Snow in October

Now I know there are places where snow in October is the norm...but it ain't around here. Today TB and I made our shopping run after dropping Kristin off at her class and Heidi off at work. It was pouring down rain and cold. When we got out of Walmart, the rain drops were fat and heavy and I suspected the dreaded *snow* was mixed in. After Shoprite, we were sure. We were getting ice pellets and hearing reports of accumulating snow in northern Jersey. Sigh.

I love snow. I do. But I love it in winter, not in fall or spring! Who wants to see the little kid trick-or-treaters running around in heavy coats over their costumes? That's no fun! I also miss fall and spring weather. It seems like we get a few days of each and then the rest of the year is summer or winter.

I finally gave in and turned the heat on very low last night. I was hoping to hold out until November but the weather just didn't cooperate.

One benefit to the chilliness in the house: the cats all want to nap with us. I have pictures to share on Cats on Tuesday of various members of the gang. This afternoon I had Munchkin snuggled up under the covers, Mouse on top of the covers curled by my feet, and Kosmo and Cubby lying nearby and providing their own heat. It's like having space heaters all over the bed! :)

I wonder how the people at Occupy Philadelphia will fare. I know they want to stay no matter what the weather but today will definitely be a test. With the heavy rain, cold, and snow, if they can withstand this they may actually make it through colder weather. At this point, I think I would be a fair weather protestor and would pack my stuff up and go. My body ain't what it used to be.

TB still has pain and discomfort from the hernia surgery. I've been looking at his abdomen and the redness doesn't seem to be spreading but it's also not going away. I wonder if we should be contacting the surgeon but TB says we were to do that only if the redness was spreading. Fortunately, there is another appointment with Dr. Greenbaum on Wednesday so we'll see what he says!

The state (lack thereof) of public transportation around here

We're not a well-to-do community by any means. Not everyone (gasp!) can afford a car. The trouble is, around here, there's little to no access to any alternate means of transportation.

When I first moved here almost 10 years ago, I was shocked to learn that there's absolutely no taxi service. I'd moved from Long Island where there seems to be hundreds of cabbies going anywhere you needed them to go. I asked why no cabs would come to our town and I got two answers. One was because there are some areas with high drug usage (yeah? I bet there's lots of places like that in New York too! What, New York cabbies are braver or something?) and the other was because this is a poor area. Ahem. Not a lot of money to be made here. It seems unreasonable and outrageous to me. My son and I have both been approached by people we barely know, asking for a ride here there or home because there was no other way to get there. We both gave rides to those elderly or frail women but come on! They deserve better than to have to beg rides!

Having a cab available sure would have been helpful for us today. TB was having his tooth pulled at 8 and Kristin needed to be in her class 40 minutes away by 9. That was okay but ... how would TB get home? The class would go until 11:30. Bill was available to bring TB home if it could be done by 9:45. Then Bill would have to go to work. Heidi was already at work. Luckily, TB's tooth pulled without complications and so Bill was able to bring him home. If it had gone the other way, TB would have had a long uncomfortable wait. Either that, or I would have had to go in and pull Kristin from her class. Meanwhile, if we had taxi service, then all TB need do is call a cab if his appointment ran late. Good thing it didn't!

And the buses! They run once every two hours if you're lucky and then you have to have transportation to the bus stop. If we had no car, first we'd have to walk a mile for the little bus that runs around town and take it to the grocery store where Kristin works, hoping the arrival time will more or less coincide with the big bus that runs up the main drag. The schedule usually doesn't match and so you end up having to wait somewhere for a couple of hours coming or going.

To save gas and wear and tear on her old car, Heidi drives to the bus stop and then catches the big bus to the grocery store where she works. If she works from 8 to 3, she has to catch the 7 a.m. bus (which is fine) but then there's no bus in the afternoon until almost 5.

Kristin is one of the few kids around who has no car (can't afford one and we can't afford to get one for her) and can't drive (can't afford the insurance and neither can we) so I take her to her ASL class at the campus located 20 or 25 miles from home. With the cost of gas, there's no way I'd drop her off and go home like I do when she has classes at the local campus.

I called the bus company which was a total waste of time. I called the township and wasted more of my time. That kind of response is just one of the reasons I am so mad and fed up.

