this month.
TB's in more pain than ever because he has this cracked tooth that has exposed the pulp. I persuaded him to go to the doctor for an antibiotic while he waited for a dental appointment. It's true he should have gone to the dentist when it first cracked but, he told me, it didn't hurt and we didn't have the money for the appointment. We don't have dental coverage. Now, though, it's become critical and so we called for the earliest appointment. It's today. Also today, TB's seeing the kidney specialist because he's got a lot of protein in his urine. It could be damage from the diabetes he'd had for so many years ... or maybe he's just taking in too much protein.
I was doing more chauffeuring than usual in the last 2 weeks due to broken down cars and what have you. No one can afford to get a car fixed, including TB and me. Luckily the car trouble Heidi had seemed to be related to a disconnected hose and was easily fixed.
I started working with my therapist on PTSD issues and my writing. I'm hoping this 12 week program helps. So far I'm not noticing a difference.
Here are the two memories that most interfere with my writing:
When I was a little kid--maybe 2nd grade--I wrote this story about a couple of kids, a talking black-eyed Susan and a magic flying carpet. Apparently my teacher submitted it to a local paper and they published it in their Sunday magazine. My teacher told me about it and I went home proudly and told my mom. She didn't believe me and got really angry with me, calling me a liar. No one would publish one of my stories in the paper! I felt confused and ashamed and scared. The next day, the teacher wanted to know what my family thought and I told her they didn't believe me. She gave me the magazine to show my mother. My mom apologized but it was sort of too late. I already doubted whether or not I could really write.
The other memory is from when I was about 12. I would hide my writings in my desk. I came home from school one day to find my mother holding my notebook in her hand, spitting fire and rage in her eyes. I'd been writing about a family with an "evil" stepmother and apparently my mom recognized herself. I didn't think I'd intended to write a story about my mother and actually remember very little about it except denying frantically that the stepmother was my mother. It didn't feel safe to write anymore and that's when most of the freeze started.
Sometimes I have strong bursts of inspiration and I have to write. I had one of these bursts ten years ago, when I wrote some fan fiction. Other times I've had some inspiration but it's but rare and far between. I know I can do it, though, because I took a creative writing class and, under the pressure of a deadline, I was able to produce.
The rest of the time, though, I'm just filled with doubts and self-recrimination.
Well, with this therapy, I'm supposed to read the memories over every day to lessen the impact. I also pick out different incidents, write down what happened, what I tell myself, and what I think as a result of all of it.
I thought about tracking my progress over the remaining weeks of therapy. I guess we'll see if I follow through with it!
Poor Cubby developed a horrendous infection in his tail. We're not sure how it happened but suspect that Munchkin may have scratched or bitten him. We didn't realize anything was wrong until the infection had progressed so far the vet thought Cubby might lose part of his tail! TB and I had him isolated in the office to keep him away from the rest of the gang. We were applying medication to his tail and giving him oral antibiotics. We had compresses on his tail to help the infection drain. We sat with him a lot to keep him company and so that he wouldn't knock off the compresses or worry his tail. Well, it all paid off because he's healed beautifully and didn't lose his expressive tail!
I was in a great deal of pain one day and ended up going to the emergency room with TB. It turns out I had a kidney infection. I had a cat scan of my kidneys and there might be an adenoma on the left side. I also seem to have a hiatal hernia which isn't really bothering me. Anyway, I'm seeing a kidney specialist about the adenoma later this month.
TB's in more pain than ever because he has this cracked tooth that has exposed the pulp. I persuaded him to go to the doctor for an antibiotic while he waited for a dental appointment. It's true he should have gone to the dentist when it first cracked but, he told me, it didn't hurt and we didn't have the money for the appointment. We don't have dental coverage. Now, though, it's become critical and so we called for the earliest appointment. It's today. Also today, TB's seeing the kidney specialist because he's got a lot of protein in his urine. It could be damage from the diabetes he'd had for so many years ... or maybe he's just taking in too much protein.
I was doing more chauffeuring than usual in the last 2 weeks due to broken down cars and what have you. No one can afford to get a car fixed, including TB and me. Luckily the car trouble Heidi had seemed to be related to a disconnected hose and was easily fixed.
I started working with my therapist on PTSD issues and my writing. I'm hoping this 12 week program helps. So far I'm not noticing a difference.
Here are the two memories that most interfere with my writing:
When I was a little kid--maybe 2nd grade--I wrote this story about a couple of kids, a talking black-eyed Susan and a magic flying carpet. Apparently my teacher submitted it to a local paper and they published it in their Sunday magazine. My teacher told me about it and I went home proudly and told my mom. She didn't believe me and got really angry with me, calling me a liar. No one would publish one of my stories in the paper! I felt confused and ashamed and scared. The next day, the teacher wanted to know what my family thought and I told her they didn't believe me. She gave me the magazine to show my mother. My mom apologized but it was sort of too late. I already doubted whether or not I could really write.
The other memory is from when I was about 12. I would hide my writings in my desk. I came home from school one day to find my mother holding my notebook in her hand, spitting fire and rage in her eyes. I'd been writing about a family with an "evil" stepmother and apparently my mom recognized herself. I didn't think I'd intended to write a story about my mother and actually remember very little about it except denying frantically that the stepmother was my mother. It didn't feel safe to write anymore and that's when most of the freeze started.
Sometimes I have strong bursts of inspiration and I have to write. I had one of these bursts ten years ago, when I wrote some fan fiction. Other times I've had some inspiration but it's but rare and far between. I know I can do it, though, because I took a creative writing class and, under the pressure of a deadline, I was able to produce.
The rest of the time, though, I'm just filled with doubts and self-recrimination.
Well, with this therapy, I'm supposed to read the memories over every day to lessen the impact. I also pick out different incidents, write down what happened, what I tell myself, and what I think as a result of all of it.
I thought about tracking my progress over the remaining weeks of therapy. I guess we'll see if I follow through with it!
Monday, May 10
GiST #128 (weekend edition)
I had a pretty nice weekend all things considered and weighed out!
1. I still didn't feel well enough to go see The Winter Tale but gave my ticket to Bill so he could go and enjoy it.
2. I found out Linda and her husband Jay are moving to TN in like 10 days and stayed calm. I worked my first step which is all about powerlessness. There is nothing I can do or say to convince her otherwise although I did express my view that this isn't good for Little T and probably a really bad idea for Linda and Jay. I have learned if I do more, I'll just go mad with frustration and aggravation so this is a good thing. It's called detaching with love.
Besides, Linda moving doesn't affect how often TB and I can see Little T.
I decided to play the denial game a little and not think about how another grandchild (the baby due in July) will be out of reach for us. I won't go there. Won't won't won't.
3. I felt well enough Sunday to go with TB and Little T to the large playground that just reopened in our area. I like Ft. Medford better but this one is awesome and closer! I worked muscles I haven't gone near in years and am feeling it this morning. Pain meds are good for nanas who play like six-year-olds!
4. I totally let myself be spoiled and pampered yesterday. It felt good! I enjoyed the beautiful card and gifts from the kids and TB. What a fantastic Mother's Day!
5. TB changed the oil--desperately needed--and will work on the back brakes. This is part of our plan to get to Maryland to work with my brother to get some more stuff resolved. One day at a time!
1. I still didn't feel well enough to go see The Winter Tale but gave my ticket to Bill so he could go and enjoy it.
2. I found out Linda and her husband Jay are moving to TN in like 10 days and stayed calm. I worked my first step which is all about powerlessness. There is nothing I can do or say to convince her otherwise although I did express my view that this isn't good for Little T and probably a really bad idea for Linda and Jay. I have learned if I do more, I'll just go mad with frustration and aggravation so this is a good thing. It's called detaching with love.
Besides, Linda moving doesn't affect how often TB and I can see Little T.
I decided to play the denial game a little and not think about how another grandchild (the baby due in July) will be out of reach for us. I won't go there. Won't won't won't.
3. I felt well enough Sunday to go with TB and Little T to the large playground that just reopened in our area. I like Ft. Medford better but this one is awesome and closer! I worked muscles I haven't gone near in years and am feeling it this morning. Pain meds are good for nanas who play like six-year-olds!
4. I totally let myself be spoiled and pampered yesterday. It felt good! I enjoyed the beautiful card and gifts from the kids and TB. What a fantastic Mother's Day!
5. TB changed the oil--desperately needed--and will work on the back brakes. This is part of our plan to get to Maryland to work with my brother to get some more stuff resolved. One day at a time!
Sunday, May 2
Letters I'm not mailing, GiST, and other memes
One thing my therapist is having me do is write letters to my parents. This time around, I'm not mailing them. I'd sent letters in the past to my parents, angry and detailing all the injuries they'd caused me. I didn't feel any better, mainly because they didn't react as I inwardly hoped. I sent two letters a few months apart about 20 years ago.
I realize now that I'd hoped when they received the letters, they'd come to their senses and apologize. Instead, their reaction was to write back and say something to the effect of "why are you bringing up the past?" and "we are who we are and aren't going to change." Boy, that really upset me! My therapist at the time asked mildly, "What did you expect?" Then we talked about why on earth my parents would react the way I wanted them to when they never had before!
