Happy New Year From the Gang

Thanks so much for all the New Year's wishes! I wasn't able to upload pictures of the gang when I posted because my camera was acting wonky. Today it was working!

Amber sez, I wuz waiting for you, Mommy-Bean, so's I could wish effuryone a happy new year!

Indigo sez, I turned the music up louder so we could sell-a-brate! Effuryone likes "Cats" right?

Munchkin sez, Puh-leeze! I'm just recovering from the first sell-a-bration!

Mouse sez, Me too, but happy new year anyway!

Kosmo sez, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....

Cubby sez, Um, hai, looks like Mommy found my hidey place under hers desk! Happy New Year to effuryone!

Now that it's so cold, the cats have been snuggly with us and with each other. Kitties that wouldn't tolerate being in the same room with each other (Indigo, Munchkin) now share the same bed. I'd like to think it's the Christmas spirit lingering on but I have a feeling it's got more to do with warmth than anything else!

Happy New Year!

We had a quiet but very pleasant New Year last night. Everyone was home for a change and so we watched movies and snacked heavily right up until the ball dropped ushering in 2011. The gang couldn't have cared less about any of it and just went about their business as usual. All of us send very best wishes for a bright, happy and prosperous New Year!

Trying to catch up

I knew I hadn't updated in ages but hadn't realized how long it's been!

Going back to school ended up being much more demanding than I thought but it was worth it. I still feel wiped out though!

Finals began December 15th. I found out all my grades right before Christmas and it was a very nice gift! I earned 4 A's and a B+. A couple of things I learned: I'm not too old to go back to school and can retain information in my brain most of the time. I still have my fibro days but there weren't enough of them to throw me off completely. Another thing I learned is that I can still write stories well. My instructor wanted me to try and get one of them published so that's something I want to work on for the New Year. I learned I can sort of teach myself when I have an instructor who's very disorganized. Most of all, I felt challenged and stimulated by these classes.

From finals, I went right to trying to prep for Christmas. I didn't have much time to devote to decorating or cards or baking or wrapping or any of that stuff while school was going on. If I thought I was going to be able to sit back and relax after finals, I was sure wrong! I probably could have let go of some of these things--like Christmas cards--but I just wasn't ready to do that and so I didn't.

Now, though, I sort of feel like a popped balloon. I keep telling myself there's things I should be doing but my body and brain are saying "uh uh". I decided to listen to my body and that part of my brain saying "uh uh" and am just resting. I read a little, I nap a lot and I just have been "vegging out" since Christmas.

The new semester starts in about three weeks. My batteries should be recharged by then.

TB's been suffering a lot and I worry about him. The pain meds don't seem to be helping very well. He has this issue with his hip now. He needs a shot using a fluoroscopic machine. We were supposed to go on the 27th but then there was this massive snow storm and so it was put off until January 3.

The doctors don't seem to be sure what's going on with his hip. An Xray seemed to show a foreign body (like a piece of arthritis) floating around. He had a CAT scan of his hip and one of the surgeons that looked at it thought he had a torn cartilage.

Why aren't they doing surgery to correct the problem? I don't get it. I don't get the explanation--that TB's baseline pain medical management and fibromyalgia makes the prognosis not hopeful. The surgeon wanted him to put up with the pain until he can't stand it anymore. Well...it's at that point now!

It looks like we're getting a loan modification after all from Bank of America. TB got the news over the phone just before Christmas but they've told us so many stories that I didn't believe it. I wanted to see it in writing and the paperwork just got here. We have a three month trial modification period starting in February. I am cautiously thrilled. I guess I still don't trust the bank and have heard other stories of the modification being cancelled capriciously. We'll see.

The three kids are still hanging in with us. They're all in school full time, working part time and right now not in a position to be able to live on their own.

The gang is doing great! Is the cold winter the reason they've all become extra snuggly lately?

So that's the major stuff that's been going on around here since I blogged last.

Best wishes for a happy and safe New Year!

Celebrate!

Have a happy and safe and aparkling Fourth of July!