Miscellaneous Stuff

Today TB is having hernia surgery. He's not allowed to eat or drink anything, not since midnight last night, and so he's pretty out of it. Originally we were supposed to go to the hospital at 9. TB was supposed to see his orthopedic doctor and had to cancel that appointment. Then around 7:30 the hospital called and changed the admission time to 11. It was really annoying because TB needed a refill of his pain medications.

It's so hard to watch him suffer. I'm helpless because there's nothing I can do. His tooth is especially causing a lot of agony and he'll chew a percocet and put it into the broken area. Sometimes that helps relieve the pain but not always. Then there is the chronic pain he has from busting his hump for an ungrateful employer all those years. Funny...you think you're doing the right thing by working hard but then you learn quick what a mistake it was when you get kicked to the curb after becoming disabled. I wish surgery would help the pain in TB's back but the doctors say it won't.

I think Occupy Philadelphia at least is becoming more organized and trying to set goals. I gave feedback about which issues I felt were most important and what I thought protestors ought to do about it. I hope they hear back from a lot of people. I really want to see this movement take off. One thing I would like to see is lobbying for healthcare for everyone. Poor people should be able to buy into a policy they can afford. I'd also like to see that fair trade act repealed--the one that gives credits to businesses allowing them to outsource. Even if we can't bring back the jobs already lost, let's save future jobs from going overseas. I've heard about another company laying off all their workers and setting up in the far East.

I heard the tail end of a story about a possible COLA for social security recipients--the first one in years--of about 3%. For a person now receiving about $1,000 a month it would mean an extra $30. Wow! With it, I can order a monthly supply of the bariatric vitamins TB and I need. Or we could get one half tank of gas. Something is better than nothing, which is what we've been having.

Speaking of bariatric surgery, TB and I had our annual visits with the surgeon and we're both doing great! I've lost 87% of my excess weight and TB 76%. My calcium was a little low so my PTH (thyroid) level was high. I need to take more calcium, no biggie. We both were low on Vitamin D so we need to boost the levels we take. No biggie, just means the vitamins will be a little more expensive.

Kristin decided to carry a double major. She met with an advisor to talk about what she needs to take to fulfill all the requirements. Kristin already had a schedule for herself mapped out for the near future and had questions written down so she wouldn't forget what to ask. I was really impressed with her organization!

Munchkin may be a bit of a bully but we still love her. One of the things I love most is when I nap or sleep. She will go under the covers and snuggle with me. I fall asleep stroking her fur. It's very soothing. The cats like to hang out on our bed. Many times we have five of them lounging around and it seems to be the one time they all get along!

Time to get ready to go to the hospital!

Stretching the dollar on a busy day

Saturday's become our major shopping day since the fall semester began. Kristin is taking a course at the community college campus about 40 minutes away. It so happens that Walmart and Shoprite are along that route so we drop her off first and then go on our merry way.

Gas prices have gone up at least a dollar a gallon since last year and that's really hurt us. We only have so much to budget for gas and can't really change the amount so we're getting a lot less and have to curtail our driving quite a bit. I am really ticked about the gas prices. Maybe that's another sign I would bring to Take Over Philly. The prices go up, come down, and then jump up again for no rhyme or reason other than (I suspect) corporate greed by the oil companies. I don't mean the jump you get around the holidays. I mean like what happened in recent weeks. The price of gas went down fifty cents, to around $3.13. Now it's jumped back up again. Why? Who knows!

I collect the grocery flyers and look through them carefully to see who's got the best price on what I need. Usually Shoprite has decent deals on meat (although prices have gone up) but not this week. No chicken or ribs or sausage or anything. However, at Acme (the store closest to us), they had a 4/$19.99 meat sale going on.

We usually skip Acme when we shop because they have the highest prices around. The 4/$19.99 special is okay though. The packages are supposed to be enough to feed a family of four. Before our surgeries, this wouldn't have worked for us. TB and I eat as if we were one person and so the meals do make it. We just don't have left overs. We're able to get ground beef, whole chickens, sausage and ground turkey.