Most recently, I felt angry with my mother for talking so negatively against my father when I was growing up. When they'd have a fight, she'd try to get my brother and me to take her side. I remember a few times saying to her, "Please don't tell me this stuff. I'm not a marriage counselor!" And she'd answer she had no one else to talk to. I felt guilty for not wanting to listen sympathetically but at the same time, I didn't want to know the things she told me and all of it made me sick.
It also gave me a skewed view of my father. I think I saw him as the bad guy and monster more because of what my mom said than anything else. When I look back and remember, my dad never did anything mean to me and he never hit or harmed me. That was my mom. Yet, I blamed him for things going wrong. My mom alienated me against my father.
Susan asked me to write a letter to both parents (separately) about that. These are letters that won't be mailed and I'm fine with that. That's what the first therapist said, too, that the letters shouldn't have to be mailed but I didn't want to listen. I wanted them to know and I wanted their reaction.
Now it's not necessary. Dad is gone and as for Mom--well, she didn't set out to damage anyone. My parents were both hurt in some way themselves and so they didn't know any better. They are and were of an age where you just didn't go get fixed because psychiatrists and therapists were for "crazy" people. It almost seems silly to write a letter that's not going to be mailed but I know it will help to get some of these feelings out. I can pretend I mailed the letter to my mom.
Grace in Small Things #124
1. I didn't have to drive anyone anywhere today! Kristin didn't have work nor did she have play rehearsal. I did take her to the bank because I felt like it and there was a charity flea market in the parking lot. Kristin picked up a couple of bargains!
2. The washing machine is still running! TB and Kristin have done a couple of loads of wash and so far, so good!
3. A thick coat of pollen is lying over everything outside but I'm indoors, windows closed and air conditioning running. I don't like running it this early in the year but it is very hot and we're saving our sinuses this way!
4. I got in a very nice nap this afternoon.
5. I found an easy recipe for chicken to try out.
Straight Out of the Camera Sunday
I posted this picture not long ago but it's definitely one of my favorites!
TB enjoys playing on the equipment with our grandson
Sunday Stealing: The Question Meme
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? Yes, married
02) What was your dream growing up? I wanted to be a writer
03) What talent do you wish you had? I'd like to be more artistic
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? Coffee
05) Favorite vegetable? Broccoli
06) What was the last book you read? The Circus Fire by Stewart O'Nan
07) What zodiac sign are you? Sagittarius
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. Nope
09) Worst Habit? Procrastination
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? Not if you were a stranger
11) What is your favorite sport? Bowling
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? Half of each
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Strike up a conversation
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? Lost my first husband
15) Tell me one weird fact about you. My fingers and thumbs are getting crooked
16) Do you have any pets? Oh brother do I ever!
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? I'd invite you in
18) What was your first impression of me? Who are you?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Both
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I'd get rid of the excess skin
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? Conscience
22) What color eyes do you have? Brown
23) Ever been arrested? No
24) Bottle or can soda? Bottle
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? Go to Hawaii with TB ... well, I'd probably make sure we were all caught up first. :P
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at? Home. zzzzz
27) Do you believe in ghosts? Yes
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Read
29) Do you swear a lot? Probably
30) Biggest pet peeve? When you have to ask someone to do something over and over and over
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Complex
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance? I think so?
33) Favorite and least favorite food? Favorite: Prime rib Least favorite: Liver
34) Do you believe in God? Yes
35) Will you join us this week for Wednesday Wickedness? (Bud has on a mission to make this Wednesday's most popular meme. Please play this week so I can stop promoting it.) Um, maybe? If I remember...
Unconscious Mutterings
I realize now that I'd hoped when they received the letters, they'd come to their senses and apologize. Instead, their reaction was to write back and say something to the effect of "why are you bringing up the past?" and "we are who we are and aren't going to change." Boy, that really upset me! My therapist at the time asked mildly, "What did you expect?" Then we talked about why on earth my parents would react the way I wanted them to when they never had before!
Most recently, I felt angry with my mother for talking so negatively against my father when I was growing up. When they'd have a fight, she'd try to get my brother and me to take her side. I remember a few times saying to her, "Please don't tell me this stuff. I'm not a marriage counselor!" And she'd answer she had no one else to talk to. I felt guilty for not wanting to listen sympathetically but at the same time, I didn't want to know the things she told me and all of it made me sick.
It also gave me a skewed view of my father. I think I saw him as the bad guy and monster more because of what my mom said than anything else. When I look back and remember, my dad never did anything mean to me and he never hit or harmed me. That was my mom. Yet, I blamed him for things going wrong. My mom alienated me against my father.
Susan asked me to write a letter to both parents (separately) about that. These are letters that won't be mailed and I'm fine with that. That's what the first therapist said, too, that the letters shouldn't have to be mailed but I didn't want to listen. I wanted them to know and I wanted their reaction.
Now it's not necessary. Dad is gone and as for Mom--well, she didn't set out to damage anyone. My parents were both hurt in some way themselves and so they didn't know any better. They are and were of an age where you just didn't go get fixed because psychiatrists and therapists were for "crazy" people. It almost seems silly to write a letter that's not going to be mailed but I know it will help to get some of these feelings out. I can pretend I mailed the letter to my mom.
1. I didn't have to drive anyone anywhere today! Kristin didn't have work nor did she have play rehearsal. I did take her to the bank because I felt like it and there was a charity flea market in the parking lot. Kristin picked up a couple of bargains!
2. The washing machine is still running! TB and Kristin have done a couple of loads of wash and so far, so good!
3. A thick coat of pollen is lying over everything outside but I'm indoors, windows closed and air conditioning running. I don't like running it this early in the year but it is very hot and we're saving our sinuses this way!
4. I got in a very nice nap this afternoon.
5. I found an easy recipe for chicken to try out.
I posted this picture not long ago but it's definitely one of my favorites!
TB enjoys playing on the equipment with our grandson
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? Yes, married
02) What was your dream growing up? I wanted to be a writer
03) What talent do you wish you had? I'd like to be more artistic
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? Coffee
05) Favorite vegetable? Broccoli
06) What was the last book you read? The Circus Fire by Stewart O'Nan
07) What zodiac sign are you? Sagittarius
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. Nope
09) Worst Habit? Procrastination
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? Not if you were a stranger
11) What is your favorite sport? Bowling
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? Half of each
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Strike up a conversation
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? Lost my first husband
15) Tell me one weird fact about you. My fingers and thumbs are getting crooked
16) Do you have any pets? Oh brother do I ever!
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? I'd invite you in
18) What was your first impression of me? Who are you?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Both
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I'd get rid of the excess skin
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? Conscience
22) What color eyes do you have? Brown
23) Ever been arrested? No
24) Bottle or can soda? Bottle
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? Go to Hawaii with TB ... well, I'd probably make sure we were all caught up first. :P
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at? Home. zzzzz
27) Do you believe in ghosts? Yes
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Read
29) Do you swear a lot? Probably
30) Biggest pet peeve? When you have to ask someone to do something over and over and over
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Complex
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance? I think so?
33) Favorite and least favorite food? Favorite: Prime rib Least favorite: Liver
34) Do you believe in God? Yes
35) Will you join us this week for Wednesday Wickedness? (Bud has on a mission to make this Wednesday's most popular meme. Please play this week so I can stop promoting it.) Um, maybe? If I remember...
- Creepy :: Kooky
- Links :: Hyper
- Sane :: Crazy
- Bun :: Bagel
- Visual :: Audio
- Remote :: Far
- Freaking :: Far ... out
- Curly :: Straight
- Saga :: Tale
- Different :: Same
Tuesday, October 20
Notme and Ida Know Begone!
Here's what I wrote on my previous blog, Scribblings:
Well, here it is just short of six years later. Notme and Ida Know are still residents here, older, lazier and sloppier to the point of piggy-ness. Notme and Ida Know still have no boundaries when it comes to swiping things or making messes.
Who took Gramma's pop tarts? They're hers--she paid for them!
Notme.
Notme.
Notme.
ARGH, who left the big mess in the bathroom?
Ida Know.
Ida Know.
Ida Know.
And WHO trashed the TV room upstairs and left all the plates, candy wrappers and soda bottles lying around?
Notme.
Notme.
Notme.
What happened to that big jar of strawberry preserves we bought yesterday?
Ida Know.
Ida Know.
Ida Know.
Who's going to pay to replace all these things?
FRANKLY, MY DEAR, WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN! It's just not gonna be one of us!
What a minute! Who are you?
Notme and Ida Know, that's who!
This time, my mom's the one who has to hide her treats. TB and I long ago gave up buying extras. We're so tired of having to hide it from Notme and Ida Know. TB locked the TV room door this afternoon. Maybe that's the only way to keep Notme and Ida Know out. The kids will say: not fair! We say, take it out on Notme and Ida Know.
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Maybe someday Notme and Ida Know will move away. Gosh, wouldn't that be nice????
December 09, 2003
Notme & Ida Know
When I used to read the newspaper, my favorite part was the funnies section. I loved reading a cartoon called Family Circus by Bil Keane. His cartoons centered on a family, mom, dad, and 4 kids.
The ones I liked best also featured the invisible Notme and Ida Know. These creatures were to blame for everything. All they did was get into mischief and cause trouble.
Who spilled the juice??
Notme.
Notme.
Notme.
Or: What happened to the box of popcorn??
Ida Know.