Donnybrook at the Not O.K. Corral

words of anger, hurt and resentment have passed.

TB and I have said to Linda we didn't want her putting the TV on all day for herself and Little T to watch, particularly when it's Sponge Bob. I happen to enjoy Sponge Bob once in a while but it's no way to stimulate a little boy with PDD. She doesn't listen. Maybe we need to buy a $54 dollar switch for the TV so that she can't turn it on when we're not around--or even if we're there.

Then there were some words about how she needs to be a more connected parent, in tune with her child's needs and interacting with him, encouraging him to build on the skills that he has and to us his words. It can't all be Nana and Pop-Pop's doing, the mother has to be involved.

And then there's the mega mooching issue. TB was upset, granted, when he said to Linda, "I don't want you to watch our TV period!", but he meant it.

That was supposed to be part of the plan to "emancipate" these adult kids. Originally we meant to start with no TV when Tomas is awake--play with the boy, interact with him, read to him, encourage him. Then we were going to move to no TV for you at all. Susan, our therapist, said we had to find something that she likes and withdraw it to make her uncomfortable enough to want to move.

It's like poking a hibernating bear. Poke, poke, poke when all it wants to do is lie there and what happens?

Last night, after Little T was in bed, Linda comes down and turns on the TV. TB and I had retreated to our sanctuary, our room at the back of the house where we are pretty much insulated from sound unless someone comes barging in. We discussed the issue briefly and TB said, "I don't want to deal with any conflicts tonight." I can understand how he feels. Believe me, I already have too much agita.

It was about 11:30 at night when Linda came to the door because Kristin wouldn't leave her alone. They proceeded to start yelling and I forcibly moved forward to get them back down the hall and into the living room so that TB wouldn't hear the commotion. Kristin realized that Linda was watching TV, knew TB didn't want her to and was giving her hell.

Linda's first response was what are you talking about and why are you treating me this way?

So then I said your doesn't want you watching the TV--he told you that last night. He didn't say anything when you turned it on because he just couldn't deal with the stress.

So Linda says to Kristin, so why are you involved? This is none of your business.

And Kristin went off on her with all the anger she'd been bottling up: Linda doesn't help, she just sits and watches TV all the time with the little one, she doesn't take care of him, she doesn't take care of her responsibilities, creditors call the house all the time, she owes us money for paying to keep her car from being repossessed and we've paid some of her medical bills and what has she given back in return and on and on and on.

And Linda just yelled back, what business is it of yours? It's not your business.

Which only inflamed Kristin further. I care about Mom and Ted and this is hurting their health and you don't care and we could lose this house, well, I don't want to lose it and if you're not going to help us keep it then you should get out and on and on.

Brings back memories of my childhood. There is nothing worse than a fight like this around the holidays. Somehow all the pent up rage and resentment over unresolved issues just pours forth like gravy over the holidays. I wonder why that is?

Of course, nothing was resolved. Heidi was in the family room in the back, shaking with anxiety and rage, not wanting to get dragged into the middle. Billy came out to try and play peacemaker and so I retreated to the family room because I could not be neutral. I felt all my anger and resentment toward her surging forth too and so I sat with Heidi and comforted her and told her she didn't have to take sides. Deep breathing, deep breathing.

Billy finally got everyone calmed down to the point where I was no longer thinking the oldest and the youngest were going to duke it out with their fists.

To my horror, though, a new plan grows in the mind of the Mega Mooch. Having run through all the friends and families she has, she's fixing her sites on a new victim, or victims. Billy mentioned that when Linda gets her own apartment in February, the cost is $725--and if he and Heidi went in it with her, they could carry it easily.

I was horrified. I told him that Linda has mooched off everyone her whole life and that she would do the same to him and to Heidi. All Billy has to do is ask Ted, ask Michele, ask Kennan, ask Linda's Aunt Lynn and Uncle John, and her ex-friends who've all thrown her out for mega mooching.

I couldn't get to sleep until 4 a.m. and when I woke up it was the first thing on my mind.

Happy Thanksgiving!