So with the flyers I have, I make lists. I haven't been clipping manufacturer coupons because they really haven't helped me. Most of them are for products I don't use. When they are for something we us, I find the store or generic brand is cheaper. I do use store coupons though. As long as we make a $25 purchase, we can save money on things like deli cheese, produce, sometimes meat or shrimp, and dairy stuff.

Walmart's been a place to save money since they opened a refrigerated section. They are not a super Walmart because they don't have meat or produce but they have just about everything else. Their canned, bottled, and boxed foods tend to be less expensive than Shoprite. Another thing is, they match prices from other stores. I haven't taken advantage of that yet mainly because it would be a little confusing. I'd be bringing five flyers to show them that red cabbage is blah-blah at Stop & Shop, tuna is 10/$10 at Shoprite, bread is so much at Super Fresh and so on. But as prices for food goes up and our budget has no more wiggle room, I'll have to do that.

I'm sure a lot of people have to shop this way these days.

We had a busier day today because we needed to stop for TB's cat scan appointment. This is another test the doctor ordered to figure out why he had so much protein in his urine. Hopefully this will explain it.

Which bright lights decided this?

Way back when, I'd asked our Medicare Part D counselor about dental insurance since Medicare didn't cover it. He answered that getting dental insurance was way expensive and it would be cheaper just to pay out of pocket. Maybe he's was right then but we sure need the insurance now. I called Medicare to find out if they'd cover Ted's broken tooth since it's now an emergency and they said no.

I next called our secondary. Sometimes when the primary doesn't cover a service, the secondary will pick it up. That's when I discovered the dismaying news that the secondary is not allowed to. If it's not covered by Medicare, none of the secondaries can pick it up. I asked why and the representative could only tell me that's what the people in Washington decided.

Sure. These are the same people who enjoy full coverage of any type.

It makes no sense to exclude dental and vision from the elderly and the disabled. All of us need cavities filled or teeth pulled or root canaled or what have you. When a tooth goes bad and becomes infected, that infection can spread to the heart. That would lead to an emergency room visit and probably a hospital stay, maybe even death, and sure that's more costly than providing for routine visits so it never gets to that point. As for glasses, what's up with that? The older you are the more likely you are to need glasses. What are fixed income people supposed to do if there's no generous Lion's Club in the neighborhood? Drive around half blind? I guess so.

Hearing aids aren't covered either. As we get older, our hearing diminishes. TB is already pretty much deaf in both ears. Luckily he got hearing aids before he became totally disabled. I guess everyone else just has to take ASL classes. :P

If I ever get to the Take Over Philly protest, my signs would be about health insurance reform. I would like to see President Obama's original health bill passed but I think that will never happen unless there's a major rising. The Take Over movement has the right idea but they're not focused. Everyone's protesting different things and there's no real unity. People are just fed up with everything but I don't know that change can come of something that generic. :P

Everything is Going Up But My Income Blues

So there was a report out a couple of days ago that people's income has fallen even further since the recession "ended". It was no surprise to me and just pissed me off the rest of the hour. I guess I shouldn't watch the news with my coffee anymore. :P Well, what is the reason for that since we are in recovery? One is that there are more and more unemployed and underemployed people. Another is that hardly anyone is getting a raise anymore. Still another is that the price of everything is going up.

I noticed my grocery bill was getting higher although the stuff I was getting was basically the same. Lately I've been reading the receipts carefully to make sure I'm getting the sale prices. If it ain't on sale, I don't get it. Of course, with some things I have no choice, like eggs. For the five of us, I get 18 eggs and now they're $4.19! Sometimes I get a coupon for them and I use them whenever I do. Another is coffee. I used to be able to get coffee at Walmart for $5.99. Now it's closer to $10. That's for the larger size. I used to get hamburger meat for $.99 and whole chickens for $.69. Now they're $2.49 and $1.99 on sale respectively.

It's not just food. Our electric bill jumped up because they were allowed a rate increase. Our health insurance (the secondary to Medicare and prescription plan) both nearly doubled.

All of that has just about trashed our budget. It used to be that we had enough for the bills and expenses with a little left over to save or for unforeseen expenses. Now we have just enough to scrape by. We're supposed to have three to six months of income saved in case of an emergency; we don't even have a week's worth saved after the hits our savings took from the vet and the bankruptcy attorney.