Ida Know.
Ida Know.
It was frustrating because you could never catch Notme and Ida Know. It's especially frustrating because Notme and Ida Know have come to live in our house.
Who drank up two cartons of the eggnog TB bought the other day?
It was Notme and Ida Know.
The girls and I spent a couple of hours making chocolate chip cookies last night. It was fun and we were looking forward to enjoying them this week. This morning when I came into the kitchen, half the batch was gone. I didn't even need to ask before I knew the answer.
Now I have to hide the cookies and other goodies from Notme and Ida Know. It's absolutely ridiculous.
I hope Notme and Ida Know get bored soon and move on to torment some other family but somehow, I don't think that's going to happen! :P
Well, here it is just short of six years later. Notme and Ida Know are still residents here, older, lazier and sloppier to the point of piggy-ness. Notme and Ida Know still have no boundaries when it comes to swiping things or making messes.
Who took Gramma's pop tarts? They're hers--she paid for them!
Notme.
Notme.
Notme.
ARGH, who left the big mess in the bathroom?
Ida Know.
Ida Know.
Ida Know.
And WHO trashed the TV room upstairs and left all the plates, candy wrappers and soda bottles lying around?
Notme.
Notme.
Notme.
What happened to that big jar of strawberry preserves we bought yesterday?
Ida Know.
Ida Know.
Ida Know.
Who's going to pay to replace all these things?
FRANKLY, MY DEAR, WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN! It's just not gonna be one of us!
What a minute! Who are you?
Notme and Ida Know, that's who!
This time, my mom's the one who has to hide her treats. TB and I long ago gave up buying extras. We're so tired of having to hide it from Notme and Ida Know. TB locked the TV room door this afternoon. Maybe that's the only way to keep Notme and Ida Know out. The kids will say: not fair! We say, take it out on Notme and Ida Know.
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Maybe someday Notme and Ida Know will move away. Gosh, wouldn't that be nice????
Thursday, March 26
Nice visits and a sad trip to LI
On Wednesday there were two very nice visits.
Heidi and I went to lunch at Anapa's Diner. It was really wonderful to get together as mother and daughter and talk about things that had nothing to do with our conflicts! Her move is a positive thing. It's brought peace to the house and now it seems we can build a healing healthier relationship between the two of us!
Linda came to see Little T and there was no awkwardness nor anger between the three of us. We made our position very clear and she didn't argue. She asked if it was all right to bring Jay's little daughter Dorothy and we both said sure--but no Jay. I have no objection to getting together with Linda and her boyfriend...but not when Tomas is visiting us. We want to make sure our little guy stays safe.
Now TB and I are preparing for a visit to Long Island. My Uncle Gil died last Sunday. His wake is later this afternoon and evening and the funeral is tomorrow. In spite of the sadness it will be good to see family again.
Heidi and I went to lunch at Anapa's Diner. It was really wonderful to get together as mother and daughter and talk about things that had nothing to do with our conflicts! Her move is a positive thing. It's brought peace to the house and now it seems we can build a healing healthier relationship between the two of us!
Linda came to see Little T and there was no awkwardness nor anger between the three of us. We made our position very clear and she didn't argue. She asked if it was all right to bring Jay's little daughter Dorothy and we both said sure--but no Jay. I have no objection to getting together with Linda and her boyfriend...but not when Tomas is visiting us. We want to make sure our little guy stays safe.
Now TB and I are preparing for a visit to Long Island. My Uncle Gil died last Sunday. His wake is later this afternoon and evening and the funeral is tomorrow. In spite of the sadness it will be good to see family again.
Saturday, March 21
So much going on at once
If there was chocolate in the house, I'd be gobbling it down so fast all our heads would be spinning! I don't have my car to go get some because my son's new old car broke down again and I've let him borrow mine.
My uncle died this morning of diabetes related complications. I so wanted to see him before he passed and was planning to go next weekend with my DH. He was 82 and had a long life. I used to call him "Uncle Bone Squisher" because he gave such great hugs!
I got a note from my PCP's office. My A1C is down to 6. I am really happy about that!
My son bought his new old car just last weekend. The first time it broke down was Thursday and it needed a new starter. It might be that the starter was bad and needs to be replaced again. It might be something else. It's a Mercury Sable, a really nice looking car. I just hope it's not hexed or something.
TB switched Heidi off the phone plan today. Now that she's moved out, we've been trying to get her off the family plan. She was supposed to get on her friend's plan but we've been waiting and waiting and nothing's been happening there. Meanwhile, we can't keep paying the bill. TB texted her this morning to let her know and was she mad!
Then there was what happened to Little T.
All of this stuff is going on all at practically the same time.
If only I had a Cadbury egg....
My uncle died this morning of diabetes related complications. I so wanted to see him before he passed and was planning to go next weekend with my DH. He was 82 and had a long life. I used to call him "Uncle Bone Squisher" because he gave such great hugs!
I got a note from my PCP's office. My A1C is down to 6. I am really happy about that!
My son bought his new old car just last weekend. The first time it broke down was Thursday and it needed a new starter. It might be that the starter was bad and needs to be replaced again. It might be something else. It's a Mercury Sable, a really nice looking car. I just hope it's not hexed or something.
TB switched Heidi off the phone plan today. Now that she's moved out, we've been trying to get her off the family plan. She was supposed to get on her friend's plan but we've been waiting and waiting and nothing's been happening there. Meanwhile, we can't keep paying the bill. TB texted her this morning to let her know and was she mad!
Then there was what happened to Little T.
All of this stuff is going on all at practically the same time.
If only I had a Cadbury egg....
Thursday, March 19
Update on Little T
Ahhhhhhhhhh, this is a sigh of relief!
After Little T was hurt last week, his dad took pictures and took them to the lawyer. The lawyer flipped out and took them down to the judge who also blew a gasket and had the police deliver a letter to Linda and her boyfriend to appear at a hearing--today. I didn't want to post anything about it last week until I knew what was going to happen.
The judge ordered supervised visits when Linda sees Tomas; no more overnight visits. The judge said to Linda, you slapped him! Linda kept saying no, she hadn't. The judge said, well, show me how it happened then but it didn't look very believable.
To be honest, I don't think Linda did it at all. I think it was the boyfriend and I also speculate that she wasn't even home when it happened. I think she went out for cigarettes or something and left T with the boyfriend.
The only ones who know the truth are lying (the two adults) or is unable to tell us (Little T).
The judge ordered Linda and the boyfriend to take safe parenting classes, especially after hearing sometimes there's no food in the place. The boyfriend has a child around 2. How can you have no food in the house with a small child? Please!
Linda called and said to her dad, "I want you three out of my life!"
What does that mean? Is she not going to see T on Wednesdays? We're the ones supervising the visits although it can take place at at the courthouse if she wants to be that way about it!
Here's TB's take on it: The Man's Side
After Little T was hurt last week, his dad took pictures and took them to the lawyer. The lawyer flipped out and took them down to the judge who also blew a gasket and had the police deliver a letter to Linda and her boyfriend to appear at a hearing--today. I didn't want to post anything about it last week until I knew what was going to happen.
The judge ordered supervised visits when Linda sees Tomas; no more overnight visits. The judge said to Linda, you slapped him! Linda kept saying no, she hadn't. The judge said, well, show me how it happened then but it didn't look very believable.
To be honest, I don't think Linda did it at all. I think it was the boyfriend and I also speculate that she wasn't even home when it happened. I think she went out for cigarettes or something and left T with the boyfriend.
The only ones who know the truth are lying (the two adults) or is unable to tell us (Little T).
The judge ordered Linda and the boyfriend to take safe parenting classes, especially after hearing sometimes there's no food in the place. The boyfriend has a child around 2. How can you have no food in the house with a small child? Please!
Linda called and said to her dad, "I want you three out of my life!"
What does that mean? Is she not going to see T on Wednesdays? We're the ones supervising the visits although it can take place at at the courthouse if she wants to be that way about it!
Here's TB's take on it: The Man's Side
Monday, March 9
What happened!?
This is both an update and an angry question.
Kennan called to tell us that Little T came home from his weekend visitation with a raised red hand print across his chest. Kennan saw it when he went to give the little guy a shower and took pictures. There's a really lame story from Linda about what happened and I am just furious and disgusted. I think I can guess what happened and it's not pretty!
Also, Heidi took the contract TB and I made up for her to Marianne's to read it over and think about what she wanted to do. She called me the next day and said she'd decided to move in with Marianne because there were just too many rules. She and Marianne came over in the afternoon and packed up a lot of her stuff.
Since they needed to borrow the van to move some of the furniture I decided to drive (with Bill along to help) so I could "meet the parents" and see where Heidi would be living.
Marianne's mother is very nice, born in Germany and moved here at some point. She said that she runs a 100% German household and that she and her husband read the contract and thought it was "the weirdest thing" she'd ever seen.
I was taken aback. I said, "This was something we had to do" and then stopped. I decided to let Marianne's parents think we are weird. Let's see if Heidi can change her behavior. I don't want to put any negative thoughts into Sonya's head so we just chatted pleasantly for a little while while the younger people unloaded the cars. Lord only knows what Heidi's told the parents about TB and me.
Marianne's father was arriving as Bill and I were leaving so I just shook hands with him and said hello, nice to meet you.
