Thursday Thirteen and a bad day!

Thursday 13

I got this idea because I just finished Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King and just started his 11/22/63.

Thirteen Favorite Stephen King novels

Pretend all these titles are underlined. It's too much work for me today! ;)

1. The Stand
2. It
3. Salem's Lot
4. Dolores Claiborne
5. Hearts In Atlantis
6. Green Mile
7. The Shining
8. The Talisman
9. The Black House
10. Carrie
11. Needful Things
12. The Eyes of the Dragon
13. Bag of Bones

Getting back to Full Dark, No Stars, Stephen King delivered four short stories of one type of horror or another. He always delivers, even though I think his writing has changed since he was hit by that van and nearly killed. I'm a devoted fan of his earlier books, which appear on the list above.

I wonder what kind of book King would write if he wrote about us.

This has just been one of those days.

It's raining so TB is in excrutiating pain.

He started to chew one of our bariatric supplements for omega three. These chews used to be soft and now they're hard like rocks. One of the caps on his teeth came out. I put my chew back because that's all I need. We don't have dental coverage and won't get any until January 1.

The last time this happened, over a year ago, TB glued the cap back in himself over and over. It worked for months and then he accidentally swallowed it and we couldn't afford a new cap. So now that tooth has been sitting there uncapped. This time we'll rob Peter to pay Paul to have the dentist glue it back in. Hopefully it will stay put permanently or at least until we can get the insurance.

I had an appointment to see the kidney specialist this morning. I'd scheduled it for soon after Kristin's class started and figured I'd be back in time for the last class to end 3 hours later. Okay, you guessed it. I waited an hour in the waiting room before being called back and then went through a lot of rigamarole only to have the doctor barely look at me, order up a bunch of tests and say repeatedly I should've been sent to an endocrinologist. I got out 15 minutes before Kristin's class ended and it's a half hour drive to the school. I was aggravated and frustrated and majorly stressed out.

The sound on our TV isn't working. We don't know why.

I forgot to take a chicken out for dinner last night so I took it out around six this morning. It's still frozen. I put it into a sink of cold water. Think it'll be thawed enough for me to cut it in an hour?

With the way today's been going, I doubt it. :P

Some days...

...I feel pretty bitter about the way things are going for TB and me. Some days I feel like God's not there or "has better things to do" than bother with the likes of me. Sometimes it feels like he's the CEO of Bank of America. Then there's other days when I do feel God's love or I use these little tricks to cheer myself up or help me cope. These would be things like, "It could be a lot worse", "a lot of people are having hard times too", "count your blessings", or I'll read my favorite poem by Langston Hughes, "Mother to Son."

Some people just seem to be loaded down with more burdens and bad luck, though, and that's us. My mother thinks a curse was set on my family because my dad said he was an atheist. I don't believe that although some days it sure does feel like there's a curse. It's one thing after another and it's relentless, these things that happen to us. As if all that wasn't bad enough, both TB and I lost our spouses. It just goes on and on.

The protest movement against government and big business has been spreading across the country. It really lit up some anger in me because of all the corruption and greed in big business. For them it's only about the bottom line and profit, and it doesn't matter when it hurts the little guy--like when government decided to give business a big break and allow them to outsource jobs starting over 10 years ago.

TB and I have worked hard since we were teenagers. We went above and beyond because we were of a generation that took pride in what we did and doing our best for the boss. We set aside money in annuities for our retirement so we wouldn't have to depend on social security--a program we contributed heavily to for 30 years or more. Both of us got injured on the job working as hard as we did. Let me tell you, you find out real quick that they appreciate the hard, injury causing above and beyond work only while you're doing it. When you can't, there's no appreciation or loyalty. You're thrown out like trash. In the last 4 years, the annuities dwindled away. So much for our retirement.

We see other people go to the dentist and eye doctor with seeming ease. We haven't been able to get our eyes checked since TB became disabled. We can't afford to get new glasses and we don't have insurance for glasses. The same thing is true with dental visits. Medicare doesn't cover it and neither does the secondary insurance we pay hundreds of dollars a month for. Dental insurance itself is prohibitively expensive. I wonder if eye glasses and dental care are excluded from Medicare because so many seniors do need these services?

It makes me mad to hear politicians call Medicare an "entitlement" or a "Ponzi scheme". I paid into that fund my whole working life. It doesn't seem right that TB and I wouldn't be able to get our teeth looked after when we've contributed so much.

And don't get me started on what the kids are going through. Under employed and uninsured, we need them to help us survive because with expenses going up and our income frozen, we don't have enough to make it on our own. The five of us are tied together, no one being able to manage independently. Argh.

Oh well. Today I am just telling myself again, lots of people are having a hard time right now. I got a letter from my mom yesterday. Much of it was guilt inducing or confused crap but she also forwarded this great poem:

It's Fine Today
by Doughlas Malloch (1877-1938)

Sure this world is full of trouble
I ain't said it ain't
Lord, I've had enough and double
Reason for complaint;
Rain and storm have come to fret me,
Skies are often gray,
Thorns and brambles have beset me
On the road--but say,
Ain't it fine today?

What's the use of always weepin,
Makin trouble last?
What's the use of always keepin;
Thinkin of the past?
Each must have tribulation--
Water with his wine;
Life, it ain't no celebration.
Trouble? I've had mine--
But today is fine!