So now we come to TB's tooth. We shared with our therapist about going to the dental schools in Newark or Philly and she came up with someone who might be able to help us who is closer. There is also a dentist that TB used to see. This afternoon I began calling around. The place the therapist suggested told me an extraction would cost between $160-$400. For one tooth.

The doctor TB used to see would charge between $100-$190 depending on how complicated the procedure is. For one tooth.

I think it wasn't so long ago you could get a tooth pulled for less than $100.

The dental schools might be free but this time around TB wants someone who has experience, not a student, to mess with his broken tooth.

Now I'm going to be checking into all the secondary health plans to see if any offer dental or vision. I think it's ridiculous that they don't. When you can't take care of your teeth and they go bad, it's dangerous. When you can't get glasses and have to drive on the road with ten year old prescriptions, it's bad.

It might be tiresome that all I do lately is rant and rave about depressing stuff like this but this is my life right now and I can't hide it anymore.

Rock on, Take Over Wall Street and Take Over Philadelphia and Take Over Wherever Movements!

A Bag of Apples

The growing nationwide protests against corporate greed is beginning to remind me of the protests of the '60s and '70s. I remember the news coverage but wasn't really sure what to think. I was too young and immature to really come to any kind of conclusions about them.

In 1976, though, I was 21 and participated in a demonstration and sit-in at the then HEW (Health, Education & Welfare) building in Washington, D.C. The protest was because the regulations for the Vocational Rehabilitation Act of 1973 were still unsigned. This was a law that was supposed to stop discrimination against the disabled in the educational and workplace settings. It was a good law but couldn't be enforced because the HEW Secretary hadn't signed the regulations. After all these years, I don't remember why he hadn't and I don't remember why he wouldn't when the "oversight" was pointed out to him. The disabled community got fed up--pretty much the way the dwindling middle class has become fed up.

I was working at the National Center for Law and the Deaf. My boss was the executive director. We had lawyers working there that took on all kinds of cases, mostly having to do with discrimination. My boss was more on the advocacy end. Anyway, he called a meeting with all of us and explained the upcoming protest. If we decided to go along, we'd be picketing outside the building--with the possibility of going in and sitting in overnight or for days--as long as it would take to get Secretary Califano to sign the regs. My boss said it was all intended to be peaceful but that there was a good chance we'd be arrested for trespass if we sat in.

I decided to go. I'd seen my parents suffer discrimination almost everywhere and some of the experiences were pretty humiliating. I knew other Deaf people also were oppressed and had been discriminated against. I was young and the thought of jail didn't scare me.

There were hundreds and hundreds of people at the protest. Hundreds were blind; hundreds were in wheelchairs; hundreds had all sorts of disabilities. We carried signs and marched. At some point, I saw my boss meeting with the leaders of other groups. He came over to us and said a group was going to go into the building. Two Deaf employees and I volunteered to go in with my boss and the others. The leaders of the other groups were asking for their own volunteers. There was at least 20 of us going in.

When we got to Secretary Califano's office, my boss asked to meet with him. Mr. Califano's secretary looked at us with an expression of amusement and confusion. She informed us that Mr. Califano was out. Of course. So we all sat down on the floor.

It was later in the afternoon. I'd only brought my purse and a jacket with me. I was wondering if I should have brought more stuff...like food. The two Deaf employees, Susan and Fred, were friends of mine and sat down next to me. We spent the next few hours just chatting. I saw my boss conferring with Deaf leaders Fred Schreiber and T.J. O'Rourke. Around 4:30, the secretaries packed up and left for the day. We were on our own--or so we thought.

Within the hour, the police had shown up. Until then, we'd freely gone to get a drink of water from the fountain or go to the bathroom. The police wouldn't let us anymore, except for once an hour. For some reason, they wanted us to take our shoes off.

My boss used the phone--this was before cell phones!--to call a pay phone outside. He and the other lawyers had previously arranged this system to be used in case we went into the building. He could get news from the street this way. Around 7, he asked one of the lawyers to order pizza for everyone in the building.