Over the weekend, it seems like the bottom's dropped out on me. I've been very depressed and crying. It's not just missing Heidi. I'm worried about our finances, feel like I'm trapped here in this house with the incredibly high mortgage and that we are always going to be in a hole. I worry that Bill is alone most of the time and seems to have no friends or social life. He says he likes it that way; I worry. Ted often doesn't feel well and sleeps a lot. Kristin is sort of closed to me. She doesn't confide in me except about very superficial things. Thank goodness I see my therapist tomorrow!
Kennan called to tell us that Little T came home from his weekend visitation with a raised red hand print across his chest. Kennan saw it when he went to give the little guy a shower and took pictures. There's a really lame story from Linda about what happened and I am just furious and disgusted. I think I can guess what happened and it's not pretty!
Also, Heidi took the contract TB and I made up for her to Marianne's to read it over and think about what she wanted to do. She called me the next day and said she'd decided to move in with Marianne because there were just too many rules. She and Marianne came over in the afternoon and packed up a lot of her stuff.
Since they needed to borrow the van to move some of the furniture I decided to drive (with Bill along to help) so I could "meet the parents" and see where Heidi would be living.
Marianne's mother is very nice, born in Germany and moved here at some point. She said that she runs a 100% German household and that she and her husband read the contract and thought it was "the weirdest thing" she'd ever seen.
I was taken aback. I said, "This was something we had to do" and then stopped. I decided to let Marianne's parents think we are weird. Let's see if Heidi can change her behavior. I don't want to put any negative thoughts into Sonya's head so we just chatted pleasantly for a little while while the younger people unloaded the cars. Lord only knows what Heidi's told the parents about TB and me.
Marianne's father was arriving as Bill and I were leaving so I just shook hands with him and said hello, nice to meet you.
Over the weekend, it seems like the bottom's dropped out on me. I've been very depressed and crying. It's not just missing Heidi. I'm worried about our finances, feel like I'm trapped here in this house with the incredibly high mortgage and that we are always going to be in a hole. I worry that Bill is alone most of the time and seems to have no friends or social life. He says he likes it that way; I worry. Ted often doesn't feel well and sleeps a lot. Kristin is sort of closed to me. She doesn't confide in me except about very superficial things. Thank goodness I see my therapist tomorrow!
Wednesday, March 4
Moving out?
I had a long talk with Heidi around lunch time. We met at Burger King (neutral ground) to talk about what's going on. I hadn't seen her since she went slamming out of here on Saturday.
Meanwhile, TB and I had come up with a contract for the adult kids living here that basically stated what we expected in terms of behavior, room & board, and chores and we emphasized throughout that verbal abuse would not be tolerated. Anticipating that Heidi would still be living here, we added in her contract that we'd contact crisis intervention and the police if things got out of control. We made up one agreement for Billy and one for Heidi so that she wouldn't feel like we were singling her out.
I don't think now she plans to come back. Right now she is staying with her friend Marianne and she may have a good deal going. She told me that the parents haven't asked her for rent money and said she could stay with them as long as she needed to. So...why would she come back knowing she'd need to pay us room & board *and* do dishes besides?
She is putting a lot of the blame on TB and taking very little of the responsibility for herself although she says she is "better" now that she is "not getting yelled at all the time." She didn't react when I said that her anger and tantrums scared us and stressed us out and that on Mondays and Wednesdays (her dish nights) I just want to hide under the bed.
I feel sad and glad at the same time. I do miss her but I don't miss the bad behavior. I love her but not the screaming, cursing and name calling.
She wanted to make sure she was still welcome at home if she wanted to visit and I said, of course.
She doesn't want to decide one way or the other yet. She knows if she moves out she will have to get her own car insurance and phone. If she's not going to be charged anything she'll be able to afford it on what she makes. If she does decide to move back, she knows she'll have a contract to follow.
I have very mixed feelings. I want her to be happy.
Meanwhile, TB and I had come up with a contract for the adult kids living here that basically stated what we expected in terms of behavior, room & board, and chores and we emphasized throughout that verbal abuse would not be tolerated. Anticipating that Heidi would still be living here, we added in her contract that we'd contact crisis intervention and the police if things got out of control. We made up one agreement for Billy and one for Heidi so that she wouldn't feel like we were singling her out.
I don't think now she plans to come back. Right now she is staying with her friend Marianne and she may have a good deal going. She told me that the parents haven't asked her for rent money and said she could stay with them as long as she needed to. So...why would she come back knowing she'd need to pay us room & board *and* do dishes besides?
She is putting a lot of the blame on TB and taking very little of the responsibility for herself although she says she is "better" now that she is "not getting yelled at all the time." She didn't react when I said that her anger and tantrums scared us and stressed us out and that on Mondays and Wednesdays (her dish nights) I just want to hide under the bed.
I feel sad and glad at the same time. I do miss her but I don't miss the bad behavior. I love her but not the screaming, cursing and name calling.
She wanted to make sure she was still welcome at home if she wanted to visit and I said, of course.
She doesn't want to decide one way or the other yet. She knows if she moves out she will have to get her own car insurance and phone. If she's not going to be charged anything she'll be able to afford it on what she makes. If she does decide to move back, she knows she'll have a contract to follow.
I have very mixed feelings. I want her to be happy.
Sunday, March 1
More Depressing Stuff
None of us have been feeling so great this weekend. I lost my voice on Thursday and have been feeling kind of pukey since. Yesterday, Billy had some kind of virus and was sick to his stomach to the point where he called out of work. He hung out in the family room, just relaxing, sipping fluids and trying not to puke.
Heidi came home from work around 9. I knew she wanted to have her friend Marianne come over and I hadn't really thought about Billy being sick in the family room. He was watching a movie that would end at ten and Heidi began yelling at him and telling him he'd been in the family room long enough and it was time to go upstairs. Even Kristin was chiming in on that (although not as loudly).
I told Heidi to stop that. Billy lives here too, he's sick and she shouldn't be telling him to get out of the family room. Billy said he just wanted to watch until the end of his movie and then he'd go upstairs. That wasn't good enough for Heidi so then TB and I said she should go to Marianne's instead.
As she stormed upstairs for something, Heidi was muttering (loud enough for us to hear) that she "fucking hated" us. TB goes, "I heard that, you can't talk that way to us! You can stay upstairs."
Heidi goes, "What? I don't have to listen to you--I'm going out."
And TB goes, "Good--stay out!"
More cursing, slamming of doors and then Heidi goes out the front door. I hear the garbage pails outside sailing around and suddenly she comes in the back door into the family room and starts attacking Billy again, with Kristin joining in again.
I yell at her to get out, go to Marianne's. She yells she's here for a movie but does go slamming out and leaves.
TB is saying to me, I can't stand this anymore.
I'm shaking.
Kristin goes upstairs crying saying she's mad at Billy.
For crying out loud!!!
We finished watching our movie and then I realized I'd gotten two cell phone text messages from Heidi, one that says she thinks about killing herself everyday but I'm too busy worrying about TB to notice and the other that she misses talking to me.
I texted her back right away but get no answer. Then I try calling her phone--and Marianne's...still no answer. I told TB about the messages and he suggested I call intervention--which is probably what we should have done in the first place but everything happened so damn fast!
They can't do anything because we don't know where Heidi is. They suggest I keep trying to get ahold of Heidi and find out her frame of mind.
So I call and call and finally Marianne answers the phone and I ask if Heidi is there. She is and I ask to speak to her. She's very upset but has calmed down and doesn't seem to be suicidal (although she does say she thinks about it). She says she's staying over with Marianne and will probably be there all day Sunday because she "just can't deal with Ted."
It's always someone else's fault. I feel like crying because she desperately needs help and I don't know what to do anymore.
Heidi came home from work around 9. I knew she wanted to have her friend Marianne come over and I hadn't really thought about Billy being sick in the family room. He was watching a movie that would end at ten and Heidi began yelling at him and telling him he'd been in the family room long enough and it was time to go upstairs. Even Kristin was chiming in on that (although not as loudly).
I told Heidi to stop that. Billy lives here too, he's sick and she shouldn't be telling him to get out of the family room. Billy said he just wanted to watch until the end of his movie and then he'd go upstairs. That wasn't good enough for Heidi so then TB and I said she should go to Marianne's instead.
As she stormed upstairs for something, Heidi was muttering (loud enough for us to hear) that she "fucking hated" us. TB goes, "I heard that, you can't talk that way to us! You can stay upstairs."
Heidi goes, "What? I don't have to listen to you--I'm going out."
And TB goes, "Good--stay out!"
More cursing, slamming of doors and then Heidi goes out the front door. I hear the garbage pails outside sailing around and suddenly she comes in the back door into the family room and starts attacking Billy again, with Kristin joining in again.
I yell at her to get out, go to Marianne's. She yells she's here for a movie but does go slamming out and leaves.
TB is saying to me, I can't stand this anymore.
I'm shaking.
Kristin goes upstairs crying saying she's mad at Billy.
For crying out loud!!!
We finished watching our movie and then I realized I'd gotten two cell phone text messages from Heidi, one that says she thinks about killing herself everyday but I'm too busy worrying about TB to notice and the other that she misses talking to me.
I texted her back right away but get no answer. Then I try calling her phone--and Marianne's...still no answer. I told TB about the messages and he suggested I call intervention--which is probably what we should have done in the first place but everything happened so damn fast!
