Friday, March 6
Feline Friday: The New Toy
Want more cat blogging? Check out Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest and links to all the cat blogging carnivals going on this weekend!
Wednesday, March 4
Moving out?
I had a long talk with Heidi around lunch time. We met at Burger King (neutral ground) to talk about what's going on. I hadn't seen her since she went slamming out of here on Saturday.
Meanwhile, TB and I had come up with a contract for the adult kids living here that basically stated what we expected in terms of behavior, room & board, and chores and we emphasized throughout that verbal abuse would not be tolerated. Anticipating that Heidi would still be living here, we added in her contract that we'd contact crisis intervention and the police if things got out of control. We made up one agreement for Billy and one for Heidi so that she wouldn't feel like we were singling her out.
I don't think now she plans to come back. Right now she is staying with her friend Marianne and she may have a good deal going. She told me that the parents haven't asked her for rent money and said she could stay with them as long as she needed to. So...why would she come back knowing she'd need to pay us room & board *and* do dishes besides?
She is putting a lot of the blame on TB and taking very little of the responsibility for herself although she says she is "better" now that she is "not getting yelled at all the time." She didn't react when I said that her anger and tantrums scared us and stressed us out and that on Mondays and Wednesdays (her dish nights) I just want to hide under the bed.
I feel sad and glad at the same time. I do miss her but I don't miss the bad behavior. I love her but not the screaming, cursing and name calling.
She wanted to make sure she was still welcome at home if she wanted to visit and I said, of course.
She doesn't want to decide one way or the other yet. She knows if she moves out she will have to get her own car insurance and phone. If she's not going to be charged anything she'll be able to afford it on what she makes. If she does decide to move back, she knows she'll have a contract to follow.
I have very mixed feelings. I want her to be happy.
Meanwhile, TB and I had come up with a contract for the adult kids living here that basically stated what we expected in terms of behavior, room & board, and chores and we emphasized throughout that verbal abuse would not be tolerated. Anticipating that Heidi would still be living here, we added in her contract that we'd contact crisis intervention and the police if things got out of control. We made up one agreement for Billy and one for Heidi so that she wouldn't feel like we were singling her out.
I don't think now she plans to come back. Right now she is staying with her friend Marianne and she may have a good deal going. She told me that the parents haven't asked her for rent money and said she could stay with them as long as she needed to. So...why would she come back knowing she'd need to pay us room & board *and* do dishes besides?
She is putting a lot of the blame on TB and taking very little of the responsibility for herself although she says she is "better" now that she is "not getting yelled at all the time." She didn't react when I said that her anger and tantrums scared us and stressed us out and that on Mondays and Wednesdays (her dish nights) I just want to hide under the bed.
I feel sad and glad at the same time. I do miss her but I don't miss the bad behavior. I love her but not the screaming, cursing and name calling.
She wanted to make sure she was still welcome at home if she wanted to visit and I said, of course.
She doesn't want to decide one way or the other yet. She knows if she moves out she will have to get her own car insurance and phone. If she's not going to be charged anything she'll be able to afford it on what she makes. If she does decide to move back, she knows she'll have a contract to follow.
I have very mixed feelings. I want her to be happy.
Tuesday, March 3
Cats on Tuesday: How to spend a snowy morning
What nicer way to spend a snowy morning than relaxing and snuggling with your human pet?
Mouse and Amber would like to have a turn too but Kosmo is not sharing!
Want more cat blogging?
Be sure to check out Gattina's blog. Today is also Tuxie Tuesday and then there's Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!
Monday, March 2
Man Cat Monday: It's good to share on a cold day!
Cubby & Mouse: Mom Bean left her cape draped over her chair which made it nice, warm and snuggly to cuddle on.
With all that snow coming down outside it's important to share and stay warm!
Ah, this is the life!
Want more cat blogging? Be sure to check out Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!
Sunday, March 1
More Depressing Stuff
None of us have been feeling so great this weekend. I lost my voice on Thursday and have been feeling kind of pukey since. Yesterday, Billy had some kind of virus and was sick to his stomach to the point where he called out of work. He hung out in the family room, just relaxing, sipping fluids and trying not to puke.