About an hour later, the lawyer called from the pay phone and told my boss the pizza delivery guy had been stopped at the door. No one would be allowed in. Well, of course we should have anticipated that.

Fred Schreiber and T.J. O'Rourke were both excellent storytellers and that was our entertainment for the evening. Trying to tell a Deaf story in writing just loses too much in translation. There's a lot of facial expression and feeling that goes into the stories. You have to see it to appreciate it.

I remember one tense incident though. Schreiber's wife showed up with his prescriptions and the police wouldn't let her come in. They didn't want to bring the medication themselves either. We found out, of course, by a call from the pay phone. I remember my boss got on the phone with the policeman in charge and arguing with him. Politics and position mean everything, though, because Schreiber got his medication when my boss said, "Do you really want the president of the National Association of the Deaf to possibly die because you wouldn't let him have his heart medication? There's press outside all over the place!"

It was hard to get comfortable because we had to sit or lie down on the floor. The lights stayed on. The air conditioning was turned up full blast. We knew all of this was designed to make us uncomfortable and leave. The thing is, we felt totally committed to our cause. We'd tried to get the regs signed the proper way and had been confounded time after time. All around the country, the disabled and advocates had gotten fed up. There were sit-ins in other HEW buildings as well.

Around 2 in the morning, I rolled my coat up in a ball and went to sleep. My two friends curled up on either side of me. We didn't sleep soundly but we got some rest.

I woke up around six the next morning and sat up sleepily. The elevator doors opened and an elderly man stepped out. I recognized him as an employee of HEW. He approached us with a bag in his arms. The police standing guard didn't really notice him right away. When they did, they moved on him and that's when he threw the bag into the room with us.

Apples began bouncing everywhere as a couple of cops grabbed that elderly man and threw him against the wall. Other cops ran into the room, grabbing for the apples and snatching them out of the hands of the protestors. It was the craziest thing I'd ever seen. I think the cops got all the apples back. They pushed the elderly man into the elevator and I had no idea what was going to happen to him. After the whole thing was over, I found out he'd been ejected from the building. He'd heard we had no food and had bought the apples from a produce stand.

We didn't stay inside the building very long after that. Too many protestors had health issues and so we ended up leaving.

As a result of the protests, though, Secretary Califano signed the regulations. I felt like I'd been a part of something important.

I've been thinking about going down to Philadelphia just for the day. My sitting in days are over but I can do other things.

One thing that made me mad this morning was a sign I saw about how teachers making $50,000 (which ain't a lot) are being asked to take a salary cut of 20% but God forbid we should ask millionaires to pay 3% more in taxes. That totally gets me. It's not just teachers--it's a lot of workers from what used to be the middle class. They have to take cuts in salary either directly or by paying more health insurance costs. Yet Congress has all their benefits paid for 100%, enjoys a healthy salary and retirement. Don't even get me started on the benefits and perks corporate millionaires enjoy! I can think of a couple of signs I'd make!

Some days...

...I feel pretty bitter about the way things are going for TB and me. Some days I feel like God's not there or "has better things to do" than bother with the likes of me. Sometimes it feels like he's the CEO of Bank of America. Then there's other days when I do feel God's love or I use these little tricks to cheer myself up or help me cope. These would be things like, "It could be a lot worse", "a lot of people are having hard times too", "count your blessings", or I'll read my favorite poem by Langston Hughes, "Mother to Son."

Some people just seem to be loaded down with more burdens and bad luck, though, and that's us. My mother thinks a curse was set on my family because my dad said he was an atheist. I don't believe that although some days it sure does feel like there's a curse. It's one thing after another and it's relentless, these things that happen to us. As if all that wasn't bad enough, both TB and I lost our spouses. It just goes on and on.

The protest movement against government and big business has been spreading across the country. It really lit up some anger in me because of all the corruption and greed in big business. For them it's only about the bottom line and profit, and it doesn't matter when it hurts the little guy--like when government decided to give business a big break and allow them to outsource jobs starting over 10 years ago.