They can't do anything because we don't know where Heidi is. They suggest I keep trying to get ahold of Heidi and find out her frame of mind.
So I call and call and finally Marianne answers the phone and I ask if Heidi is there. She is and I ask to speak to her. She's very upset but has calmed down and doesn't seem to be suicidal (although she does say she thinks about it). She says she's staying over with Marianne and will probably be there all day Sunday because she "just can't deal with Ted."
It's always someone else's fault. I feel like crying because she desperately needs help and I don't know what to do anymore.
Wednesday, February 25
Update
So yesterday I went to my therapist and she showed me the letter she's sending to Dr. Greenbaum. Everything looks cool so she's mailing it out and he should have it within a few days. Then I'll be calling Tina to schedule a surgery date. Wow! It seems unreal but yet exciting!
The other thing the therapist and I discussed was how to get my mind wrapped around dealing with my Heidi effectively. We had another incident where she came in and nearly ruined Kristin's birthday party with her bullying and complaining.
Heidi came in from work around 9 and Kristin's party was going along very nicely in the family room. Heidi'd invited her friend Marianne over and the two of them went into the room. The other kids started setting up DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) and I heard Heidi go off, "Oh no you are NOT playing that game now!" She complained quite loudly about it being a "boring" game and why hadn't they played it earlier?
So I called her out of there and she said, exasperated, that Kristin told her they wouldn't be playing that game when she came home. I said, but it's HER party and she can't schedule what's going to happen when. Heidi was taking the view that they put the game on now just because they knew it would aggravate her. I could not make her see that she was being unreasonable. She and Marianne watched TV with me for a while and then they decided to go out to Wawa.
After the guests left, the girls had a shouting match and Kristin was in tears. Heidi said this was all Kristin's fault for not warning her so that she could go to Marianne's house instead.
Isn't this totally unreasonable?
I should have called for intervention but I didn't. After everything I witnessed as a child, this didn't seem like a police matter...but maybe it was. The therapist thinks that when a crisis like that comes up I go emotionally frozen--that seems to be exactly what happens. So I asked TB to call crisis intervention next time as soon as he sees the need for it since I'm not good at recognizing these things.
TB and I need to come up with a contract Heidi has to follow with consequences if she breaks the rules. Three strikes and she has to leave. TB sent me some articles about adult children living at home as well as an example contract. I really liked the example and it occurred to me that we could have Bill sign one too to lessen Heidi's negative reaction to it (I am sure she's going to blow up and scream).
My therapist got me to recognize a couple of things. Heidi's behavior towards us is like that of a raging alcoholic. I am just as bullied into trying to smooth things over as I was when it was my mother raging around the house. On Monday, I emptied the dishwasher and did all the dishes in spite of the fact it was Heidi's day simply because I couldn't deal with her screaming and tantruming about how much she hates that chore!
I have to have the strength to do this and not keep sacrificing the emotional health of the other four of us in the house. It seems all my life issues continue to come up and bite my in the ass and it hurts so much more because Heidi is my own baby. I feel so blue.
The other thing the therapist and I discussed was how to get my mind wrapped around dealing with my Heidi effectively. We had another incident where she came in and nearly ruined Kristin's birthday party with her bullying and complaining.
Heidi came in from work around 9 and Kristin's party was going along very nicely in the family room. Heidi'd invited her friend Marianne over and the two of them went into the room. The other kids started setting up DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) and I heard Heidi go off, "Oh no you are NOT playing that game now!" She complained quite loudly about it being a "boring" game and why hadn't they played it earlier?
So I called her out of there and she said, exasperated, that Kristin told her they wouldn't be playing that game when she came home. I said, but it's HER party and she can't schedule what's going to happen when. Heidi was taking the view that they put the game on now just because they knew it would aggravate her. I could not make her see that she was being unreasonable. She and Marianne watched TV with me for a while and then they decided to go out to Wawa.
After the guests left, the girls had a shouting match and Kristin was in tears. Heidi said this was all Kristin's fault for not warning her so that she could go to Marianne's house instead.
Isn't this totally unreasonable?
I should have called for intervention but I didn't. After everything I witnessed as a child, this didn't seem like a police matter...but maybe it was. The therapist thinks that when a crisis like that comes up I go emotionally frozen--that seems to be exactly what happens. So I asked TB to call crisis intervention next time as soon as he sees the need for it since I'm not good at recognizing these things.
TB and I need to come up with a contract Heidi has to follow with consequences if she breaks the rules. Three strikes and she has to leave. TB sent me some articles about adult children living at home as well as an example contract. I really liked the example and it occurred to me that we could have Bill sign one too to lessen Heidi's negative reaction to it (I am sure she's going to blow up and scream).
My therapist got me to recognize a couple of things. Heidi's behavior towards us is like that of a raging alcoholic. I am just as bullied into trying to smooth things over as I was when it was my mother raging around the house. On Monday, I emptied the dishwasher and did all the dishes in spite of the fact it was Heidi's day simply because I couldn't deal with her screaming and tantruming about how much she hates that chore!
I have to have the strength to do this and not keep sacrificing the emotional health of the other four of us in the house. It seems all my life issues continue to come up and bite my in the ass and it hurts so much more because Heidi is my own baby. I feel so blue.
Wednesday, February 18
No Empty Nest Blues
TB and I are struggling with the blues today. It's not just the financial stuff. There's a lot of stuff going on.
Is 25 and 30 the new 18 and 21? I've heard of "empty nest syndrome"...parents missing their adult children who've moved out on their own or to college. I've also heard of the boomerang generation--adult kids who've been out for a while and then come home. Now there's this latest trend...adult children who don't leave home.
When Kristin ages out of social security in June 2010, TB and I won't be able to afford the mortgage on this house unless we both have good jobs. Maybe we will, by then. Who knows? But if things stay the way they are, we'd have to put the house on the market spring of 2010. I know we've talked about that in front of the kids before so imagine my surprise when Heidi went into freak out mode about it Monday.
It turned into a real drama. She was sure she'd never be able to save up to move out on her own because she had to give us "everything" she makes. She's going to be stuck working at Shop Rite the rest of her life and will have to live in her car.
Well, I tried reasoning with her. We went to DVR (Division of Vocational Rehabilitation) to get her some help and hopefully by then she'd be back in school and working at a different job, one that she enjoys. Heidi countered that the counselor emphasized counseling which she does not want--although she desperately needs it!
As for having to give us "everything", I suggested she buy her own car insurance, phone and food. And as for school, she dropped the ball on that one by not going to financial aid and seeing her counselor. She screamed, "You expect me to know how to do everything!"
But...I've already been to the college with her to pick a schedule and talk to counselors and told her to google for insurance--why doesn't she remember how to do that? Is it the bipolar or learned dependence?
TB says to me, "I feel doomed. We'll never be alone in our own home."
Is he right?
We said to Heidi and Bill that if we were to stay on in this big house, we'd need more income. Heidi freaked out again--oh no, she'd have to work two full time jobs, never go back to school and so on. Bill took it logically and said divided five ways, it could be done. He's right...but do we want to?
The kids don't respect our house. Their rooms are totally trashed and we've just learned to pick our battles and not fight over that. The biggest battle is keeping the mess from migrating downstairs. They don't keep either bathroom clean and it's embarrassing. The other day, TB went around the family room picking up dirty laundry hidden here and there. It's not like it gets accidentally left out. Hiding it shows they knew it was wrong. Getting them to help us with chores is an ordeal.
So...why would we want to stay in the big house? Yet it's a nice house and fixed up the way we like it.
We swing back and forth between wanting to stay and wanting to run away. It really is very depressing. :(
Is 25 and 30 the new 18 and 21? I've heard of "empty nest syndrome"...parents missing their adult children who've moved out on their own or to college. I've also heard of the boomerang generation--adult kids who've been out for a while and then come home. Now there's this latest trend...adult children who don't leave home.
When Kristin ages out of social security in June 2010, TB and I won't be able to afford the mortgage on this house unless we both have good jobs. Maybe we will, by then. Who knows? But if things stay the way they are, we'd have to put the house on the market spring of 2010. I know we've talked about that in front of the kids before so imagine my surprise when Heidi went into freak out mode about it Monday.
It turned into a real drama. She was sure she'd never be able to save up to move out on her own because she had to give us "everything" she makes. She's going to be stuck working at Shop Rite the rest of her life and will have to live in her car.
Well, I tried reasoning with her. We went to DVR (Division of Vocational Rehabilitation) to get her some help and hopefully by then she'd be back in school and working at a different job, one that she enjoys. Heidi countered that the counselor emphasized counseling which she does not want--although she desperately needs it!
As for having to give us "everything", I suggested she buy her own car insurance, phone and food. And as for school, she dropped the ball on that one by not going to financial aid and seeing her counselor. She screamed, "You expect me to know how to do everything!"
But...I've already been to the college with her to pick a schedule and talk to counselors and told her to google for insurance--why doesn't she remember how to do that? Is it the bipolar or learned dependence?
TB says to me, "I feel doomed. We'll never be alone in our own home."
Is he right?