Heidi came home from work around 9. I knew she wanted to have her friend Marianne come over and I hadn't really thought about Billy being sick in the family room. He was watching a movie that would end at ten and Heidi began yelling at him and telling him he'd been in the family room long enough and it was time to go upstairs. Even Kristin was chiming in on that (although not as loudly).
I told Heidi to stop that. Billy lives here too, he's sick and she shouldn't be telling him to get out of the family room. Billy said he just wanted to watch until the end of his movie and then he'd go upstairs. That wasn't good enough for Heidi so then TB and I said she should go to Marianne's instead.
As she stormed upstairs for something, Heidi was muttering (loud enough for us to hear) that she "fucking hated" us. TB goes, "I heard that, you can't talk that way to us! You can stay upstairs."
Heidi goes, "What? I don't have to listen to you--I'm going out."
And TB goes, "Good--stay out!"
More cursing, slamming of doors and then Heidi goes out the front door. I hear the garbage pails outside sailing around and suddenly she comes in the back door into the family room and starts attacking Billy again, with Kristin joining in again.
I yell at her to get out, go to Marianne's. She yells she's here for a movie but does go slamming out and leaves.
TB is saying to me, I can't stand this anymore.
I'm shaking.
Kristin goes upstairs crying saying she's mad at Billy.
For crying out loud!!!
We finished watching our movie and then I realized I'd gotten two cell phone text messages from Heidi, one that says she thinks about killing herself everyday but I'm too busy worrying about TB to notice and the other that she misses talking to me.
I texted her back right away but get no answer. Then I try calling her phone--and Marianne's...still no answer. I told TB about the messages and he suggested I call intervention--which is probably what we should have done in the first place but everything happened so damn fast!
They can't do anything because we don't know where Heidi is. They suggest I keep trying to get ahold of Heidi and find out her frame of mind.
So I call and call and finally Marianne answers the phone and I ask if Heidi is there. She is and I ask to speak to her. She's very upset but has calmed down and doesn't seem to be suicidal (although she does say she thinks about it). She says she's staying over with Marianne and will probably be there all day Sunday because she "just can't deal with Ted."
It's always someone else's fault. I feel like crying because she desperately needs help and I don't know what to do anymore.
Heidi came home from work around 9. I knew she wanted to have her friend Marianne come over and I hadn't really thought about Billy being sick in the family room. He was watching a movie that would end at ten and Heidi began yelling at him and telling him he'd been in the family room long enough and it was time to go upstairs. Even Kristin was chiming in on that (although not as loudly).
I told Heidi to stop that. Billy lives here too, he's sick and she shouldn't be telling him to get out of the family room. Billy said he just wanted to watch until the end of his movie and then he'd go upstairs. That wasn't good enough for Heidi so then TB and I said she should go to Marianne's instead.
As she stormed upstairs for something, Heidi was muttering (loud enough for us to hear) that she "fucking hated" us. TB goes, "I heard that, you can't talk that way to us! You can stay upstairs."
Heidi goes, "What? I don't have to listen to you--I'm going out."
And TB goes, "Good--stay out!"
More cursing, slamming of doors and then Heidi goes out the front door. I hear the garbage pails outside sailing around and suddenly she comes in the back door into the family room and starts attacking Billy again, with Kristin joining in again.
I yell at her to get out, go to Marianne's. She yells she's here for a movie but does go slamming out and leaves.
TB is saying to me, I can't stand this anymore.
I'm shaking.
Kristin goes upstairs crying saying she's mad at Billy.
For crying out loud!!!
We finished watching our movie and then I realized I'd gotten two cell phone text messages from Heidi, one that says she thinks about killing herself everyday but I'm too busy worrying about TB to notice and the other that she misses talking to me.
I texted her back right away but get no answer. Then I try calling her phone--and Marianne's...still no answer. I told TB about the messages and he suggested I call intervention--which is probably what we should have done in the first place but everything happened so damn fast!
They can't do anything because we don't know where Heidi is. They suggest I keep trying to get ahold of Heidi and find out her frame of mind.
So I call and call and finally Marianne answers the phone and I ask if Heidi is there. She is and I ask to speak to her. She's very upset but has calmed down and doesn't seem to be suicidal (although she does say she thinks about it). She says she's staying over with Marianne and will probably be there all day Sunday because she "just can't deal with Ted."
It's always someone else's fault. I feel like crying because she desperately needs help and I don't know what to do anymore.
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