TB and I have worked hard since we were teenagers. We went above and beyond because we were of a generation that took pride in what we did and doing our best for the boss. We set aside money in annuities for our retirement so we wouldn't have to depend on social security--a program we contributed heavily to for 30 years or more. Both of us got injured on the job working as hard as we did. Let me tell you, you find out real quick that they appreciate the hard, injury causing above and beyond work only while you're doing it. When you can't, there's no appreciation or loyalty. You're thrown out like trash. In the last 4 years, the annuities dwindled away. So much for our retirement.

We see other people go to the dentist and eye doctor with seeming ease. We haven't been able to get our eyes checked since TB became disabled. We can't afford to get new glasses and we don't have insurance for glasses. The same thing is true with dental visits. Medicare doesn't cover it and neither does the secondary insurance we pay hundreds of dollars a month for. Dental insurance itself is prohibitively expensive. I wonder if eye glasses and dental care are excluded from Medicare because so many seniors do need these services?

It makes me mad to hear politicians call Medicare an "entitlement" or a "Ponzi scheme". I paid into that fund my whole working life. It doesn't seem right that TB and I wouldn't be able to get our teeth looked after when we've contributed so much.

And don't get me started on what the kids are going through. Under employed and uninsured, we need them to help us survive because with expenses going up and our income frozen, we don't have enough to make it on our own. The five of us are tied together, no one being able to manage independently. Argh.

Oh well. Today I am just telling myself again, lots of people are having a hard time right now. I got a letter from my mom yesterday. Much of it was guilt inducing or confused crap but she also forwarded this great poem:

It's Fine Today
by Doughlas Malloch (1877-1938)

Sure this world is full of trouble
I ain't said it ain't
Lord, I've had enough and double
Reason for complaint;
Rain and storm have come to fret me,
Skies are often gray,
Thorns and brambles have beset me
On the road--but say,
Ain't it fine today?

What's the use of always weepin,
Makin trouble last?
What's the use of always keepin;
Thinkin of the past?
Each must have tribulation--
Water with his wine;
Life, it ain't no celebration.
Trouble? I've had mine--
But today is fine!

It's today that I am livin,
Not a month ago.
Havin, losin, takin, givin,
As time wills it so.
Yesterday a cloud of sorrow,
Fell across the way.
It may rain again tomorrow;
It may rain--but say,
Ain't it fine today?

I have to say that today is a fine day.

If I Wasn't Disabled...

...I'd get myself a tent and sleeping bag and go join the Take Over Philadelphia protestors. I am fed up and disgusted with government and big business too. As it is, I don't think I could handle being out in the elements with everything I've got going on.

I am so mad about what happened to TB yesterday. I blogged that he had a cracked tooth that he'd kept to himself for about a year because he knew we didn't have the insurance or finances to fix it. He told me about it when his jaw began to hurt relentlessly. I called the clinic in town--the one that serves those on a fixed income and who have little or no insurance--and got an appointment. I told them he'd probably need his tooth pulled because it's broken. TB went to the regular doctor meantime and got a script for an antibiotic. Tooth infections can cause all kinds of problems for the heart.

So we go for the appointment yesterday and wait for an hour before he's finally called. They took an Xray of the broken tooth and then the doctor tells him sorry, he's got to go elsewhere for either an extraction or root canal. The doctor says the clinic has stopped doing extractions and root canals. I wish someone had bothered to tell me that when I called 2 weeks ago to make the appointment! I would have called one of the recommended dental schools right off the bat.

That's where we have to go ... to a dental school in Philly or in Newark.

That's why I would join the protestors if I could. TB and I haven't had a COLA in three years but our expenses for everything keeps going up. It gets harder and harder to manage and if there's an emergency, we're screwed. The people who are protesting are basically in the same boat. They're under-employed or unemployed. Maybe they have benefits but I bet many do not. They can't meet expenses.

Meanwhile, the wealthiest Americans continue to get tax breaks. The Republicans claim if we tax the wealthy and big business, it'll kill the jobs market. What a laugh and a half. These rich businessmen have been enjoying all these tax breaks and their wealth for years--since President Bush--and they haven't generated decent jobs for anyone! Instead, they take advantage of tax breaks to send what could be decent jobs overseas.

I don't think there's any middle class anymore. I think there is getting by, skirting the line of disaster, and poor.

I also think this protest is going to continue growing. People have really had it. I know I have!