We said to Heidi and Bill that if we were to stay on in this big house, we'd need more income. Heidi freaked out again--oh no, she'd have to work two full time jobs, never go back to school and so on. Bill took it logically and said divided five ways, it could be done. He's right...but do we want to?
The kids don't respect our house. Their rooms are totally trashed and we've just learned to pick our battles and not fight over that. The biggest battle is keeping the mess from migrating downstairs. They don't keep either bathroom clean and it's embarrassing. The other day, TB went around the family room picking up dirty laundry hidden here and there. It's not like it gets accidentally left out. Hiding it shows they knew it was wrong. Getting them to help us with chores is an ordeal.
So...why would we want to stay in the big house? Yet it's a nice house and fixed up the way we like it.
We swing back and forth between wanting to stay and wanting to run away. It really is very depressing. :(
Tuesday, February 3
Little T's Birthday Part II
So we celebrated Little T's 5th birthday again yesterday. We took Kennan's suggestion and got an erasable marker board for him. He seems to like it! :)
He began to write his name, eventually erased the whole board and then wrote his name again. It's really cool to see how far he's come! He can say his letters and recognizes them individually.
Yesterday he tried very hard to tell TB and me something and we just weren't getting it. I felt so bad. He was looking into my face and carefully trying to shape his lips so I know how frustrating it was for him. :( He is making a much better effort to use his words and someday we will get everything he says!
So it's snowing hard but schools are still open. I suppose it's because nothing is sticking to the roads. It's a real pain in the hiney though. I was hoping if school was closed we wouldn't have to deal with the Billy shuffle but that wasn't to be.
BUT I did make it clear to him that he's got to do something because Heidi, TB and I can't continue to drive him all over the place. The two cars left have a lot of miles on them and we can't afford to lose them. We don't have any money to replace them and it would be a disaster not to have a car!
One of my biggest complaints/concerns about living here is the lack of mass transportation--no buses, no nothing. A cab won't even come into Browns Mills to take a passenger to a bus stop. I'm not sure why that is. We have the same problems with crime as any other town and they all have cabs!
Today Bill finally checked into his school loan and found out the paperwork had been misplaced. Why he didn't do this when his car first broke down (although we put it high at the top of a list of things to do) I don't know. He was telling me that the money won't come in until March and I just can't see us shuttling him around that long. I suggested he find another job, closer to home or on a bus line. He didn't like that very much.
It might be different if he didn't have little bitty part time jobs all over. He works 4 nights a week at Shop & Stop, which is about 15 minutes away. Then he tutors at the local campus for 4 hours one morning a week. He tutors at the other campus (which is over 25 miles away) for another morning. Every afternoon he tutors for 2 hours at a school over 20 miles away and it isn't on any kind of bus route.
Today I dropped him off at the community college. He expected his sister to come and get him on her way to work. He was going to drop her there, drive to his 2 hour job, drive back to Heidi's job and wait for TB and me to come pick him up (after we've collected Little T) and then take him to Stop and Shop. His sister then has to pick him up after she gets home after work and after his shift, which ends at 11.
He talked his sister into letting him take her car on her two days off, leaving her stuck at home. Meanwhile, he drives out to the further campus for his class, then over to the school where he tutors for two hours and then either back out to the college for a night class or to the local college for a night class.
And we haven't even begun to talk about Kristin needing rides because she's on the bowling team. Arrrrrgh!
Why do kids have such a feeling of entitlement? What does he think we're supposed to do if our car and Heidi's gets run into the ground? Grrrrr!
Monday, January 26
This is gonna be so hard!
Kennan and his brother came to look at Bill's car yesterday and agreed that the motor is shot and it's not worth getting a new one. They said he could try to keep it running for a while by adding gas and antifreeze to it everyday and putting it into neutral when h needed to stop. Meanwhile, Bill's to save save save to get another car.
Yesterday, Bill drove the thing to work and it was okay. Last night, though, he slowed down at a curvy part of our street and the car died. He couldn't get it started again so he pushed it off the street and walked home. TB and Bill went down to see if the car would start this morning and it's dead as a doornail so TB feels that the engine's seized. Great.
The plan today: Heidi takes Bill to his class (at least 25 miles away)
TB and I have an appt with our orthopedic doctor at 10:30. When we're done, we'll drive from Hamilton to Mt. Laurel (about 40 miles or so?) to get Bill and take him to his tutoring job in Medford.
Then we'll drive about half way home to get Little T and then all the way back to Medford to get Bill. We'll probably stop at the local Burlington Community College campus so Bill can talk to Financial Aid and see if he can apply for a loan.
Later, we'll have to drive to the high school to get Kristin. She's bowling and the team always arrives after the six o'clock bus has already left the school. :P
And today is one of the easier days.
Wednesday is going to be the worst, the day from hell.
If I keep my stress test appointment (which is at 8 a.m.) then Heidi will have to drive Bill to Mt. Laurel so he can tutor from 8-10 and then take his class. I also have a nutritionist appt. at 10:30. Once that's done, we have to go to Mt. Laurel from Willingboro to get Bill and then drive him to Medford and then back to Mt. Laurel for another class. Then we have to pick up Kristin at school.
Our car has over 92,000 on it now and I wonder what all this extra wear and tear will do to it. I feel so torn because Bill has to be able to get to class and to work. There is NO mass transit around here, not even a taxicab, which really sucks!
Needless to say, I am *very* stressed.
On top of all that I'm not sure we can afford all the vitamins and aupplements I would need after surgery and so I'm thinking I should postpone the whole thing. TB thinks I should still go for the stress tests and such and I'm thinking it might be better to wait.
So I'm very stressed *AND* confused!
Yesterday, Bill drove the thing to work and it was okay. Last night, though, he slowed down at a curvy part of our street and the car died. He couldn't get it started again so he pushed it off the street and walked home. TB and Bill went down to see if the car would start this morning and it's dead as a doornail so TB feels that the engine's seized. Great.
The plan today: Heidi takes Bill to his class (at least 25 miles away)
TB and I have an appt with our orthopedic doctor at 10:30. When we're done, we'll drive from Hamilton to Mt. Laurel (about 40 miles or so?) to get Bill and take him to his tutoring job in Medford.
Then we'll drive about half way home to get Little T and then all the way back to Medford to get Bill. We'll probably stop at the local Burlington Community College campus so Bill can talk to Financial Aid and see if he can apply for a loan.
Later, we'll have to drive to the high school to get Kristin. She's bowling and the team always arrives after the six o'clock bus has already left the school. :P
And today is one of the easier days.
Wednesday is going to be the worst, the day from hell.
If I keep my stress test appointment (which is at 8 a.m.) then Heidi will have to drive Bill to Mt. Laurel so he can tutor from 8-10 and then take his class. I also have a nutritionist appt. at 10:30. Once that's done, we have to go to Mt. Laurel from Willingboro to get Bill and then drive him to Medford and then back to Mt. Laurel for another class. Then we have to pick up Kristin at school.
Our car has over 92,000 on it now and I wonder what all this extra wear and tear will do to it. I feel so torn because Bill has to be able to get to class and to work. There is NO mass transit around here, not even a taxicab, which really sucks!
Needless to say, I am *very* stressed.
On top of all that I'm not sure we can afford all the vitamins and aupplements I would need after surgery and so I'm thinking I should postpone the whole thing. TB thinks I should still go for the stress tests and such and I'm thinking it might be better to wait.
So I'm very stressed *AND* confused!
Thursday, January 22
Good grief!
Bill's car broke down on him again Tuesday night so he had to have it towed to Andy's garage. The next day, Andy called to say it needed a new alternator so we said go ahead and fix it. The really bad news is that when Bill and TB went to get the car, Andy said the motor was shot! He knocked $100 off the cost of the alternator, saying he hadn't noticed the problem with the motor until after the new part was installed. So Bill brought the car home (because it has a lot of his stuff in it) and it stalled again in front of the house. We were all in shock and pretty upset because this means we have to ferry Bill around to his classes and his three jobs until he can get another car. When I told Kennan what happened, he expressed some doubt and disbelief and said he'd like to take a look at the car Saturday. Maybe Kennan can do something with it!
And Little T had another major melt down yesterday. He was happy as a little clam when we first picked him up from school. I fed him so mac'n'cheese and then we watched an episode of Dora...and then his mother showed up. T gave her the weirdest look--like Oh no! I don't want to go! Linda asked if they could stay and play at our house because she didn't have enough gas to "go gallivanting around" and I said sure. Right away T relaxed.
Everything was okay until he pooped and Linda wanted to change him. He still isn't potty trained yet although we've been working with him. He doesn't like to be interrupted to be changed but he also doesn't like being dirty so you can eventually coax him over to have a new pull-up put on. Not yesterday, though. He cried, protested "no no!" and carried on for an hour. Then once she got the dirty pull-up off, he refused to get dressed again. It took another hour *and* we had to call Kennan, who decided he'd come over.
Meanwhile, we were trying everything. He came to me for comfort and hugs and I said to him calmly that I didn't understand what was happening. TB finally was able to coax him into putting on the pull ups and his pants but not his shoes. He was really upset that we'd called Kennan and kept saying "no no!" over and over.
It took almost 45 minutes to get him to put on his shoes. When Linda tried to leave, he ran to the door and blocked it.