It's today that I am livin,
Not a month ago.
Havin, losin, takin, givin,
As time wills it so.
Yesterday a cloud of sorrow,
Fell across the way.
It may rain again tomorrow;
It may rain--but say,
Ain't it fine today?

I have to say that today is a fine day.

The saga of the computer goes on/Paradise Alley

Now I'm using TB's computer, LOL. Bill offered to let me borrow his old desk top. He hasn't used it in years, not since he was at Rensselaer a couple of years ago. The problem was that something was wrong with it too--TB's not sure what. However, he was able to cannibilize enough parts from that computer and another old one in the shed (gotta love the fact that TB saves everything electronic!) to create something that would run.

Next problem, however, was that the computer didn't recognize all the parts. Right now TB is reinstalling Windows and drivers to that computer.

Meantime, I was using the family computer. It was running really slow as usual and then I began to get weird messages about the fire wall license expiring. TB had to come check it and then discovered a possible trojan. Something's going on that is running links to Google from 3 different IPs. So we had to shut that one down until TB can shift his attention there.

Go away, Murphy!!!!

I found another book I read in 2009 called Paradise Alley by Kevin Baker. I was about to leave it at a book crossing, unread because I have so many. Luckily for me, I snagged it back at the last minute and decided to read it. I say luckily because it's easily one of the best historical fictions I've ever read.

It takes place in 1862, in New York City. President Lincoln had implemented a draft because of the Civil War. However, wealthy men could buy an exemption by paying to send a poor man instead. It sparked a destructive riot that went on for three days.

The book follows three women and three men during the course of that riot. They all either live or know someone in Paradise Alley, which was a waterfront slum. The riot coincides with the arrival of one of the women's deranged lovers, Dangerous Johnny Dolan. He is one of the scariest characters I've read about.

Kevin Baker is amazing. He knows his history and provides a wealth of facts without being a bore. He knows his characters. They are all unique--different backgrounds, different thoughts and beliefs, different ways of speaking and reacting. I rarely read a book that is as totally engaging and engrossing as this one.

Leave it at a book crossing site? Sorry, no. Now I plan to keep it because I'm sure I'll always want to go back and reread it!

Ok, today bites/Mancat Monday

I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday today. After posting my status at twitter--looking for the rainbow in spite of all the bad stuff going on--you'd think I'd be, right? Well...

Not me, I've got a bad case of agita. My bank positively stinks! TB and I applied in November to have our mortgage restructured...and we qualify! We filled out all the necessary paperwork and sent it back.

My day wasn't too bad until just twenty minutes ago.

Today we got a federal express delivery from Bank of America. The letter said because we didn't send two months proof of income they'd dismissed the application and we'd have to start over again.

I nearly went through the roof. TB and I have both been on social security disability for the last two years! The only verification I could give them was our award letters plus letters stating how much we'd be getting each month in 2009/2010.

Are the people in this department of the bank stupid or are they just deliberately playing games with us?

I couldn't call today because, of course, the bank is closed due to the holiday. So I've been telling myself to calm down and save my worry and aggravation for tomorrow.

Deep breathing, Cass. Deep breathing. :P

What can I do to feel better? Hmmm...maybe a little cat blogging? Who's around?


Kosmo: I yam havin a betteh day dan you, Mommy Bean, but I yam a widdle aggervatapated too!
Me: Oh no, whassamatta?

Kosmo: Weell, nuttin now but befor Daddy Bean wuz lovin me too long!

I liks lovins but I wanna go when I wanna go!

Ah well, we all have our own agita to bear, eh?

Want more cat blogging?

Hope everyone is enjoying their holiday!

Me: Hey, Kosmo, whassup, buddy?

Want more cat blogging? Be sure to check out Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest in the cat blogosphere!

Monday Sundries

Some days I really do feel like I'm living under a cursed cloud.

Today my right leg turned red and I can feel a lump. I have pain from the hip area. Now my left leg is also turning red and lumpy. Are these blood clots? Am I having an allergic reaction to a new medication? I'm waiting for my doctor's office to call and let me know whether I can come in to see them today. I don't want to have to go to the ER!

We also got a letter from the IRS. They took a look at our tax return for 2006 and decided to add on $4,000.

My daughter and hubby both needed glasses so we went to one of those America's Best places because they advertised free eye exams and two frames for $69.95. I thought we'd be able to get a frame apiece for TB and Heidi but no such luck. Not only that but the price is good only when you don't need any extras for the lenses and so on. The whole thing is going to cost almost $900. The only way we can afford this is that our social security lawyer is refunding some of his fee...well, now it's all gone!

Can it get any better than this?

Manic MOnday

Manic Monday #135

Pick out the most important item you have in your purse/wallet and tell me why it's important to you.
At this moment in time, I'd say it's my health insurance card because without it, I'm doomed

What would you take from your house if you knew it would be flooded tomorrow? My pictures

If you were stuck in a room for an hour with a chalk board, what would you draw on it? Doodle flowers

Give Me Five
Give Me Five birthday memories from your life or of someone else.

1. My own birthday--I had a surprise party when I was 10 years old.
2. I threw a surprise party for my then fiancee, my first dh, when he was 23 years old. That was fun!
3. For his 25th birthday, I hired a singing gorilla to surprise my first dh
4. I helped plan my dh's 50th birthday party and his family members gave him a lot of gag gifts. Not so much fun.
5. My son's 21st birthday...this was a rite of passage, my "baby" is now a man!