TB and I both had the same thought: Little T wants his parents to stay together with him at our house, which is where he probably where he feels safest and most secure. TB blurted, "Well, you two should get married" and everyone looked at him like he'd lost his mind. TB said it just came out because of what he was thinking.
I really think we are right.
It won't ever happen because of the way Linda is and all the bad things she's done to Kennan and his family.
Poor little guy.
Kristin is freaking out because her last name is incorrect on her SAT admission ticket and it's too late to change it unless a miracle occurs but she's not ready to take it and it's her birthday this Saturday anyway and can we please pick her up now because she's so tired and upset? Yikes! We have to fax over proof of her identity and there's no guarantee they'll change the ticket in time...they probably won't. I told the people at the college board I felt it was their mistake. Kristin says the application asked for her parents' names and there was no place to put her last name and that's how it happened.
Good grief!
And Little T had another major melt down yesterday. He was happy as a little clam when we first picked him up from school. I fed him so mac'n'cheese and then we watched an episode of Dora...and then his mother showed up. T gave her the weirdest look--like Oh no! I don't want to go! Linda asked if they could stay and play at our house because she didn't have enough gas to "go gallivanting around" and I said sure. Right away T relaxed.
Everything was okay until he pooped and Linda wanted to change him. He still isn't potty trained yet although we've been working with him. He doesn't like to be interrupted to be changed but he also doesn't like being dirty so you can eventually coax him over to have a new pull-up put on. Not yesterday, though. He cried, protested "no no!" and carried on for an hour. Then once she got the dirty pull-up off, he refused to get dressed again. It took another hour *and* we had to call Kennan, who decided he'd come over.
Meanwhile, we were trying everything. He came to me for comfort and hugs and I said to him calmly that I didn't understand what was happening. TB finally was able to coax him into putting on the pull ups and his pants but not his shoes. He was really upset that we'd called Kennan and kept saying "no no!" over and over.
It took almost 45 minutes to get him to put on his shoes. When Linda tried to leave, he ran to the door and blocked it.
TB and I both had the same thought: Little T wants his parents to stay together with him at our house, which is where he probably where he feels safest and most secure. TB blurted, "Well, you two should get married" and everyone looked at him like he'd lost his mind. TB said it just came out because of what he was thinking.
I really think we are right.
It won't ever happen because of the way Linda is and all the bad things she's done to Kennan and his family.
Poor little guy.
Kristin is freaking out because her last name is incorrect on her SAT admission ticket and it's too late to change it unless a miracle occurs but she's not ready to take it and it's her birthday this Saturday anyway and can we please pick her up now because she's so tired and upset? Yikes! We have to fax over proof of her identity and there's no guarantee they'll change the ticket in time...they probably won't. I told the people at the college board I felt it was their mistake. Kristin says the application asked for her parents' names and there was no place to put her last name and that's how it happened.
Good grief!
Thursday, January 15
Are you kiddin me?
First: we finally did hear from Linda today. TB called and left a message that we had information concerning her (meaning the detective who was looking for her) and what do you know? She called back! First off, TB wanted to know why she didn't call or show up yesterday.
She said her phone had no more minutes on it.
See the title of my post?
How about borrowing the boyfriend's phone? How about going to Wawa and using a pay phone? How about calling collect?
That's all she said. Oh...and that she did talk to the detective. That's all she said.
She is not going to win "Mother of the Year" award, that is for sure!
It snowed today and it was soooooo cold. Bill's car broke down (the battery died) and so we drove out to give him a jump. That battery must have been pretty far gone because it took several attempts to get it going. We hung out until Bill left the parking lot because we wanted to make sure it wouldn't die on him again. TB asked if he had an amp meter in his car and Bill said he wished he did but no.
We saw him pull into a gas station. I said, "Oh-oh, we better go back and wait there with him. He's probably going to turn the car off to get gas."
TB gave me a look and said, "No, he's not that stupid. He's an engineering student. We were just talking about amp meters. He knows better."
I said, "My son is a genius but he has no common sense."
Well, TB didn't go back to the gas station. We went home to have lunch. As we were finishing, TB said, "Well, everything must be all right..."
And the phone rang. Hence the title of my post. Yes. It was Bill. He turned the car off because he was getting gas and couldn't get it restarted. However, he did get another jump and was leaving the parking lot when the car died again. He'd called AAA and they said it sounded like his alternator went bad and was having it towed to our local garage.
TB thinks if the alternator went bad it would be because the guy giving him a jump crossed the wires.
It's always something, isn't it? I wanted to take Amber to the vet because of her alopecia but we may have to use that money to help Bill get his car fixed. I'm praying it's just the battery and that we can get Amber to the doctor.
More and more, I'm leaning toward the DS. I know, I know, this from the one who was so adamant about not screwing with her insides. But the big issues are that if I get the bypass, I wouldn't be able to take NSAIDs, I would dump, and I wouldn't be able to have my stomach and intestines completely scoped for a medical procedure. None of those are issues with the DS. My big issue with the DS is my fear. I still have time to think this all through.
On a brighter note, I saw daughter Kristin on our educational channel. She's on the varsity bowling team and the school sent a video team with a commentator to tape Monday's game. I was there watching it but it was cool to see it again on TV with the commentary!
She said her phone had no more minutes on it.
See the title of my post?
How about borrowing the boyfriend's phone? How about going to Wawa and using a pay phone? How about calling collect?
That's all she said. Oh...and that she did talk to the detective. That's all she said.
She is not going to win "Mother of the Year" award, that is for sure!
It snowed today and it was soooooo cold. Bill's car broke down (the battery died) and so we drove out to give him a jump. That battery must have been pretty far gone because it took several attempts to get it going. We hung out until Bill left the parking lot because we wanted to make sure it wouldn't die on him again. TB asked if he had an amp meter in his car and Bill said he wished he did but no.
We saw him pull into a gas station. I said, "Oh-oh, we better go back and wait there with him. He's probably going to turn the car off to get gas."
TB gave me a look and said, "No, he's not that stupid. He's an engineering student. We were just talking about amp meters. He knows better."
I said, "My son is a genius but he has no common sense."
Well, TB didn't go back to the gas station. We went home to have lunch. As we were finishing, TB said, "Well, everything must be all right..."
And the phone rang. Hence the title of my post. Yes. It was Bill. He turned the car off because he was getting gas and couldn't get it restarted. However, he did get another jump and was leaving the parking lot when the car died again. He'd called AAA and they said it sounded like his alternator went bad and was having it towed to our local garage.
TB thinks if the alternator went bad it would be because the guy giving him a jump crossed the wires.
It's always something, isn't it? I wanted to take Amber to the vet because of her alopecia but we may have to use that money to help Bill get his car fixed. I'm praying it's just the battery and that we can get Amber to the doctor.
More and more, I'm leaning toward the DS. I know, I know, this from the one who was so adamant about not screwing with her insides. But the big issues are that if I get the bypass, I wouldn't be able to take NSAIDs, I would dump, and I wouldn't be able to have my stomach and intestines completely scoped for a medical procedure. None of those are issues with the DS. My big issue with the DS is my fear. I still have time to think this all through.
On a brighter note, I saw daughter Kristin on our educational channel. She's on the varsity bowling team and the school sent a video team with a commentator to tape Monday's game. I was there watching it but it was cool to see it again on TV with the commentary!
Monday, December 15
Monday Sundries and Updates
Update on Sox: The vitamins and the shot the vet gave Sox really made a big difference! I think the baby food is helping too. Anyway, Sox seems to be feeling better, is out and about much more often, and has been trying to groom himself. We're very much encouraged by this. He doesn't act as if he's sick and if you couldn't feel his bones or scarfing down the baby food, I don't think you'd even guess. So we're hoping Sox has many happy days ahead of him.
Update on Ted: He's been moving toward more solid food. Yesterday he had a small slice of the pork roast I made and it stayed down. He was thrilled because he feels more "normal" when he eats regular food. Also, the shakes can become boring after awhile. Here's a surprise: he's slowed down on the weight loss already and, in fact, if he doesn't exercise, he doesn't lose. It reminds us that weight loss is just a tool, not the answer or the magic solution to obesity.
Update on me: I still struggle with the same stupid 20 pounds. I was wrestling with the idea of needing bariatric surgery to wondering if the gastric band would be enough to looking forward to that first appointment so that I can ask a bunch of questions.
Is surgery necessary for me? At this point, I think so. It seems I can only lose so much and then I gain it all back and more. I recently read this article.
For people with severe obesity, diet and medications may have little effect. In some cases, their best chance for long-term weight reduction and improved health may be surgery to promote weight loss, called bariatric surgery. The long-term results of bariatric surgery are impressive. Even more than a decade after surgery, 90% of those who've undergone gastric bypass, the most common bariatric procedure, manage to keep off an average of 50% of the excess weight. The result is a cure or substantial improvement in diabetes, sleep apnea, degenerative arthritis, and hypertension, and a reduction in risk factors for heart disease, including elevated cholesterol.
I keep telling myself it's just a tool and that I should look at food as "fuel" and "energy" and not something to gorge on.
In other news, I've been really weepy and emotional lately. No surprise, I should think, with everything going on. My prozac was increased a couple of weeks ago and I don't think it's that, unless you can have a delayed reaction to a change in medication.
Tomas is doing great with his speech therapy. He's moving his mouth more and we can understand him a whole lot better. His mother's really been inconsistent about visiting him, which is a real shame. He's such a great kid.
In this picture, I seem to be asking, who's snapping pictures of me while I'm sleeping?
There ae 10 days to Christmas and that might be why I feel weepy sometimes. The kids don't seem to be into it. They sure aren't very helpful unless we set a fire under them and that's just a drag. Heidi's especially difficult now that she's unmedicated. I just want a nice Christmas, that's not too much to ask for.
Tuesday, August 26
Some Drama and Some Memes
We've had quite a bit of drama around here the last 24 hours. Around dinner time, Little T's father called us and was beside himself. It seems Linda picked T up in the afternoon for a visit and was supposed to have him back by 6. When they didn't show up, Kennan texted her and she answered she was keeping the boy overnight.
Up until then, no one knew where Linda's apartment was. She'd wanted to have T overnight Friday but Kennan said no, he didn't know where her place was. It could be in a bad area and he'd worry about T. So Linda grudgingly brought him back on Friday.
Yesterday when she showed up to pick up the little guy, she handed Kennan's mother a piece of paper and asked her to give it to Kennan. That's all she said, never a word about "Can I keep him overnight" and never called Kennan to ask either. The paper turned out to have her new address and phone written there.
Kennan was upset and he had every right to be. With his mother, he drove to the police department in the town where Linda is now living.
Meanwhile, Michele called us from TN and started in on TB. She was trying to pull all the guilt strings on him--that he doesn't love Linda, who is all alone now and has no one, that she (Michele) promised her dying mother she'd keep the family together and now look what happened; that we should have tossed Billy and Heidi out a long time ago (where'd that come from? left field?) and that she's jealous of the three kids because they have what she never had. Poor TB was so upset, I thought his blood pressure was going to go through the roof! He suggested that Michele read the story of the prodigal son and then they could discuss Linda.
After that, Kennan called to say he had Little T back.
After that, Linda called, trying to tell us something. TB didn't want to talk to her and I was having trouble understanding her and so we arranged for her to come and talk to us today. She came over with a big chip on her shoulder, all angry because Kennan had brought the police. She became even angrier when she realized that we weren't going to be on her side at all. "Blood is thicker than water," she said.
"True," I said, "and Tomas is our blood so we are looking out for his best interests. That is that he should stay with his father. You should have visitation, you are his mother but there's no way you should have custody."
Both TB and I pointed out the ways she'd been neglectful to T. She jumped up and ran for the door. "I don't know why I bothered coming over here!"
I didn't know either.
The door slammed and she yelled, "I hope I broke it!"
Real mature. But the most important thing is that the little guy is safely back with his father.
Meme Express
Today, as children return to school, the Meme Express is all about school lunches. Here are a few questions to whet your appetite:
Do you remember eating lunch at school? I sure do
Did you purchase your lunch or bring it with you?
Most of the time I brought it with me
Did you carry a sack or a lunch box?
In elementary school, I had lunch boxes; in junior and senior high, I brown bagged it
If you had a lunch box, what was on it? My favorite was a soft pink Barbie lunch box
What was your favorite school lunch? It's been so long ... probably spaghetti
What was your least favorite menu item?
spinach and the meat surprise
Do you remember any of the cafeteria staff? It's been so many years, no
What friends sat with you for lunch? All my best friends from the different grades. I can't remember all their names. Senior lunch was best because we had our own lounge. That was pretty cool!
Ten on Tuesday
10 Things You Didn’t Like About School
1. Public showers after PE
2. PE
3. Homework
4. Math
5. Boring teachers
6. Alphabetical seating
7. Studying for tests
8. riding the bus with upper classmen
9. being labelled
10. bullies
Up until then, no one knew where Linda's apartment was. She'd wanted to have T overnight Friday but Kennan said no, he didn't know where her place was. It could be in a bad area and he'd worry about T. So Linda grudgingly brought him back on Friday.
Yesterday when she showed up to pick up the little guy, she handed Kennan's mother a piece of paper and asked her to give it to Kennan. That's all she said, never a word about "Can I keep him overnight" and never called Kennan to ask either. The paper turned out to have her new address and phone written there.
Kennan was upset and he had every right to be. With his mother, he drove to the police department in the town where Linda is now living.
Meanwhile, Michele called us from TN and started in on TB. She was trying to pull all the guilt strings on him--that he doesn't love Linda, who is all alone now and has no one, that she (Michele) promised her dying mother she'd keep the family together and now look what happened; that we should have tossed Billy and Heidi out a long time ago (where'd that come from? left field?) and that she's jealous of the three kids because they have what she never had. Poor TB was so upset, I thought his blood pressure was going to go through the roof! He suggested that Michele read the story of the prodigal son and then they could discuss Linda.
After that, Kennan called to say he had Little T back.
After that, Linda called, trying to tell us something. TB didn't want to talk to her and I was having trouble understanding her and so we arranged for her to come and talk to us today. She came over with a big chip on her shoulder, all angry because Kennan had brought the police. She became even angrier when she realized that we weren't going to be on her side at all. "Blood is thicker than water," she said.
"True," I said, "and Tomas is our blood so we are looking out for his best interests. That is that he should stay with his father. You should have visitation, you are his mother but there's no way you should have custody."
Both TB and I pointed out the ways she'd been neglectful to T. She jumped up and ran for the door. "I don't know why I bothered coming over here!"
I didn't know either.
The door slammed and she yelled, "I hope I broke it!"
Real mature. But the most important thing is that the little guy is safely back with his father.
Today, as children return to school, the Meme Express is all about school lunches. Here are a few questions to whet your appetite:
Do you remember eating lunch at school? I sure do
Did you purchase your lunch or bring it with you?
Most of the time I brought it with me
Did you carry a sack or a lunch box?
In elementary school, I had lunch boxes; in junior and senior high, I brown bagged it
If you had a lunch box, what was on it? My favorite was a soft pink Barbie lunch box
What was your favorite school lunch? It's been so long ... probably spaghetti
What was your least favorite menu item?
spinach and the meat surprise
Do you remember any of the cafeteria staff? It's been so many years, no
What friends sat with you for lunch? All my best friends from the different grades. I can't remember all their names. Senior lunch was best because we had our own lounge. That was pretty cool!
10 Things You Didn’t Like About School
1. Public showers after PE
2. PE
3. Homework
4. Math
5. Boring teachers
6. Alphabetical seating
7. Studying for tests
8. riding the bus with upper classmen
9. being labelled
10. bullies
Saturday, July 26
Awesome News!
God answers prayers, not always as fast as we want or need but He does and doesn't leave us alone when we are suffering. I was making some Angel Food ministry calls when TB came into the room, his face very pale, and said "I need you to check our bank account."
My first thought was that we were overdrawn but TB said, "No, it's not that."
Then I knew. I had to look to make sure first but I knew what it must be: social security had accepted TB and sent a first payment. Sure enough, that's what it was and that's why poor TB looked like he was about to pass out! He thought at first he'd gotten into the wrong account but when he saw his social security number he knew it had to be true.
So we jumped up and down and screamed and praised God.
The same thing happened to me when I was awarded social security disability. The money was deposited in my account first before I even got any award letter. Today, we got something from SSA but it still wasn't the award letter...it was something about pin numbers. Go figure!
Later on that Thursday, we went and picked up Little T and spent the afternoon with him.
At some point, the phone rang. It was TB's sister with more incredible news. Gram had come home from a doctor's visit to find Linda and her boyfriend letting their hormones run wild and free. They had to get their clothes and get out. It was the last straw as Gram has been realizing that Linda really is a mooch and a liar but unfortunately Gram is out $3000.
Linda is now in a hotel paid for by social services in Ocean County.
Little T is with his father.
The hearing is Tuesday.
Could the timing be better?
I feel like a great weight is off my shoulders and very much like a deflated balloon. It's taken me a few days to recover from the shock of the money and also Linda's indiscretion. The depression and despair has been lifting and it feels good.
We aren't going to lose the house.
Yippeeeeeeeee!
My first thought was that we were overdrawn but TB said, "No, it's not that."
Then I knew. I had to look to make sure first but I knew what it must be: social security had accepted TB and sent a first payment. Sure enough, that's what it was and that's why poor TB looked like he was about to pass out! He thought at first he'd gotten into the wrong account but when he saw his social security number he knew it had to be true.
So we jumped up and down and screamed and praised God.
The same thing happened to me when I was awarded social security disability. The money was deposited in my account first before I even got any award letter. Today, we got something from SSA but it still wasn't the award letter...it was something about pin numbers. Go figure!
Later on that Thursday, we went and picked up Little T and spent the afternoon with him.
At some point, the phone rang. It was TB's sister with more incredible news. Gram had come home from a doctor's visit to find Linda and her boyfriend letting their hormones run wild and free. They had to get their clothes and get out. It was the last straw as Gram has been realizing that Linda really is a mooch and a liar but unfortunately Gram is out $3000.
Linda is now in a hotel paid for by social services in Ocean County.
Little T is with his father.
The hearing is Tuesday.
Could the timing be better?
I feel like a great weight is off my shoulders and very much like a deflated balloon. It's taken me a few days to recover from the shock of the money and also Linda's indiscretion. The depression and despair has been lifting and it feels good.
We aren't going to lose the house.
Yippeeeeeeeee!
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